“Just stop.”
“You know, Eric would never talk to me this way.”
“Mom. Please, listen to me. I am not Eric. I’m Jules, your other child, the one who doesn’t want to be a doctor, no matter how hard you try to push her in that direction. I want to be an athletic trainer. When I return in the fall, I’m going to change my major.”
“I won’t support this.”
I pressed my lips together and nodded. A small part of me knew this might be the case. My mom had a my way or the highway mentality. Any side routes or avenues were unwelcome speed bumps in her life. “I accept that, but I’m still going to do it. This is my life, and I need to do something that makes me happy, not what makes you, Dad, or Eric happy. I’d really love your support, but I’m doing this for me.”
“You’ll be cut off, without a dime. You’ll be on your own.”
“That’s fine. I’ll find a way.” Even though this was completely terrifying, something became clear: I didn’t need her approval. I was free from her reign. Support or not, I was going to pursue the career I really wanted. The pressure in my chest lifted, and I sat a little taller.
I did it.
She pounded her fist on the table, losing her perfectly poised persona for a fraction of a second. She looked around the coffee shop to make sure that no one had noticed and said, “You’re making the biggest mistake of your life. Your father and I are the only ones who have been there for you and now you’re just going to betray us like this?” Her voice was a venomous whisper.
Who was this woman? If this was how Mom was going to treat me, it was time to peace out. I wanted no part of this. She’d just keep trying to tear me down. And I’d worked too hard to build myself up.
I pushed my chair away from the table, the legs screeching against the linoleum. I took one last look at my mother, aching for her to be kind and loving instead of giving me ultimatums. But if it came down to it, I had to put myself first, even if it hurt to push her away. “Hope you have a safe trip home. I’ve gotta get ready for work. Nice seeing you, Mom.”
She grabbed my wrist, her face flushed, eyes wide. “If you change your mind, we’ll invest in your future.” Her last attempt at a power exchange. And I wasn’t going to give in.
I shook my hand free from her grasp and stood up straight, looking down at her. “I won’t, but thanks.” I strode out of the coffee shop before she could say anything else.
Tears streamed down my face as I got in my car. I may never please my parents or live up to their expectations, but it didn’t matter now. I was my own person. I didn’t need anyone else to dictate my happiness. Not parents, not friends, not guys. Dr. Ahrendt was right.
Ten minutes later, I pulled into the lot of Office Jax and stared at the building. Work was the last place I wanted to be, but at least it would get my mind off the events of the last twenty-four hours. Bonus, Ryan wasn’t on shift today. I couldn’t believe I was actually going to tell him I loved him. At least I learned that I didn’t need him to be happy.
As I settled into my shift, I focused on the mundane tasks, blinking away fresh tears. Between last night and the fight with my mom, I was surprised I had any left. As I rang up a customer, I resisted the urge to swipe at my eyes. I grabbed the shopping bag and handed it to the gentleman along with his receipt. “Thank you for shopping at Office Jax, I hope we fulfilled all your office supply needs.”
A pang surged through my chest as I watched the customer leave, staring at the door. Who was I going to joke around with about the horrible music or cheesy slogans? Who would I tease about having a stupid unicorn on his ass? It was all just a game to him, I had to remind myself. You don’t need him.
Just as I was about to turn to the register to sort labels, Ryan breezed through the door, looking so handsome in a fitted black tee and jeans that it took everything in me to remind myself that I hated him. Player alert. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars.
I leaned against the register, looking away, hoping he didn’t catch the glossiness in my eyes. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that he’d crushed me. I may not have had it in me to give some snide remark, but I’d get the point across that I wanted nothing to do with him.
He strode up to the counter and before he could say anything, I blurted, “Ryan, I don’t want to talk to you.” I turned away, not wanting to look at him. I hated how much my voice shook, betraying my resolve. If I could tell off my mom, who’d had me under her thumb for years, I could definitely do the same for a guy I’d only known a month.