“Liked? Understatement,”he replied bringing a smile to my face yet again. But as badly as I wanted to see where this conversation would take us it wasn’t smart to let it go on. I’d already crossed the line and it wasn’t going to get any better as we continued on.
This situation had arisen from out of nowhere, but there was something about him that intrigued me. He made my body feel like it was disconnected from my mind. My brain would tell me to go in one direction and I’d do the total opposite. I was treading on dangerous territory. Antonio was extremely important to me and I didn’t want to jeopardize our relationship for anything. This was what my mind was telling me, but as I said before, my body seems to be doing its own thing. So, I continued to reject my mind’s warnings and walked blindly into what was sure to be chaos.
“Will u call me tomorrow?” I asked.
“What time do u get up?” he texted back. I liked that he was so eager to continue our conversation.
“About 9.”
“K, call u at 9:01,”he replied.
“I’ll b waiting”
What the heck just happened?
Of course sleep wouldn’t come easy in spite of my exhaustion – definitely not after talking to him. I lay awake for a while staring up at the ceiling through the darkness. A lot transpired that night and I wasn’t quite sure what to make of any of it. Nothing was making much sense to me anymore. On one hand, considering that I’m in an exclusive relationship with Antonio, my dealings with AJ were becoming completely inappropriate. But then on the other hand, I felt strangely drawn to him. I considered for a moment that I might even be developing a crush on him after only noticing him a little more than 24 hours ago. It wasn’t only his physical appearance that had my mind wandering anymore, now I’d seen a little into his personality too. He’s polite, funny, and he has an insanely high level of confidence that I can’t even begin to explain. I sighed aloud and pulled the covers over my head. What am I doing? I’m gonna mess everything up.
*****
I awoke feeling refreshed. After stretching a little, I sat up and swung my feet out of bed and sat there a moment while I gathered the strength to go downstairs to find something to eat. The clock read 8:43. In that instant, all the events from the previous day unfolded in my mind like a scroll. Before I could stop it, I was again consumed by the same excitement, guilt and uncertainty that swam through my head before sleep temporarily relieved me of my troubles. I took a deep breath and made my way down the stairs.
The house was silent, so I assumed that my parents had already left out. They sometimes went out to breakfast alone together on weekends and since it was Sunday, I was sure that they’d be attending church afterward. It was their chance to get away and enjoy each other. I marveled at their relationship. After nearly 20 years of marriage they still managed to keep the love alive. I saw it in the way Mom would sometimes watch Daddy when he wasn’t even aware of it. She’d smile to herself, I assumed she was letting her mind wander back, visiting some distant memory. I saw it in the way Daddy never forgot to kiss her before heading out the door. I’d made note a long time ago of his expression when he would have to be apart from her for any length of time. It was almost like a mixture of anguish and worry, as if it was physically painful for him to be out of her presence. Their relationship was definitely one that I envied. Does everyone have a chance to be as happy as they are? Or are they the anomaly?