“Let’s get you feeling better,” he said, tightening his grip on my arm.
“I’m fine,” I said, but I knew I wasn’t. I was looking at him through half-mast lids, unable to open my eyes completely. My body hummed with electric liquid, and I wanted to love everything around me in that moment, the moment I discovered what love truly felt like. Warm and sultry, like an old black and white movie.
Cal helped me into a car, but it wasn’t mine. I guess it was his. I was fascinated with all the buttons on his dashboard, and decided I’d like to press them.
“Don’t do that,” he ordered, when he climbed into the driver’s seat.
“But I like them,” I argued.
Cal laughed and pulled out of the parking lot.
“Where are we going?” I asked, not caring in the least. I thought I needed a bed to lie down on, and I didn’t care whose bed or where it was located.
“Nowhere, Brooke,” I heard Cal say as I dozed off to the low sounds of the radio.
I woke up to darkness. Cramped darkness. I didn’t know where I was, but the panic set in immediately, my heart racing as I tugged on my arms. My wrists were bound behind my back with something thin and tight, digging painfully into my flesh. I tried to focus, letting my eyes get accustomed to the darkness, and realized I was in someone’s closet. And it was packed with boxes and heaps of clothes and other junk that surrounded me. I had only a small space to call my own right in front of the door.
I kicked my foot out by reflex creating a loud thunk against the hollow door.
“Is someone awake?” I heard from the other side.
I kicked the door again. It wasn’t as loud. I realized I was tired. My limbs felt heavy and strange, and I pushed my foot out like I didn’t really care. Like I didn’t truly have a purpose for doing it.
“Brooklyn? Are you up?”
It sounded like Cal’s voice, and I nodded.
“Let me out,” I said. The words felt like weights on my tongue. It was the hardest sentence I think I’d ever said.
“Brooklyn, I’m trying to help you,” Cal said. “Help you get over your fear of tight places.”
I thought I would die. My chest hurt from the rapid pounding of my heart, and I was waiting for the inevitable explosion. I was terrified, but my body was trapped in a sluggish state. I couldn’t feel any adrenaline pumping throughout my limbs, signaling a fight to live, to escape. Only the focus of pounding at the center of my chest threatening a panic attack of monumental proportions.
Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Just search for a way out.
“Brooklyn? How are you doing in there? I know it’s a bit tight.”
I breathed in as deeply as possible, putting pressure on my stressed heart, then let out the loudest scream I could muster.
A sharp banging on the door silenced me instantly.
“Don’t do that, Brooklyn,” Cal demanded. “Or you’ll be sorry.”
“Please let me go,” I begged, and felt the first of many tears roll slowly down my cheeks.
“Brooklyn, can’t you see that I’m trying to help you?”
“You want to hurt me,” I sobbed, twisting my body in an attempt to free my hands. The ties felt like they were growing tighter, and my hands started going numb.
“No, Brooklyn,” Cal said. “You only think I want to hurt you. But I’m going to make you feel good.”
There was something sinister in the words, but my drugged brain couldn’t pinpoint it.
“Just breathe,” Cal instructed, and I did what I was told.
I breathed in and out, closing my eyes and trying to conjure the field. It was no use, however, as my hands went completely numb save for the occasional tingling pricks.
“I hurt, Cal!” I cried in panic. “Please let me out! My hands hurt!”
“I know, baby. But you’re not ready yet,” he replied.
I kicked the door in frustration, trying to focus all my energy into my foot. I managed a respectable thud, and Cal raised his voice.
“Brooklyn, stop kicking my fucking door! I’ll keep you in there longer if you don’t behave!”
I moaned softly.
“That’s right, Brooklyn. I want you to moan for me. I want to hear you freak out,” Cal said. “Go on. You know you want to. Go on and have the biggest panic attack of your life. I wanna hear every bit of it.”
“Why are you doing this?” I cried. My heart thumped painfully, and I knew in a few minutes he’d get exactly what he wanted. I couldn’t fight it off much longer.
“Because afterwards, I’m gonna make it all better. I’m gonna fuck that sweet little cunt of yours until you pass out all over again.”