“Lauren… have we been on the same date? You haven’t cracked a smile, haven’t had a good thing to say about anything…. are you having a good time?”
“I… well… listen, Avery… I am nervous as hell, and I’m not at good at dating. I get anxious, and then I get all….”
“Negative Nancy?” I offered.
She gave me a tight smile. “Yes, exactly. Tori has tried and tried to help me through it. She offered to send me to a therapist, but I didn’t think it was that bad… it’s not that bad is it?”
“It’s terrible.” She flinched at my blunt assessment, but I didn’t feel bad. I wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings but somebody needed to tell her since she wasn’t listening to Tori.
“So I’m guessing there won’t be a second date then, huh?”
I shook my head, but smiled. “No. You’re a beautiful woman Lauren, really. But the complaining is something I can’t handle.” We parted ways amicably, and after suffering through a meal with a gorgeous woman with a bad attitude, I went home and logged into the Matched website to send Tori a message.
“Tori… what the hell was that? - MatchedAce”
Not thinking she would be available so late, I went to take a shower before I returned to my office to review some paperwork for Ignition. Glancing up at my computer screen, I noticed one of my open tabs was blinking, notifying me that my message had received a response.
“Oh no! What happened? - MatchedTori”
I sighed, barely wanting to think about it to type out the response.
“Bad attitude. A complainer, about every.single.tiny.little.thing. She was driving me bananas! - MatchedAce.”
“Oh man. Your compatibility was high, and she was great for you based on the criteria you gave me, but when it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. Willing to try a second date? - MatchedTori”
“HELL NO! - MatchedAce.”
“Well, don’t hold back, Avery. Tell me how you really feel! - MatchedTori”
“Sorry. Just wasn’t feeling it. Gorgeous, like you said, but that attitude was a complete turn off. Complete. - MatchedAce”
“Got it. Anything you’d like me to change about your criteria? - MatchedTori”
“Yeah. She needs to be VERY positive. - MatchedAce”
“Oh, well the next girl on the list is already perfect. Her name is Stacey, and she’s a very carefree girl. I think you’ll hit it off! - MatchedTori”
I didn’t respond. She said the same thing about the last girl. So far, I wasn’t impressed.
— & —
So Tori was right about me hitting it off with Stacey, and strangely, I was a little annoyed about it. She was smug when she called me into her office after our date, confirming that both of us were interested in seeing each other again. She gave me a short rundown of Stacey’s likes and dislikes, then tasked me with planning our date. I decided to spend a morning with her at a thrill park in Dallas, and Tori agreed it was a good fit.
I thought I was an adventurous, fun person, but Stacey was a true daredevil, though her appearance said different. She was petite, with creamy caramel skin, dimples, and a pretty, youthful face that defied her declaration that she was 32 years old. She didn’t break a sweat when we got strapped to a windmill and spun 165 feet in the air, but I felt like I had been inside of a dryer. Being flung 70 feet into the air in less than two seconds, attached to a bungee cord didn’t faze her either, but it had me wondering why I hadn’t thought to increase the amount of my life insurance policies before I came on this date. If I didn’t know better, I would swear I actually saw her yawn when we were being slung around on our stomachs at 60 miles per hour, over a hundred feet in the air, while I was trying to convince the contents of my stomach to stay put. The only thing that got her blood pumping was the 16 story, 130-foot free fall into a net.
“Hell no.”