Chapter 10
The next morning, Julie cracked open her bedroom door and sneaked into the living room, trying not to wake Tommy. She’d gone ahead and taken a sick day.
She and Tommy needed to have a long talk, and she wasn’t giving him the chance to escape her.
After his freak-out last night, he had locked himself in his bedroom, leaving her to go back to hers, where she’d proceeded to lay awake mulling over what had happened between them, wavering dangerously between hurt and puzzlement.
Wondering why he’d looked so horrified before he’d run off.
He’d been totally into what was happening, of that she was certain. Heck, he’d been more than into it.
The man who’d tugged her on her back then compelled her legs apart when she hadn’t parted them wide enough for him had been overwrought with lust. Tense lines had grooved his face as he’d rubbed himself against her over and over. And his cock—how big and hard could a man get? The thought of it thrusting inside her made her shiver with wicked desire.
Just the small sample of him she’d had last night convinced her that sex with Tommy would be dirty-good, raw, and totally exposed. And it would be like nothing she’d ever experienced before.
Dear God, she had never been more turned on in her life. She’d almost found release from the sheer intensity of him.
That thrilled her as much as it frightened her.
The fear was coming from a place of self-preservation. She’d already lost her heart to the man, but what if she lost her body, too? She may not have found anyone to replace Tommy in her heart, but she did have physical needs she succumbed to from time to time. And her encounters had been…satisfying. At least she’d thought they’d been.
Funny, until last night, she had always believed she’d had pretty good sex. Apparently not. Tommy had made her realize how very wrong she was, and he’d only just begun to demonstrate what he was capable of. Once she’d had him inside her, she had no doubt her definition of good sex would be permanently altered, and anything else would pale in comparison.
What was worse? Winding up alone and remaining ignorant of absolutely amazing sex, so that mediocre sex would still be good enough? Or winding up alone, knowing how mind-blowing sex could be…and never finding it again?
Jeez, talk about a crap choice.
As much as she would love to think of her and Tommy having something more than they’d always had, it was hard to envision it actually happening. She’d spent so long seeing their relationship for what it really was, not how she wanted it to be, that she wasn’t blinded by the romantic notion that just because this unexpected mutual attraction had blossomed, they’d find a happily-ever-after.
She wished it would be that easy. But she’d seen too much, experienced too much with the man to be so naive. They lived two very different lives, and she really couldn’t see him being happy settling down.
Maybe he’d prove her wrong…but it was hard to overlook the glaring evidence of the past fifteen years since he started dating.
Sighing, she fed the dogs, then made herself a bowl of oatmeal and eased down on the couch to eat. A few minutes later, she heard the click of Tommy’s door opening, then the pad of his feet on the hardwood.
Her stomach fluttered in both excitement and anxiety. How was he going to act toward her now? She would just die if he looked at her with disdain.
When he stepped into the living room, he froze, and she saw him swallow. Not the best reaction, but at least he didn’t do an about-face and go back to his room.
“Morning,” she said.
“Morning,” he mumbled, then hurried toward the kitchen.
She let out a frustrated breath. “Tommy?”
He stopped but didn’t turn to look at her, and her frustration grew. She didn’t know how to handle this Tommy—how to talk to him, or even begin to. It was like she was dealing with an entirely different man than the one she’d known most of her life.
And she was, wasn’t she? The man in the room with her now wasn’t her friend. He was a stranger, and she hated the distance between them.
“I think we should talk,” she said.
A long moment of silence followed before he asked, “Are you feeling better?”
“Why?” she hedged.
“Thought I’d look at a couple of rentals today. My insurance check arrived. Think it’s time to move on.”
Okay. Wow.
So now he was in a rush to move out? “Y-You’re not going to stay home with me?”
“Looks like you’re moving around fine.” He still wasn’t looking at her.