Part of me starts to pull him back to me, but I know he’s right, we’re quickly approaching the point of no return and my body is very ready but my heart and mind are not.
He moves off me to sit and I welcome the moment of reprieve to gather my senses. I sit up and smooth down my hair and clothes, still unable to look at him. I’m being way too lax with Dane way too soon. I have to take back control of this situation. I stand, going to grab a bottle of water out of the mini fridge. I stay on that side of the room as I dive back into our discussion.
“Dane, I wouldn’t feel right about being with you until I’ve talked to Evan. In fact, I’ve already done way too much. I don’t expect you to understand, but that’s what I have to do.”
He stands and moves to me in a sleek, predatory gait. “Okay, you talk to him, but promise me you won’t do anything with him, please. Promise me he won’t get these,” he runs his fingertips over my lips slowly, “or this,” he brushes his nose airily down my neck, along my throat, across my shoulder. “Promise me,” he hums.
“I promise,” my voice husky as my head falls back. “That’s my good girl.”
My panties are soaked with his words, his proximity, and when he leans over and runs his tongue from my shoulder to ear, I think I’ll promise him anything he asks.
I worry the whole drive home about my impending talk with Evan. This is it, do or die time. I can’t do this to either of them or to myself a minute longer. If I wasn’t driving, I’d be making a list right now, organizing my thoughts, so I decide I need to call someone to go over everything. I don’t feel comfortable talking about it with Bennett. She dates Tate so she’d be biased to Dane and it’d put her in a very uncomfortable position. I decide to call Zach since he’s so levelheaded and has proven himself to be clutch.
“Hey, Laney, what’s up?”
“Driving home and driving myself crazy. I need some help sorting my thoughts and maybe some advice. You busy?”
“Nah, girl, never too busy for you. Whatcha got?”
I first make him promise that this conversation will stay between the two of us, which I already knew, but the confirmation makes me feel better. “Okay, so I’m on my way home to see Dad. Evan will be there this weekend. I need to tell him about Dane and I don’t know what to say. I know Evan and I agreed to cool off and be just friends, so technically I’m not doing anything wrong, right?”
“Technically you’re not, but a technicality is just that, Laney, an excuse to clear your conscience. It doesn’t seem to be working since you’re calling me. Something’s off or you wouldn’t be feeling guilty.”
“You’re right, I know you’re right. What will make it feel okay? Maybe it won’t ever feel okay. Maybe it’s not. Should I just forget about Dane? A-and—”
“Laney!” Zach interrupts my rambling. “Slow up, girl, and listen to me. You have to decide why you feel guilty about Evan. Is it because you love him or simply because you haven’t told him? And here’s the biggie Laney—if Evan went to Southern, which one would you choose?”
And there it is. The million dollar question. Which one do I choose?
“I don’t know and I don’t know if it’s because Dane is the one here or if it’s actually something more. I’m not real good at this whole boyfriend thing, obviously. How do I figure it out if they’re never in the same place?” I’m asking the guy currently volleying twins; I’m so screwed.
“I wish I could tell ya, sweetie, but I can’t. I know you’ve been honest with Dane, so do the same with Evan and see what happens. That’s all you can do, really, that or let them both go. Or you could always choose door #3 and pick me,” he laughs.
“Very funny, Zach. I’m thinking you’re juggling plenty on your plate right now.”
“I know, right? It’s fun as hell, too, lemme tell ya. That’s the thing though; we all know not one of us is emotionally invested, yet anyway. You, though, Laney, you couldn’t do just for fun if you tried. You’re already in deep with both of them and I’m pretty sure they’re both in love with you. Somebody’s gonna get hurt any way you go, Laney, so just make sure you’re absolutely positive before you crush one of them.”
“So you’re saying to string them both along until I decide? I can’t do that.”
“Hell no, I’m saying be honest with Evan. Dane already knows the score, Evan deserves that, too. They’re big boys; let them decide after that what they want to do. Maybe they’ll walk away and tell ya to fuck off or maybe they’ll fight for ya, but at least they’ll both be making the decision with their eyes open. It’s okay for you to be confused, Laney, that doesn’t make you a bad person. Just be honest, Laney. Don’t stray from that beautiful heart of yours okay?”
“Dane made me promise not to kiss Evan this weekend. How the hell am I supposed to pull that off?” I can’t help but laugh. I can’t believe me, of all people, is in this situation.