From This Moment On

16



NIKKI HEARD A NOISE, turned her head and saw Trace, but not Gypsy. “What are you doing here?” She dabbed at her cheeks to make sure they weren’t damp before he got too close. She hadn’t cried really, just got a little teary. “Were we supposed to meet today?” she asked, so confused she couldn’t think straight.

“No.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “I have my truck. Guess you didn’t hear me drive up.”

“I thought you were moving cattle.” She slid off the rock she’d been sitting on for the past hour and dusted off her butt while she waited for him to reach her.

“I was.” He left the trail, cut through the tall grass and put his arms around her. “Rough day, huh?”

“Is that a shot in the dark or did you talk to Matt?”

“He called.”

Nikki sighed. Pressing her cheek against his chest, taking comfort in the strong steady beat of his heart, she felt some of the tension leave her body. “He shouldn’t have done that.”

“Of course he should have. If it were Rachel, I’d have done the same for him.”

Matt and Rachel were getting married in a few months so it wasn’t at all the same. But Nikki appreciated the sentiment. “He didn’t know I was here, though.”

“He said you were upset...” Trace brushed a kiss on her forehead. “I figured you might come here.” He sighed. “Wallace always was a bastard. That didn’t change. I know it’s hard, but don’t let it get to you.”

“Wow, Matt told you everything.”

He leaned back and studied her face, touching the outside corner of her eye with his thumb. “You mind?”

She blinked, hoping there were no tears ready to fall. “I would’ve told you myself...eventually. It’s not about the Lone Wolf or the money.”

“I know that.” He sat on the huge rock she’d used as a bench and pulled her onto his lap.

Nikki started to object...but it felt nice being cocooned by his chest and arms. “I hate that you left work. I’m really okay.”

“You think I could do anything but come find you?” He stroked her back, rubbed her arm. “Remember that thing about you not being alone anymore?”

Dammit. So much for no more tears. Sometimes kindness was the worst...

“Hey.” He ignored her efforts to hide her face and caught her chin. “Did I just do that?” He looked into her watery eyes, the alarm in his expression restoring some of her calm.

“Yes, you’re being too nice. Stop it.”

“Sorry. I can’t do that.” He touched his lips to hers, the gentle kiss meant only to soothe.

“How did Matt sound? Is he okay?”

“He was worried. I called him as soon as I spotted your truck and he seemed relieved. Didn’t tell him where you were. No need to give up our favorite make-out spot.”

Nikki smiled. “He was so angry, even with the attorney, who was only doing his job.” She watched a squirrel scurrying up a tree with something in its mouth. “Now that I’ve had time to think, for Matt’s sake, I’m glad Wallace did what he did.”

“You might want to fill me in more,” Trace said, frowning as if he couldn’t see her point. “Matt gave me the gist but he was pissed and not too clear.”

She wasn’t thrilled to recap the meeting, but it was a good test to see if she truly was making peace with Wallace. “You know about the Gunderson Trust,” she said, and he nodded so she skipped that part, summed up the rest, digging for composure when she got to the one provision in the will. “The money he left, it’s a lot, around $172,000.” Trace’s brows shot up. Apparently Matt hadn’t told him how much. “Basically he wants me gone, even though he’s dead. I get the cash if I sign over my rights to Matt.”

Trace didn’t look surprised, only furious. “I know...what I don’t get is why you’re okay with Wallace being a manipulative jackass or how you can believe that helps Matt.”

“At first I was mad and hurt that he thought he had to protect his precious family land from me. After all, I’m not a ‘true’ Gunderson, only his bastard.” She shook her head when Trace started to object, and regretted her bitter tone. Clearly she had more work to do on herself. “But the attorney said something that made me think. I’m not sure that stipulation had much to do with me. Wallace might’ve been trying to make amends to Matt. He wouldn’t care about the money, not with what he’s stashed from his winnings. But Matt loves the Lone Wolf.”

“Nice thought, except there’s no way Matt would be satisfied with you being cut out. He probably hates Wallace even more now.”

