Whack—I straight up slap the shit out of him. “Get out!” I whisper-scream this time.
“No. Shit, sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” He runs his hand over his face, up and down, trying to scrub out the anger. “I was wrong to say that, but you don’t get to just drop a bomb and throw me out. I deserve better than that, Laney. I deserve an explanation. I’m not leaving; slap me again if you want, but you’re telling me everything.”
“You ever talk to me like that again, Evan Mitchell Allen, and it’ll be the last time you ever speak to me, you understand?” I’m so mad I might take him up on the offer to slap him again.
“Yes, I understand, and I’m sorry, Laney. That’s all I do anymore is apologize to you. What happened to us?” His question comes out choked.
“Life, that’s what happened to us.” I’m not sure exactly what it even means, but I’m completely sure it’s the right answer.
“Ain’t that the truth...so tell me, please, Laney? I’m dying over here.”
“No, I haven’t slept with him, but you already knew that. I also haven’t let him shove his face in my cleavage. You know me better than that.” I quirk a brow and wait for him to make the connection. I honestly hadn’t planned on ever throwing it in his face, but I’m thinking Evan threw down the gauntlet already.
His face pales and his eyes dart away from mine. Finally he whispers, “What do you want to know about it?”
“What do you want to tell me?”
At a couple spots in his story about initiation, Bulldog Babes, parties, seeing the picture on my phone, I actually think he’s going to cry, but he doesn’t. It was obvious I couldn’t possibly make him feel any worse about himself than he already does, and that’s not my goal here, anyway. At least he knows now that I know, so he can stop with the holier than thou act for the rest of our Dane conversation.
“I have kissed Dane, but that’s all...well, physically anyway. He did buy me a necklace.” I take a deep, deep breath. “And, well, he, uh, he sorta took me to Disney World for my birthday.” 3, 2, 1...
“WHAT?!” He jumps up from the couch this time, arms flying out, chest heaving.
“Evan, again with the volume! I’m gonna quit talking if you can’t keep it down.” I scowl at him; this is probably way too serious a conversation to be having while my dad is asleep, but going outside is out, we’d just wake up the whole neighborhood.
“You went on a trip with a guy you barely know? Who are you, Laney? And why is this guy going all out if you’ve only ever kissed him?” He hisses the last part; it’s not a pretty side of him. I knew he’d really flip about the trip and honestly, it was pretty out of character of me, but I just know I’m safe with Dane...just like I know I’m safe with Evan.
“Well, I don’t know, Evan, maybe he sees something in me. You do wonderful things for me all the time and I don’t put out for you!”
“Ah, babe.” He sits back down and runs his hand down my arm. “I know you’re worth it, but he doesn’t. He barely knows you. I just question his motives. If he knows you’re mine, he’s a douche for making a play.”
“Actually, he made it clear he wouldn’t make a play if I was with you, and I’m not, remember? He didn’t touch me on that trip, Evan. He really did it just to be nice.”
“Bullshit, we didn’t agree to go kissing other people! I may have done some stupid shit, but I haven’t kissed anyone! And you can bet I’m not taking trips with anyone or buying them jewelry. Damn, Laney, what is this guy to you? Have I lost you?”
I can see the tears in his eyes and it splinters me. My sweet, sweet Evan. This boy, not so long ago, represented all that was good in my life, all that I could ever want. Now I’m ripping his heart out.
“I don’t know, Evan. All I know is I love you, always.” I move closer and wrap one hand around his neck to stroke his hair and make him feel the weight of my words and solace. “If you were there, we’d be together, just like we planned and wanted. But you’re not there, and he is and he’s good to me. I like him, and yes, I’m attracted to him. He wants me, with no romantic ties to you, but I told him very clearly that I do love you and I won’t hurt you.”
“But you are hurting me. Nothing could hurt more; nothing.” He lifts my chin, demanding I look at him. “I love you, Laney and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you. I know you were just lonely and I don’t blame you. I haven’t been perfect, either, but I will be. For you, I will be.”
He pulls me into his strong arms and holds on tightly. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it feels cathartically wonderful in his arms. There’s nowhere in the world like Evan’s embrace. It’s here and only here that I find total acceptance, unconditional love, and a man’s desire for only me.