Cal jumped on me, knocking the wind out of me, and held my face between his hands. He squeezed tightly, and I was afraid he’d crush my skull.
“No, see, that’s what I’m about to do to you. For hours. And then Tim’s gonna do it. And then Parker. For hours, until you’ve been used up like a little bitch ragdoll. And you wanna know the funny part? You won’t remember a thing.”
I inhaled deeply for another long scream until I felt fingers go around my neck.
“You scream, and I’ll fucking squeeze your head off,” Cal warned.
I swallowed, or tried to, and Cal took it as a sign that I’d obey.
Tim came back and hovered over my face.
“I don’t trust that ecstasy bullshit, Cal. I told you that from the beginning.”
“What is that?” Cal asked.
“It’s called a Roach or something. That’s what the guy said, anyway,” Tim replied. “It’s supposed to be a memory wiper.”
“Where’d you get it?”
“Never mind where I got it. The point is that I don’t wanna take any chances with her. She takes it or I’m out.”
Cal shrugged and lifted my head, and I fought with all my might, kicking my legs and twisting from side to side. But he was too strong and eventually trapped my face between his large hands, holding me perfectly still while Tim shoved the pill into my mouth. They forced me to drink down the water, and I coughed and spluttered most of it all over my cheeks and neck. But they succeeded in getting me to swallow the pill, and I cried out of fear and frustration for what I knew it’d do to me and what they’d do to me. I would be passed out in minutes, completely vulnerable to their sexual attacks.
“Don’t cry, Brooklyn,” Cal said. “We all love you. And we’re about to show you. We’re even gonna let you come first. That’s how much we love you.”
The boys snickered as I pleaded with them to let me go.
“Parker, you’re the best at it,” Cal said. He looked down at me. “See, I never really cared to figure out how to make a girl feel good. I usually just make it about me. Tim? Well, he always makes it about him. But Parker, here, he’s a pro. He’ll have you screaming in a matter of minutes. The good kind of screaming.”
“I don’t think I want to make her come,” Parker said. “She doesn’t know how to behave herself. My fucking hand hurts.”
“Now, Parker,” Cal said. It was a stupid, placating sort of tone. “Let Brooklyn have a little bit of fun. She’s gonna earn it, after all.”
Parker shrugged, and Tim and Cal grasped my thighs, spreading them wide until my hamstrings screamed in protest.
“Wow, that’s nice,” Cal said. “Don’t you think Brooklyn has a nice *, Tim?”
“I do,” Tim said. “I can’t wait to shove my dick in it.”
“What do you think, Brooklyn?” Cal asked. “You want Tim to shove his dick in you?”
“Stop!!” I screamed, but Parker touched me anyway, one hand pressed firmly on my lower abdomen to keep me still while the other probed me between my legs. It wasn’t a predator’s touch; it was a lover’s touch, gentle yet firm. Experienced.
“Wow, you must really be enjoying this,” Parker said, stroking me softly.
“How do you know?” Cal asked, watching me intently as I struggled against Parker’s hand.
“Well, she’s wet,” Parker replied. “Really wet. I think she likes being used this way.” He leaned over and whispered in my ear. “You’re right. I hated you from the moment I met you. But look how nice I am, making you feel so good. Making you get all wet for me. Because you’re my fucking whore, aren’t you?”
I don’t know why I was moaning. Whatever drug they gave me turned me to liquid all over again, eventually lulling me into a false sense of security, even tricking me into imagining that the hand touching me belonged to a different boy—a boy I thought I loved. And I should have told him that the day he confessed his love to me.
I fought it. I tried to focus on my humiliation—my nakedness and their hungry eyes. Parker’s ugly words. I tried to remember I was being touched against my will, but I was quickly giving up the fight, letting Parker use my body against me. I replayed his earlier statement over and over in my mind while I begged him to stop: “It’s not rape if they come.”
I wanted to pass out now. Then I wouldn’t come. I would be safe from that shame, dreaming somewhere far away in a place where evil doesn’t mask itself behind boyish charms and all-American façades. I closed my eyes and waited for the darkness to consume me, and it finally did, but not before my body responded to Parker’s hand, climaxing painfully while I was held down, stripped of integrity and hurled into some kind of limbo where I knew I was a victim but my body disagreed.