“Raven, this is the guy I was telling you about, Vince. Vince, this is my best friend, Raven.” Eve introduces us like we’re at a dinner party.
Vince leans forward, sucking Eve’s earlobe into his mouth. Her eyes flutter closed and a soft moan escapes her lips. His eyes lock on mine as his lips peel back over his teeth, and he sinks them into her ear.
Eww.
“Nice to meet you, Raven. Eve has told me a lot about you.”
That’s why he looked at me so familiarly yesterday. He’s been feeding information about me to Dominick. No doubt Eve has told him everything. I groan as I think of all the things I’ve told her, things I confided in her about my life.
I bet he’s the one who told Dominick that I had fallen in love with Jonah, that I was staying with him every night, that I was a virgin.
Vince is Dominick’s Ass-In-The-Hole.
He had this planned: having Vince stalk me, violate my personal life to gain leverage against me, taking advantage of my best friend, her loving heart and beautiful body, to spy on me. I lock eyes with Vince, but talk to Eve.
“I just needed to make sure you were okay. I hadn’t been able to get ahold of you and I worried.” The words flow without emotion. My mind churns, processing how wrong this is. “I’ll let you guys get back to it.”
“Wait, are you sure you’re okay?” Her words come out on a moan as Vince cups her breast right in front of me. I have to get away from here.
“Yeah, I have to go.” I run to my car, wishing I had the strength to tell Vince off. His blatant attempt to make me uncomfortable worked.
“I’ll call you tomorrow, Rave!” Eve yells and I slam my car door shut. My hand hits the lock button and I fire up the engine, my tires squealing as I pull away.
Shaking with uncontrollable force, I grip the wheel tighter. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse.
I want to tell Jonah about Vince and wrap myself in the safety of his strong arms until the hurt goes away. I crave his touch like an addict. It doesn’t make any sense. He’s with another woman. How disgusting can I be? Pining after a man who has lied and cheated?
I hate myself for what I am and how I feel. I’m Dorothy, skipping happily down the Yellow Brick Road of self-loathing. Blasting the radio, hoping the comfort of the music will be a decent substitute for the man, I grimace. Skeeter Davis sings “The End of the World,” and for once, I understand her pain.
Waves of despair wash over me. The negative emotion, from my childhood until now, bears down. I want it to end, desperate to release my tortured soul from this doomed life I was born into. I would gladly give up this fight. Maybe Jonah and I aren’t that different. I’ve been a fighter all my life too. But I don’t fight against people. I fight against feeling worthless, ashamed, and unlovable. I’m sick of it, and at this point, I’d welcome death.
Morbid thoughts swirl in my head when I hear the faint chime of my phone. I dig it out of my backpack, grateful for the distraction.
One new text.
Raven, I need to see you. Tried calling but no answer. Call me ASAP. xJ
He must have called me when I was at Eve’s door. But why? What could he possibly want after a night with her? My phone rings in my hand.
In no shape to drive while talking on the phone, I pull over and check out the caller ID. Tears spring to my eyes as I read the words, “Jonah Calling”.
I should throw my phone out the window and go home, but I can’t. The pitiful girl in me wants to hear his voice. And why is he calling me now? The phone continues to ring. He could be calling to confess, to end things officially. Or . . . what if he’s changed his mind?
Hope creeps back in, an energy that ignores my misery.
I have to know.
I squeeze my eyes shut and press the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Baby, hey.” I relax against the soothing tone of his words. How did I think I could live without this? “I need to see you. Are you at Eve’s?”
“Oh, um, no, she uh, had a date. I didn’t want to intrude.”
Silence.
“Jonah?”
“You’re at your place? Alone?” I hear the accusation in his voice, chasing away the calm. Bitterness burns in my chest, squashing optimism and reviving my broken heart.
How dare he act like I’m a child. He was at a strip club. With Candy!
“No, I’m not home. I’m out. Why?” My clipped words come out harsher than I intend, but oh well.
“Where are you? I need to talk to you.”
“You’ve got me on the phone. So talk.”
More silence. I wait.
“Raven, what’s going on with you? You sound, I don’t know, pissed or something.”
Is he joking?
“How was your meeting?” I say, my voice laced with acid.
“It was good.” He draws out his words cautiously.
Yeah, I bet it was.
“Oh, yeah? Good, huh? I bet it was. I bet it was real good.” The sarcasm in my voice is so obvious I sound completely ridiculous.
“That’s it, Raven, where the fuck are you? I don’t know what’s going on, but this attitude you’re throwing is pissing me off.”
“Oh, God forbid.”