She sighed, understanding the logic. She herself despised Wallace more for what he’d done to Matt than for abandoning her. “After the hurt and anger dies down, I’ll talk to him. Wallace was screwed up. But I want Matt to believe that his father had tried to make things up to him the only way he knew how.”

His brows puckered, Trace studied her with no less concern. “You’re taking this a whole lot better than I imagined.”

“You should’ve seen me an hour ago. I thought, wow, Wallace was scum and he thought I wasn’t good enough to be a part of his family.”

“Jesus, Nikki.” Letting out a harsh breath, he forced her to look at him. “Don’t ever go there. You’re amazing.”

She couldn’t help but smile. “And you’re...” She touched his stubbled jaw. “I was so wrong about you.”

He gave her a crooked grin. “You figured I was just another pretty face, and hollow inside like a chocolate Easter bunny.”

“Actually, yes.” She laughed. “Not the chocolate bunny, that part didn’t occur to me.”

Trace hugged her, his quiet growl the sound of pure contentment. “That’s a lot of money you’re about to get. More than enough to go back to school if you want. They have a few good colleges in Kalispell. Not that I’m being selfish.”

Nikki stiffened. “I haven’t decided if I’m going to accept the money.”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

“I never wanted anything from him. You know that.”

“Hell, Wallace isn’t here. You’d only be hurting yourself by turning it down.”

She slipped off his lap. “I’d know the money came from him.”

Trace caught her hand. “Don’t be hasty. You need time. And don’t forget about school,” he said while doing light circles on her wrist with his thumb. “Is your hesitation about the Lone Wolf? You know Matt would never let you give up your share.”

“I don’t want the Lone Wolf, either. I don’t even know if I’m cut out for this slow country life.” She hadn’t meant to raise her voice or be quite so honest, but it shocked her to see the raw disappointment in his eyes.

“Maybe not,” he said grimly, tugging her close again. “But if you don’t take the money and just disappear, Wallace wins.” Trace put his hands on her waist. “You’re still emotional, and you and Matt have a lot to discuss. Promise me you’ll take your time to decide.”

She nodded, not sure if he’d pulled her toward him or if she’d stepped forward. He cradled her between his spread thighs, his arms wrapping around her and hers circling his neck. Their foreheads touching, neither of them moved. He was right. She was still emotional. For the better part of an hour, she’d thought about the past, from the mess with Garrett and the prom to how she’d foolishly tried to find comfort in Luis. Worst of all was how often she’d hurt her mother.

She didn’t want to do that to Trace, too. He was so amazing in many, many ways, and much more than someone like her deserved. Wallace had been a bastard, all right. But who was to say he was wrong? Maybe she really wasn’t good enough. Maybe she never would be.

* * *

TRACE MISSED OBLITERATING his thumb by a hair. He threw the hammer down and cursed his stupidity. “That’s it. I’m done for the day. You quit, too, if you want,” he said to Josh. “These warped boards will still be here tomorrow.”

Tempted as he was to leave the tools scattered, Trace crouched down and started throwing everything into the toolbox. The way they landed all helter-skelter, he’d never be able to close the damn thing.

“I’ll do that,” Josh said. “Go.”

“Nah, that’s all right.” He’d feel guilty as hell leaving his friend with the mess. Bad enough Trace had been moody since seeing Nikki, no need to let Josh take the brunt of it.

“I’m not trying to be nice.” Josh collected the rags. “It’s self-defense. Get out of here before I end up on crutches.”

A grudging smile tugged at Trace’s mouth. “I haven’t been that bad.”

Josh gave him a long look. “You almost ran over my toes with the four-wheeler. And I’m pretty sure you’ve used every cussword you know in English and Spanish.”

Trace gave up on closing the toolbox. “Not all of them.”

Josh took it from him. “You going to the Watering Hole after supper? I’ll buy you a beer.”

