A gust of air whooshed out of him, and he was damn close to giving her another taste of his wicked mouth if she didn’t stop. She’s been drinking. The reminder helped…a little.
She ran her finger from his lips down his chin, between his pecs, over his abs, and then cupped a whole handful of him and rubbed. A groan slipped out, long and low, as his body stiffened right along with his cock. Fuck. Me. He couldn’t have moved away from her kneading fingers even if he’d wanted to. Which he didn’t.
One minute. He’d enjoy the feel of her hands on him for one more minute, then he’d stop her.
“Yeah, you were hard just like this, too,” she said as she pressed into the length of him, ripping another groan from him. He tried to smother it and failed miserably.
Latching on to her wrist, he started to tug her hand away, but froze when her other hand slipped between her own legs, stealing his ability to move. He watched, spellbound, as she began to rub herself.
He’d give anything to replace her hand with his right now. Make her scream again. Taste her again.
So, why don’t you?
Because she deserved better than him.
“Then I felt you here, Tommy. Probing. Getting ready to thrust into me. I was so fucking wet and ready for you. And then you left me. You left me. ”
She dropped both of her hands and Tommy released a stuttered breath as she put some space between them.
“Do you want to know what I’ve been doing all week?”
No, he didn’t think he did. In the mood she was in right now, God only knew what might come out of that tempting mouth of hers.
“I’ve been fucking my vibrator. And guess what? It’s pissing me off. Why? Because I have a perfectly good real cock right there”—she pointed to the bulge in his pants—“that promises to seriously rock my world, but you won’t let me have it. I’d say that’s the definition of mean, wouldn’t you?”
He swallowed. It should be illegal for Julie to say the words “cock” and “fuck,” because watching her lips form around those dirty words made him want to get dirty. Goddamn it, he should have left while he had the chance. Or even better, should never have come inside.
He didn’t need to hear all this. Doing right by her was hard enough without hearing her say how much she wanted him. He stepped forward, taking her arm. “Julie, you need to go to bed. You’ve had too much to drink and have no idea what you’re saying.”
She yanked her arm away and scowled at him. “To hell with you. I am perfectly aware of what I’m saying, Tommy Sparks. You left me all alone and whimpering for more. You just walked away while I had my naked ass up in the air, begging for it. What the hell, Tommy?”
There was a world of hurt in that last question that punched him right in the heart. He really hadn’t thought about how his actions might have felt to her. He’d just been thinking about doing the right thing.
Not wanting to hurt her had been the reason he’d stopped. But he’d hurt her anyway, and that killed him inside.
So it was time to be honest.
“Julie, I love you. You are my best friend. I can’t treat you the same way I’ve treated every other woman in my life. I won’t. Do you understand that?”
“Treat me like what? Like you want me so badly you’re almost out of control? Every woman wants to make a man feel like that. Jesus, Tommy, it’s hot watching you get that turned on.”
He shook his head. “You don’t get it. You deserve a man who can take his time, caress you, just simply love on you for hours and hours. I’m not that man. It’s just sex to me. There are no emotions involved. It’s all about the physical, the pleasure. I won’t do that to you.”
She studied him for a long time. “Are you actually telling me that anything between us would only be physical, nothing more?”
“Considering the way I’ve been with you so far, the way my baser side just takes over… Yeah, it’s going to be physical. If I can’t slow down with you—someone who means the world to me, someone I want to treat special, and tried damn hard to treat special, but failed—then, yeah. I really don’t think I’m capable of anything else. I’m just like my mom, Julie. You know how she was. I’m the same way.”
She appeared appalled. “You are not your mother.”
“Aren’t I? I’ve never had a relationship. Never wanted a relationship. I go through women the same way she went through men. I seem to be just as incapable of feelings as she was.”
Julie’s jaw worked. “Your mother was a heartless bitch, Tommy.” He didn’t even flinch at her sharp tone. She’d said those exact words many times in the past. “You do love,” she insisted. “Don’t you ever compare yourself to that woman again.” Eyes narrowed with unreadable emotions, she studied him again, then nodded once. “Okay, fine. We keep it physical. And we both go into it knowing that physical is all it is.”
Was she insane? Bringing sex into their relationship would mean the end of them. Of their valued friendship.