Puffing out a breath, she lowered her legs and sat on the couch like a civilized person and not one completely agitated by a pain-in-the-ass jerk who’d just handed her over to another man. “I did try to tell you not to come by.”
“I also didn’t believe you when you said you were fine, since it was Tommy who called me.”
The rat bastard. “That one shocked me, too,” she admitted.
When she’d called Brody back after Tommy left this morning, she’d known he wasn’t buying any of her reassurances. And she couldn’t bring herself to admit what had motivated him to call Brody. That he just wanted to get away from her.
She had finally convinced Brody she wanted to take a nap because she really wasn’t in the mood for company. But all it had done was buy her a few hours. Brody had knocked on her front door about an hour ago, and had pretty much watched her stalk around the house ever since.
“Going to tell me what happened?” he pressed.
Should she? She scrunched her nose, studying him. “We’re friends, right?”
“I’d like to think so.”
All right. Going over this repeatedly in her head all day hadn’t gotten her anywhere. She needed some outside perspective. And he had helped her last time they’d talked.
She shifted toward him on the couch. “Okay. I’ve got a problem.”
“Obviously.”
“Tommy kissed me. And things got…heated.” Her skin warmed as she remembered exactly how heated.
“Then he totally freaked out, and now I’m not sure if I’m regretting what happened and want to leave well enough alone, or if I want to push him to see what might happen next.”
His head tilted slightly to the side. “Why would you regret it, Jules? Haven’t you been in love with the man most of your life?”
“Yes. But I’ve also been very rational when it comes to him. And that rational part is blaring an air raid siren, telling me to leave it alone.”
“Why?”
“If we do this, everything changes, and there is no going back.”
“Isn’t that the way it already is?”
“I thought so when I believed the attraction was mutual. Then he kissed me, and…and everything else happened…and I realized I must be wrong. He ran practically screaming from the room, Brody. So I’m pretty sure I can still escape this intact, if I do it now. But if we go any further and we really can’t make it work…I lose him. If that happens, it may destroy me.” She held up her hands. “I’m worried about me. Is that selfish?”
He was silent for a moment. “No. It’s not selfish. You and Tommy have been a part of each other’s lives for a very long time. I think it’s natural for both of you to be scared to change that. But there’s a problem with your rational thinking.”
“What’s that?”
“You’re in love with him. And no matter what, or how rational you believe you are, there will always be what-ifs. And this what-if will eventually eat you alive. If you don’t see this through, you’re going to look back on this moment and always wander how it would have been different, if you’d just taken the chance.”
Lord, she had never thought of it like that. She’d thought only of losing Tommy, and had never looked at the possible consequences from the other side of the coin. To be honest, it was still hard to let go of that thinking.
“What if we do go ahead, and it ends up being something I look back on and regret? He’s my best friend, Brody. I can’t see my life without him in it.”
“All right, the counterargument to that is, what if you and Tommy are supposed to be together as a couple? What if this is the start of your relationship together? What if you don’t try, and the two of you never find anyone else?” When she opened her mouth to voice a rebuttal, he held up his hand. “I’m not making light of your worries. They are real, and could very well be the outcome. But there is another side of this scenario. And that side could possibly bring a lifetime of happiness.”
She peered at him, letting his words sink in for a long moment.
He was right. She didn’t necessarily like it, but he was right. “And if it doesn’t work out, I’ll at least finally know for sure, right?”
“Right.”
She let out a breath. This was a terrifying road she was about to venture down. She could very well end up with her heart shattered in a million pieces. Even worse, she could lose her best friend forever. But she had to stop thinking that way, stop looking at only the negative. Because if this went in the opposite direction from her worries, a whole lot of positive would happen.
“So you think I should just go for it?”
“I would. But you said Tommy freaked out. Did he say anything?”
“No. He honestly just jerked away from me as though he suddenly realized who I was, and then bolted from the room. Didn’t really say anything to me this morning, either, other than he called you to help me and that you would be better for me anyway.”
“Did he?” There was a slow, interested edge to Brody’s tone. “Hmm.”
“What?”
“Just seems Tommy is going to need a little more prodding than I realized.”