My parents would be getting out of church at around 2:00; Mom usually socialized for about 30 minutes and it would take them about 20 minutes to get home if they made no stops along the way. For AJ to stay past 2:30 would be pushing it. “Why don’t we make it eleven?” I suggested, wanting as much time with him as I could get, even if it was just an extra hour.
Through the phone, I could hear him laugh quietly to himself and then he replied, “Okay, I’ll text you to get the directions after I get out the shower.”
That was an image that I could’ve done without. I smacked my forehead and squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as I could. Speaking through clenched teeth, I replied, “Talk to you in a few.” I hung up and took a few deep breaths before heading upstairs to get ready.
About an hour and a half later AJ sent me a text asking for the directions to my house, prompting me to respond immediately. Then, seconds later another text came in.….and it was from Antonio this time. Themessage read, “Want some company?”
This was nothappening! I had to think quickly. “Not feeling 2 well.”
“Need me2 bring u something?” He asked.
“No, my mom is taking good care of me. Thanks tho.”
“Ok. I still may come by l8r 2 check on u.”
Crap! What am I gonna do? This was bad…..very bad, but that’s what I get for making such reckless decisions. I should’ve never agreed to let AJ come over. Now what? Somehow I had to keep one of them away from my house. I concluded that it made the most sense for me to deter Antonio since we were already texting one another. It was a poor excuse, and I couldn’t lie to myself; that wasn’t the real reason I was rejecting him. I wanted to see AJ more than I wanted to see him.
“No really, I’ll b embarrassed if u come by with me looking like this. Promise u won’t try 2 surprise me,” I insisted. It took him a while to respond, but he finally agreed to respect my wishes. The guilt that I felt was so strong as thought about the lie I’d just told.
*****
About 40 minutes later, the doorbell sounded. My fingers fumbled through my hair and over my clothes checking to make sure that everything was just right as I placed my hand on the door knob, took a deep breath, and opened it.
It was all so surreal. Only days ago everything was the way it was supposed to be; I was absolutely sure of my feelings for Antonio; there were no shaded areas of grey, only black and white. Somewhere along the way the lines became fuzzy and I ended up here, standing before one of the most beautiful and exotic men I’d ever seen in my entire life. My eyes lingered on AJ’s face for a few seconds, taking it all in; from the perfection of his tan colored skin; piercingly dark eyes; slightly squared jaw line, and finally focusing on his lips for a minute before I’d noticed that I was subconsciously biting my own. There was a brief pause before I was able to speak.
“Hey,” I blurted in an unfamiliar monotone.
He smiled, displaying his perfect teeth again. “You gonna invite me in?”
I stood there another moment, fascinated by him, and then regained consciousness long enough to move aside so that he could enter. My hands were unsteady as I fought against the shiver that being near him sent racing down my back. When I closed the front door, we walked into the living room and I motioned for him to have a seat on the couch.
“Can I get you anything?” I asked.
“No, I’m good. Thanks.”
There was an awkward tension between the two of us that left me feeling slightly uncomfortable. Sitting next to him on the couch would’ve made me even more uneasy, so I decided to sit in Daddy’s armchair. AJ stared at me for a moment and then lowered his head and laughed to himself.
“What’s funny?”
“You are,” he responded with a smile still fixed on his lips.