I looked at her out of my peripherals, still focused on the road. “What about me?”
She shifted in her seat, turning to me, crossing one leg over the other. “What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know.” Fuck that response.
She sighed and examined her pale pink nails. “Sometimes I feel the same way. Like I made decisions because of other people, not for myself.”
I looked straight ahead. It was easier talking about my failures when I didn’t look directly at her. “I thought after a few years of college, I’d have it figured out. Now, with the police academy coming up, I don’t know if I’m so sure.”
Out of the corner of my eye I caught her nod. She put her hand on my knee and squeezed. “The older I get, the more I feel like I have no clue in hell what I’m doing. I never really saw myself as a doctor.”
Then why would she be going through another five years of hell for something she didn’t want? “What do you want to be?”
“I’d really love to be in sports science, an athletic trainer, treating players.”
“Then why don’t you?”
She shook her head, her brows furrowing. “It’s complicated.”
“How is knowing what you want to do complicated?” I’d kill to be in her position. Then at least I’d be getting somewhere.
“It just is.” Her voice came out clipped, almost annoyed. “I thought we were here to talk about you, not analyze me.”
I let it go. Apparently her future was an off-limits topic. Fucking insane she’d drop that much money on a degree she didn’t even want.
We rode in silence for another twenty minutes. When all the stations turned to commercials, I said, “Have you been fishing before?”
“When I was younger. I used to fish every summer with my grandpa. He passed away five years ago. Haven’t been fishing since.”
Great. I was trying to strike up a conversation—leave it up to me to remind her of her dead grandfather. Good going, Ry. The creators of that stupid Cosmo article would be laughing their asses off if they could see me botching every one of their steps. Not that I needed it anymore. I genuinely wanted to know more about her, how she took her coffee in the morning, if she liked scary movies, if she liked me. And those thoughts scared the ever-living shit out of me.
She quickly added, “I’ve wanted to go since then, but no one really seemed interested in coming with.”
Who was this girl? My mind couldn’t compute. Every stereotype that I’d labeled her when we first met was completely wrong. Worked on cars, loved fishing, smart, and had the mouth of a sailor. She was the most kickass girl I’d ever met.
After we stopped at the local bait shop to buy Jules a fishing license, rent a couple rods, and buy worms, we pulled in to the reservoir. We rented a boat at the marina, throwing all our stuff on the tiny dingy, and cast away from the dock. The bay was fairly empty because it was a weekday, and the only people who’d be out here were tourists or college students who wouldn’t arrive until later to party.
Jules sat in the bow of the boat, her hair flowing in the wind. The sun was high in the sky at this point, forming a glow around her features. She was a Goddamn angel and, for today, I had her all to myself. I maneuvered the boat to the middle of the bay and cut the engine.
I handed her a fishing rod and opened the container of bait. This was always where I lost girls. Usually their upper lip curled and they shoved the rod in my face, unwilling to even try to bait the hook. Lex wouldn’t ever go fishing with me. Period. I should have known better when she scoffed at my idea the first few weeks we dated.
Jules cleared her throat. “You need me to bait your hook or something? You’re looking a little pale.”
I couldn’t help but crack a smile. “You can do anything you want with my hook.”
She pressed her lips together, trying to smother a grin, and shook her head. “How about you put your hook where your mouth is. Whoever gets the biggest fish today buys dinner.”
“You’re on.”
I hadn’t touched her since the other night, and my body physically ached with an intense need to wrap her in my arms. I’d never felt this way about a girl before, one that blew all my preconceived judgments to pieces.
She grabbed a worm without flinching and deftly baited it on the hook. My heart about jumped ship, and that was when I knew I was in too deep. My heart was fucking pounding. Over a girl baiting a hook. Not just any girl, this girl who was the most Goddamn beautiful, infuriating, sexy thing I’d ever met. She pushed back. She never put up with bullshit. And she deserved someone so much better than me, but my inner selfish bastard wanted to hang on to her brightness for as long as I could.
“Earth to Ryan.” She waved her hand in front of my face. I snapped out of my messed up thought process. “Already getting cold feet? A little performance anxiety?”