That was part of Trace’s problem. He couldn’t decide if it was better to go see her or stay away. What he really wanted to do was talk to Matt about her, but he knew that would only lead to trouble—if Nikki went behind his back and discussed him with Rachel, he’d sure be pissed.

“Yeah, I’ll go. But I’m buying. I reckon that’s the least I can do.” He watched Josh patiently rearrange the tools and close the box. “When do you leave to see your girl?”

“Not for three weeks. Fourth of July weekend.” Josh’s grin was wider than the Grand Canyon. “Can’t come fast enough.”

“You going all the way to New York?”

“Nope. Haley’s meeting me partway.”

“Where?”

Josh’s grin faded. “Why?”

Trace shrugged. “Just curious.” It was more than that. Haley had been a Sundance guest when Josh met her. She lived in Manhattan, and Trace had wondered how that would pan out for them. Josh had never doubted they could make it work, but Trace had. He hoped he wouldn’t be put to the same long-distance test with Nikki. “Come on, where are you guys meeting?”

Josh sighed. “Disneyland.”

“What?”

“You heard right.”

They were heading out of the barn but Trace stopped and laughed. “You haven’t seen Haley in how many months, and you’re taking her to Disneyland? Son, you need your head screwed on tighter.”

“It’s not me.” He held up his hands. “Haley wants to go there. I didn’t argue.” Josh narrowed his eyes. “If Nikki wanted to go to Siberia, tell me you wouldn’t be packed in two minutes.”

“Shut up.” Trace started walking again, veering off toward the house.

“You wanna ride with me to town?” Josh called after him.

“No, I’m taking my truck.”

“Right.” Josh’s laugh grated on his nerves. “In case you-know-who wants to go to Siberia.”

Trace flipped him off without a look back. A guest could’ve seen him, but so what. His mood wasn’t getting any better, and he figured he ought to skip dinner. Sitting at the table and trying to be nice would be torture. He wasn’t even hungry. And he sure as hell didn’t want to make small talk.

What a fool he’d been to think Nikki could be happy living here. She’d get bored sooner or later. Bored with Blackfoot Falls, bored with him. It wasn’t so much what she’d said about not being cut out for the country, it was how she’d said it. He had a bad feeling she’d already made up her mind.

It still appalled him to think he’d actually been tempted to discourage her from taking the money. If she was broke, she’d have to stay. But with all that cash, she could set herself up someplace real nice. Man, he couldn’t stand to think about her leaving. He had no right to ask her to stay, he knew that, but if the time came, he just might beg her.

That would be something. He never imagined he’d have to humble himself for a woman. Not that he thought he was too good for a little humility. Finding a willing woman had always been easy for him. The guys used to tease him about being able to pick and choose. It had been all in good fun, but it also had been the truth. He didn’t like this new game plan.

He stopped in the mudroom to scrape his boots. They were in terrible shape but not so bad they’d harm the wood floors. Rachel would yell if she saw him sneaking in with them on, but he didn’t care. Besides, he thought he’d heard her on the porch with the guests. It was beer and margarita time for them. And the perfect opportunity for him to creep upstairs unnoticed.

He opened the door to the kitchen and she stood right there in front of him, dropping a can into the recycle bin.

Her gaze went straight to his boots, eyes narrowing to a glare. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t want to hear it,” he said, putting up a warning finger. Hilda stood at the stove, and she turned in surprise at his rough tone. “Trust me. Bad time to get into it with me,” he added to make sure Rachel backed off.

“I know,” she said softly. “I really hate Wallace. I do.”

“Have you seen Matt?”

She shook her head. “We talked on the phone. I’ll see him later. How’s Nikki?”

“I know she went to work.” He rubbed the tension tightening the back of his neck. “Count me out for dinner.”

“Can I at least make you a sandwich?”

“No, thanks. I’m going to town...” He sighed. Hell, everyone knew about him and Nikki at this point. “To the bar. If I get hungry I’ll grab something at Marge’s.”

Rachel nodded. “Go. I’ll see you later.” She blinked, then her eyes rounded with surprise. “Maybe at the Lone Wolf,” she said, laughing and blushing. “Oh, God.”

