“Please just tell me you feel the same way.”
I shook my head. This was too much to process. Emotion overload. “You hurt me. If you think singing a song—badly, I might add—is going to win me back, you obviously don’t think very highly of me. This isn’t a game, Ryan.”
Did he really mean it when he said he loved me? To hear those words come from his mouth, the sincerity in his eyes, the way he looked at me like I was his everything. This could be real, right? I wanted it to be real. Not because I needed it to be happy, but because, deep down, I really cared for Ryan.
“What we have is real, Jules. It wasn’t a game to me.”
I folded my arms over my chest. “How do I know you’re telling the truth?”
“Do you think I’d get up here and make a fool out of myself if I didn’t really care?”
“Maybe. How am I supposed to have a relationship with someone I can’t trust?”
“But I’ve been straightforward with you the whole time. Yes, I used the stupid magazine, but the feelings are real.”
“I…” This was just too much to handle. “Don’t think I can do this. I’m sorry, Ryan. I just need time.”
“But Jules…”
My chin wobbled as I cleared my throat, swallowing back my tears. “Just go.”
Could he actually be telling the truth? Could this work? Things had been going so well before I’d found out about the whole magazine article fiasco and his chat with Lex. But I didn’t know if I had it in me to put myself out there again.
His shoulders slumped. He pulled a CD case out of his back pocket and placed it on the counter before turning to leave. “Here. I made this for you.”
I looked down at the CD. Numbers with song titles and a note for each one was written around the whole surface, spiraling until it met the middle. Little unicorns decorated the outer rim.
1. Jules, you’ve Been Caught Stealing my heart
2. From the moment I saw you, I thought, All I Want is You. Only you
3. It’s All the Small Things that make me love you
4. Like the fact I Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You whenever you’re around
5. Or how I can’t stop thinking about how you turned my ears Violet for a week after smashing me with a paint balloon.
6. You’re more than Just a Girl, you’re my whole world
7. I Come Undone when I see your smile
8. I may want to be All Over You when we’re together, but it’s more than just physical
9. When it’s Just the Two of Us, I can tell you make me a better person. Someone I want to be.
10. But most of all, you gave me Faith. I love you, Jules.
Tears streamed down my face as I finished reading the CD. I looked up, through blurred vision, but everyone had gone back to their aisles, and Ryan was gone.
Oh my God. I just let Ryan walk out. He may have been an idiot to use that stupid magazine, but I knew he meant it when he said he was sorry. I didn’t care if it all started as a game for him, it was real now. We may have pushed each other’s buttons, but what he said rang true. He made me want to be a better person, too. He accepted me, all of me. And I wanted to be with him.
Mr. DeShane strode over and handed me a tissue. “I think he’s still outside if you want to catch him.”
I nodded and wiped my eyes. Racing out from behind the counter, I tore through the store and out the exit. He loved me for me. Not because of what career I wanted, what I wore, who my friends were. He wasn’t trying to change me into something I wasn’t. There weren’t any ultimatums with his feelings. And I loved him. All of him. I loved his dirty humor, the way his fingertips felt as they skimmed across my skin, the way I didn’t have to be someone else while I was with him. Ryan didn’t make me a complete person—I realized that. I was already whole, but I wanted him as my equal, my teammate as I navigated through all these changes that were about to happen.
Ryan was just about to get into his car when I grabbed his arm. “Did you really mean that?” My voice came out forced, my throat thick and scratchy.
“Mean what?” He turned around. His lips pressed into a narrow line and his eyes glistened in the sun.
My voice cracked when I said, “That you love me.”
He nodded, taking my hand in his. “Yes, Jules. I love you. I started falling the moment I met you.”
“I love you, too.”
He gave me a wobbly smile and said, “Thank God.”
I pulled him into a hug, kissed him, and quickly pulled back. “Ryan?”
“Yeah?” He smiled, tracing his finger along my lower lip.
“P.S. You rock my world.”
Epilogue
Ryan
Six months later…
“Okay, ready?” I whispered into her ear.
“DeShane, what is this?” Jules giggled.
The room was dim, candles lit. Hell, I even set the table.
“Surprise,” I said, removing my hands from her eyes.
She stared a moment in stunned silence. “Oh. My. God. Is this what I think it is?”