Fin rolled her shoulders, feeling a cold sweat break out on her brow. Reaching towards her dashboard, she turned the air conditioning down.
“I’m on my way, okay?”
“Alright, sweetheart. See you soon.”
Fin’s hands shook on the steering wheel as the speedometer climbed, her little car—unused to travelling at such high speed—shuddering wildly beneath her.
“Slow down, Finny.”
“Stop it, Jake!” she shouted. “You’re not really here. Don’t do this now!”
Ryan, don’t leave. I’m coming. Please don’t leave before I get there.
The RAAF base airport was crowded with soldiers and family, but Ryan stood alone, not wanting to intrude.
“I don’t want you to go.”
His fists clenched by his sides. The words had slipped out of their own accord. Ryan was supposed to be strong enough for the both of them, yet Fin was the one who stepped back, her spine straight as she told him it was too late.
“Ryan!” His head turned swiftly. “Ryan!”
Julie was waving as she and Mike made their way through the crowd towards him. His eyes were frantic as he searched behind them, his heart leaping as he looked for Fin, but he didn’t see her bright, tousled blonde waves anywhere in the sea of army green. Idiot, he thought, swallowing disappointment. She didn’t even know you were leaving today. Why would you expect her to miraculously appear and happily wave you off?
Julie reached his side and he leaned down as she wrapped him up in a hug. He buried his head briefly in the motherly embrace before he stepped away.
He turned to Mike’s outstretched hand and took it in his own. Mike tugged and soon he was wrapped in a solid hug by the only man that had ever been a real father to him. Mike slapped him on the back before pulling away.
“You didn’t let us know you were leaving, son.”
What was he supposed to say? I’ve left your daughter, but hey, I’m heading back to war, so come see me off? He would be lucky if Mike didn’t turn around and punch him in the damn nose.
“I wasn’t sure …” He rubbed a hand across his brow. “Fin and I …”
Tears filled Julie’s eyes and Ryan sighed heavily.
“We know,” she told him and his jaw locked tight. “Fin told us about the program, about how adamant you were for her to accept it. It just shows us how much you love her to put her future above everything else like this. We can’t tell you both what the right thing to do is, but Ryan, honey, we just want you happy. Don’t you think you finally deserve some happiness for yourself?”
“I am happy,” he told them and mustered a smile. “I love being in the Army. I don’t think I could ever do anything else but this.”
“That’s not the kind of happiness I was talking about,” Julie muttered.
“Leave him be,” Mike told Julie gruffly and looked at Ryan. “How about a coffee?”
Ryan nodded. “Sure.”
As the three of them sat down, Julie rummaged through her bag and handed over a bunch of cards. “These are for you.”
Ryan thanked her and sifted through them quickly. There was one from Mike’s parents and Julie’s mother, Jake and Fin’s cousins and family friends. He tucked them away carefully when they finished their coffee, and adrenaline spiked through his system when the announcement came for their flight to board.
As the three of them stood, Julie grabbed at his hand, panic flaring in her wide eyes. “You can’t leave yet.”
He looked at her. “What?”
“It’s Fin.”
Ryan’s brows drew together. “What about Fin?”
“She’s on her way here.” Julie checked her watch before meeting his eyes. “She should have been here by now.”
“She knows I’m leaving today?”
Mike nodded. “She does now. Julie spoke to her just after we arrived and told her.”
Julie already had her phone out and dialling as Mike spoke. “She told me she was already on her way to see you when I rang.”
God. He needed to see her, bury his head in her hair and breathe her in. Nothing had ever soothed him and at the same time set him on fire the way she did.
“She’s not answering,” Julie told them after leaving a message.
The flight announcement came again. All around him, family clung to their loved ones and tears were wiped away.
“I can’t …” Ryan turned to face the both of them. “I have to go.”
Once again he was wrapped in warm hugs. “I’m sorry. Tell her I’m sorry. Tell her …” His chest tightened until he could barely speak.
Julie gripped his hand firmly and squeezed. “It’s okay, Ryan. I’ll tell her.”
He looked to Mike and lifted his chin. “Sir.”
Mike nodded. “Son.”
With one last search over the crowds, Ryan turned and strode towards his troop. Glancing over his shoulder, he caught Julie, her face buried in Mike’s chest, her shoulders shaking. His eyes burned as he kept walking, disappearing from their view.
Chatter was loud and boisterous, emotions running hot and high as the long line of soldiers congregated on the tarmac. Monty stood in front of Ryan and Kyle stood behind him, where Jake would normally stand, talking the loudest of all.