“Ah.” He got it. If he spent the night with Nikki it would be kind of weird knowing his kid sister was down the hall with Matt. Trace just laughed. “We bump into each other in the dark and I’ll pretend I don’t know you.”

“Same here.” She bit her lip and glanced at Hilda, who kept turning over pieces of sizzling fried chicken, while paying them no attention. Though she must’ve heard.

Rachel abruptly turned away, trying not to laugh, and he raced out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his room in record time. He lingered in the shower, letting the warm spray hit the back of his neck and stiff shoulders. He had to stop giving his thoughts free rein. Whether Nikki stayed or left, him worrying about it wouldn’t change a damn thing.

Ten minutes later, the idea that she could pack up and leave at any time still rattled him no matter what he told himself. With Wallace gone, and Matt busy with setting a new course for the Lone Wolf, there wouldn’t be much to keep Nikki around here. Trace wanted to think she’d stay for him, but he hadn’t come out and asked her to, or told her how he felt about her. Of course he still hadn’t quite narrowed that down yet.

He dried himself off, pulled on clean jeans and took a brown Western-cut shirt out of his closet. The guys would razz him again for wearing his good clothes, and he was in just the right mood to tell them where to shove it.

The ride to town went by quickly. Already there was no street parking in front of the Watering Hole. He saw Nikki’s pickup next to the bank and grabbed a spot two trucks away.

Music spilled out onto the sidewalk. The heavy wood door was no match when someone cranked up the jukebox. He would’ve liked it a whole lot better if the bar wasn’t so crowded, but nothing to do about it. He’d barely made it inside when someone whistled, then he heard a catcall and laughter. It was the shirt. Screw them.

Nikki stood at the end of the bar where she turned in her drink orders, looking over her shoulder to see what the noise was about. She saw him and smiled.

He actually felt a strange sensation in his chest. Man, it was going to be hard to walk over and not kiss her. But she looked relaxed as if this was any other night, and for now that was good enough. She moved over to make room for him, and he didn’t hesitate.

“This is early for you,” she said once he crowded in between her and a young cowboy sitting on a stool.

“I skipped supper.” He almost touched her cheek, but diverted his hand to plow through his hair at the last second. “Everyone else seems to have had the same idea.”

“It’s been crazy busy since Sadie unlocked the door.” Her gaze moved over his shirt. “You look nice. Smell nice, too,” she whispered, swaying against him, her lids at half-mast.

“Don’t go starting anything we can’t finish,” he muttered, afraid his cock mistook that as an invitation to party.

“Oh, right. Sorry.”

“Trace?” Sadie was a bit farther down the bar, mixing a drink. “Beer?”

“Don’t worry about me. I can wait.”

“Oh, shoot, I was about to help fill mugs.” Nikki scribbled something on her pad, then swung to the other side of the bar.

He waited until she had a pitcher and mugs lined up. “Before I forget, we should set a time for a riding lesson tomorrow.”

“Oh.” She fiddled with the tap. Once the beer began flowing, she nodded. “Good idea. I’d prefer the afternoon if that’s okay.”

Relief surged through his body. In the few seconds it took for her to agree, he’d realized how much he needed to hear she didn’t plan on going anywhere...at least not tomorrow. “Just let me know when and I’ll be at our spot.”

With a fretful frown, she met his eyes. “About later,” she said softly, her voice tinged with disappointment. “It sounds as if you’re not coming over tonight.”

One more rush of relief and he was going to need to sit down. “I haven’t been invited yet.”

Nikki’s smile lit up every dark cloud hanging over his heart. “Silly boy, I want you every night.”

The relief that flowed through him nearly knocked him sideways. He might not be certain about where he and Nikki were headed, but the idea that he wouldn’t have the chance to find out had been killing him.

She wasn’t leaving tonight. Tomorrow things would seem better. And after that...he had no idea, but at least time no longer felt like a fight he couldn’t win.