She snaps out of my hold with wide eyes and stands to her full five foot eight inches. Her face is hard, the softness she showed earlier completely erased.
“What’s wrong? You want to know what’s wrong?” she says with a shaky voice and cold, hard gaze.
I’ve never seen her like this. She’s furious. I reach for her again and she shoves my arms away. I step back.
“I’ll tell you what’s wrong, Jonah. I was told yesterday by my biological jerk-wad that he bred me for prostitution. Then, my boyfriend took better care of me than I’ve ever been taken care of in my life, just to turn around and break my fucking heart!”
I flinch at her curse. “Broke your heart?”
“Do you know what it’s like to go your entire life never being touched? Never being told that you’re loved?” She laughs and her lip quivers as she wipes her tears. “No one was ever there for me. Not when I was sick. Or sad. Never. Can you even fathom the effect that has on a person? They have a term for it. It’s called Failure-to-Thrive Syndrome.”
She exhales and her shoulders slump. “You want to know the first time I heard the words ‘I’m proud of you’?”
My heart cramps with every broken word.
“March 16, 2007. Sick isn’t it? I remember the exact day. I was fifteen years old. It wasn’t my mom or my dad who said it. It was Guy. My high school shop teacher.”
Her eyes glisten with tears. I picture a little dark-haired girl crying alone with no one to comfort her. My hatred for her parents roots deep in my soul. Even now, it’s not my Raven standing before me. It’s that sad little girl who desperately wants to be loved. Who craves the touch and comfort that only a parent can provide. I want to reach out and hold her, but her arms wrapped around her body in a protective shield.
“Then you come along.” Her voice is softer now and she meets my eyes.
I am undone, powerless against her pain.
“You hold me, protect me, worry about me . . . tell me you love me. And the sun shines on me for the first time in my life. I look beyond your past, your reputation, all because I’m so desperate for what you give me. I fell so deeply and madly in love with you I couldn’t see straight.”
I watch the clear waters of her eyes turn stormy and cold. “And then you find out what I really am and you run to her. Not even twenty-four hours after you left me warm in your bed, you go to her!” Her last words break with the cries that assault her body.
Her? I don’t have any idea what she’s talking about, but I hate myself anyway for hurting her like this.
“Raven, baby, you have to listen to me. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Her? Her who? I didn’t run to anyone. I’m right here with you.”
I brave a touch and wrap my hand around the nape of her neck. Bending down so she can look in my eyes, I flex my fingers into her skin. “Raven, look at me.”
Her eyes come to mine. The brokenness of her past shines through their aquamarine depths.
“I love you. You’re the only girl I ever want to run to.”
Her eyes narrow, but this time not in anger. This looks more like confusion. “But . . . I saw you. You were there at her club. I saw your truck outside in the lot.”
Shit. I study my feet, but keep hold of her neck. She knows I was at Zeus’s. She thinks I ran to Candy because of everything that happened with Dominick.
It upsets me that she doesn’t believe my feelings for her are stronger than what Dominick has planned. But I know that’s not what made her believe I would run to Candy so easily. Her lack of self-worth is ingrained. My hate for her parents festers and spreads.
I’ll explain, get on my knees and beg if that’s what it takes for her to understand. I’d do anything if it means I get to keep the lost girl I hold in my hand.
“I was at Zeus’s Playground tonight, but it wasn’t for the reason you think.”
Her face is still hard, but the muscles in her neck relax a fraction.
“Blake and I had a meeting there.” I pause a second to make sure she’s still with me. “We met with Dominick.”
“Jonah, why?” She steps close and grabs the wrist of the arm that’s holding her. “He could have hurt you. Are you okay?” She runs her hands over my chest, arms and up to my shoulders, searching for physical damage.
My skin tingles at the touch I was afraid I might never feel again. I take advantage and wrap my arms around her waist to pull her closer.
“Yeah, I’m fine, but can we talk about this inside?” I look up towards Raven’s studio and picture trying to cram myself into her bed. Nope, not happening. “Or better yet, can I take you home now? I’ll explain everything there.”
Her eyes drop to her feet, and she sucks her bottom lip into her mouth.
Please say yes.
She sniffs and wipes the tears from her cheeks. “Okay.”