He leaned over the counter, moving into my personal space, trying to get me to look at him. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I called to apologize to Lex, not get back with her. I had to do that so I could forgive myself. So that I could move forward with dating you.”
I thumbed a stack of papers on the counter, pushing away the queasiness in my stomach. Just being in the same room as him made me want to upchuck. “Save it for someone who cares.”
He touched my arm, the warm pad of his thumb stroking over my skin. “I think you do care. I know that I care. You mean everything to me, Jules.”
Even though my body ached for his touch, I pulled my arm away. A small part of me wished this was true, hoped we could work this out, but I wouldn’t let him see that. I scoffed and pushed a few pieces of paper around on the counter. “How can you say that? I saw the magazine. I’m not dumb.”
He threw his hands in the air and grunted. “Yes, I used that fucking magazine. Stupidest thing I’ve done. And if we’re being honest, I started the summer wanting a fling. But it turned into more.”
“I don’t care.” I was not going to let this guy dictate my happiness. I didn’t need him, even if my fingers itched to reach out and touch him. I deserved better. Not someone who still talked to their ex and used me as a summer fling experiment. “You talk a good game, Ryan, but I’m done playing. Just leave. I don’t have anything else I want to say to you.”
He chewed on the inside of his lip and those baby blues pleaded with me. I wished I could forget the past day, but I couldn’t. Words only went so far.
I folded my arms over my chest, staring him down, trying to convey I was so over him. Couldn’t he see he’d done enough damage? My heart couldn’t handle much more—not when it took every ounce of strength to stand up to my mom earlier.
Instead of leaving, he reached for the store phone, picked up the receiver and pushed a few buttons. What the heck? I asked him to leave and he takes the time to make a personal call? What part of leave didn’t he understand?
This was all too much, too soon. Yes, I was all about me being the key to my own happiness, but I needed at least another day to wallow. Maybe curl up on the couch and eat a sleeve of Oreos. But I was at work and had to put on my customer service game face, something proving harder by the second. A tear spilled down my cheek and I quickly dabbed my eyes on my shirt sleeve. “What are you doing?”
The music cut out as he pulled the receiver to his lips. What the hell was going on?
“If you won’t talk to me…if you won’t believe what you mean to me, I guess I’ll have to show you.”
Oh dear God. What was he going to do?
He cleared his throat and muttered fuck under his breath—and then started belting a song at the top of his lungs. Or at least I thought it was a song. If I’d heard this on the radio, I’d think it was someone in pain or dying. I couldn’t tell what song it was, the lyrics a jumbled, nervous mess. Once he got to the chorus, I realized what he was singing.
98 Degrees, “I Do Cherish You.” He was about an octave and a half too low, completely off-key. Nick Lachey would be weeping right about now. But Ryan was singing me a love song. In public.
If it were possible, Ryan sang even louder when he hit the next chorus, his voice cracking on the high notes. Amazing, I didn’t think anyone was more tone-deaf than me. Customers came out from the aisles and stared at him as his singing filled the store. A little kid clung to her dad, her poor little ears being assaulted. The guy had major cojones. I gave him that. Most people wouldn’t put themselves out there and act like a complete idiot in public.
Ryan hopped up on the counter as he transitioned into the third chorus, messing up a few words here and there. His dad stood in the doorway of his office staring at Ryan. More customers had congregated, watching Ryan make a complete ass out of himself.
He finished the song in a completely different key. It was quite possibly the worst singing I’d ever heard, but so damn cute, my heart momentarily forgot it had been crushed by him.
He coughed into the crook of his arm and pulled the receiver back to his mouth. “I’d like to make an announcement. When I met Jules Carmichael, I saw the sign.”
“Stop!” I reached to press the button to disconnect, but he grabbed the phone base and held it to his chest.
Why was he doing this to me? Cheesy nineties songs wouldn’t change what he’d done.
“What? Do you need more than words?”
“Ryan.” I shook my head, tears freefalling down my cheeks. Stop crying. He doesn’t deserve one Goddamn tear.
“I love you, Jules. I know I screwed up, but please, if you give me another chance, I promise, I’m yours.”
He hung up the phone, cutting off the intercom message. A few more customers had gathered around. Ryan’s dad hung back, staring at Ryan making an ass out of himself and me crying like an idiot.
What could I say? Did he really mean it when he said that this was real to him? Could he be that one person who could stand by my side as I started my new life? “Ryan.”