“Yeah, I trust you Ethan. One hundred percent.”
I kiss the frown right off her beautiful face until her lips are swollen and my chest burns from the lack of oxygen. I’m about to delve in for more when her cell starts to beep.
“It’s probably my mom messaging me,” she says retrieving the phone from her back pocket. The screen says, ‘Moira’ and I glower, remembering it's not the first time I’ve noticed my mom texting her. Blair’s eyes dart to mine and then to her cell, and I get an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“Why’s my mom been texting you?”
She stays quiet a beat too long and my anxiety grows.
"I’ll explain when everyone has gone home, okay?” The way she answers doesn’t overly inspire my confidence that it’s nothing to worry about. I slide her off my lap and walk straight into the house, announcing that everyone needs to go because I’m wiped out. Blair looks like she’s about to throw up as I close the door after Casey and Brie take a ridiculously long time to say goodbye.
I lean my back against the door, take a deep breath and steel myself for the blow that I’m certain she’s about to deliver.
“Okay, Blair. What’s going on?”
CASEY AND BRIE ambush me as the guys pile into Ethan’s front hall. With the exception of how I am with him, I’m most definitely not what you would deem a touchy girly girl. Their assault on me takes me by surprise. They hug me like Em would have, and although I feel awkward I’m also a little taken back at how good it feels to have girlfriends. I miss Em every day; knowing that these two have my back is like a balm soothing the void losing her has caused.
They start talking at a million miles an hour over one another, and my head spins as it whips from side to side. I have no clue who to answer or which one to give my attention to. The decision is made for me when I watch Dannii walk in, hand in hand with Drew. I have barely spoken with her since the day I heard her in the bathrooms at school.
“Blair, so good to see you,” she says in her sugary-sweet drawl as she passes by. I’d believe she was being genuine if I didn’t know any different. I smile a toothy fake grin that matches her own and lead the way through to the kitchen.
The evening is pretty much spent answering questions about how Ethan and I are doing post-accident. I can’t help but take note of the way Dannii sits glaring at me. I need to confront her at some point but tonight is definitely not the night. I have a feeling I’ll need my mental strength to be on point, and at the moment I’m totally drained.
I decide to leave the kitchen when Casey and Brie begin to discuss how completely perfect Jackson’s body is in an impressively remarkable amount of graphic detail. I blush and feel like I’ve just seen naked pictures of him. It's so wrong; I shake the mental images from my head and bolt for the backyard when they expect a rundown as to how Ethan’s form compares.
I step out onto the patio and find the guys sitting on the loungers. Jackson is leaning forward gritting his teeth while Ethan looks like he’s about to have a panic attack. I catch the tail end of their conversation and make my presence known as I join in.
I wasn’t expecting to be hit with rumors about him and Della. I watch the worry etch itself firmly onto his features while he stammers that he can’t confirm for certain that they're not true. Pre-accident, this would have been an issue. I’d have undoubtedly been crushed, but as I’m looking at him now, I realize that I know the stories aren’t true. We spent every day together before we took our trip, and I don’t for a second believe that he could act the way he does around me while cheating on me with her. Maybe I’m delusional, and this will come back and bite me in the ass, but then again, maybe it won't. If nearly losing Ethan taught me anything, it’s that life is too short to worry about the past, and to be grateful that we are lucky enough to have a present.
We're in the middle of a pretty intense make-out session when I stupidly pull my beeping phone from my pocket. Moira’s name is flashing like a neon sign and Ethan’s already noticed. I want to make an excuse and spare him the pain I’m about to cause, because I know he’s going to ask why she’s texting me and I’m done with the secrets.
“You lied to me!” It’s a statement, not a question, and I wrap my arms tightly around my waist as armor. My heart begins its slow descent into my stomach in response to the look he’s pinning on me.
“I didn’t lie, Ethan. I just didn’t tell you everything. There’s a difference, baby.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it!”
“I swear, I—”
“Shut up, please just shut up for one second. I need to process this.”