Holding the camera up to his eye, he sets the flash and starts fidgeting with the camera again. He repeats this a few times, then tells me, “I’m gonna take a few test shots to get the shutter speed right, okay?”
I nod my head and watch him as he leans in close to me, his camera up to his eye. The loud clicks of the camera startle me slightly, and my body tightens as I flinch. I’m hyperaware of everything around me as I lie here in the dark.
He reaches over me and picks up a pillow. “Here, lean up,” he says and I push my chest off the bed as he places the pillow under me. “I just need a little more curve to your spine. Just lay down and relax.”
He kneels back down and moves in close to me with the camera back up to his eye. “That’s perfect,” he mumbles, and I begin to hear the fast clicking of the camera. The flash pulses in pops of light in the dark room. And before I know it, it’s dark and quiet again. The bed dips back down as he sits next to me, untucking my shirt from my bra and pulling it back down over my back.
Bracing his arms on the mattress on either side of my shoulders, he hovers over me and lowers himself to kiss my cheek.
“Thanks,” he says with a soft rasp.
I shift to my side, and he lies next to me, pulling me closer to him. He lightly brushes his lips against mine before pressing into me. Weaving my fingers through his hair, I pull him even closer. My stomach starts to flutter, and an overwhelming need for closeness takes over. Being with him like this makes me want to open myself up. I feel safe in his arms and the feelings that come with it are intense. Feelings I have never had for anyone else before. I want to be close to him, but I’m so uncomfortable with myself. I worry I’ll embarrass myself if he touches me in a way I can’t handle. I worry that I’ll be a disappointment to him.
Rolling me on my back, he begins to trail his warm damp kisses down my neck and along my shoulder. I grasp onto his arms and feel the flexing of his muscles under my hands as he moves across my collarbone. He reaches down, placing his hand on the side of my thigh, and squeezes as he starts to glide it slowly upward. My breath catches, and I quickly clamp my hand around his wrist. Pulling his head back, he studies my face, and I whisper, “Sorry.”
“You don’t ever have to be sorry.”
I gently nod my head.
In a whisper, he says, “God, you’re beautiful.”
?????
“So, you have to tell me what’s going on with you and Ryan,” Roxy says as we move around, making drinks for the line of people waiting.
“I don’t really know.”
“You like him, right?”
I look at her as I steam some milk for a customer’s latte and she prompts me, “Right?”
Snapping the lid on the cup, I walk over and hand it to the girl who’s waiting on the other side of the counter. Roxy steps next to me as she hands a drink to another customer. We walk back over to the machines and I finally admit, “I do.”
When she looks at me, I clarify, “Like him. I do.”
A sincere smile slowly creeps across her face and I become embarrassed. “Stop!”
“Oh, come on Candace! Give me a break here. I’ve known you for almost three years and you have never shown an interest in anyone. Let me enjoy this.”
“You’re embarrassing me.”
“Sweetie, everything embarrasses you. Get over it,” she says with a sincere smirk.
As we continue to fill drink orders, Roxy begins asking a multitude of questions, all of which I avoid answering. When the last drink is made and the shop calms down, we both take a seat and relax from the Monday morning rush.
“Well, even though you won’t tell me anything, I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks. Now will you stop?” I tease.
“For the time being, I’ll stop,” she says with a grin.
My phone chimes from under the counter. When I retrieve it, I see I have a missed text from Ryan.
Your photo from yesterday is almost finished. Touching up the lighting.
Getting off work in 30 min. Can I stop by?
Yeah.
“Ryan?” Roxy pries.
“Didn’t you just say you would stop?”
Laughing, she teases me again. “So secretive.”
“I’m going to the back to refill the syrup bottles. Yell for me if it gets busy.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she says as she waves me away.
It’s nice to be able to joke around with Roxy again. The tension has definitely lightened in the past few weeks, and I know the reason for that is waiting for me at his loft right now.
I can’t contain my smile when I think about us in his bed yesterday. The way my skin tingles when he kisses me, the way I soften when he holds me, the fluttering I feel when he whispers his words to me. Even though it’s all so new, it’s also so comforting.
I could tell he was disappointed when I didn’t spend the night with him, but he understands that I don’t feel comfortable being there every night. Although I love being with him, I’m still scared about moving forward.
When the bottles are refilled, I walk back into the store and put them back on the shelf. I start to gather my things and clock out.
As I’m walking out the door, Roxy can’t help herself when she says loudly, “Tell your hot-ass boyfriend I said ‘hi.’”
I roll my eyes at her as I open the door to leave.