“Fine, I’ll drive. But I get to pick where we go.”
“Deal. See yah later, whore.”
Laughing at her comment, I hang up and lean back against the rough brick of the building. A shiver courses through me, and for the first time since I came out here, I feel cold. Stay the night with me? Brady’s words ring in my head like he’s right here speaking them.
I wish I didn’t have these problems or fears, but I do. Ever since Nate died, I’ve changed. There’s no point in fighting them. This is the person I’ve become, and I have to learn to accept that. He was my everything and my future. Unfortunately, he was taken from this earth earlier than he should’ve been. I know what we had was once in a lifetime. Well, at least I know you don’t get two soul mates anyways, so I’ve learned to cope the only way I know how, by satisfying the need within. If I can feed my need for sex and keep my emotions out of it while doing so, then this is the best I’ll ever have.
Dropping my cigarette to the ground, I step on the remnants and head back in. Things are slow, so I work on the next week’s schedule before I get the bank deposit ready. It doesn’t take me long to get everything done. Before I leave, I check in with Sasha. “Hey, girl, do you mind if I run to the bank real quick?”
“Nope, go right on ahead.” I smile gathering everything I need, then remove my apron. I go to head back into the office, but Jason calls me over to him.
“What’s up?” I ask.
Covering his microphone, he whispers, “There’s some chick in the drive through that’s pissed that we’re all out of croissants.”
“Did you offer her one of the new chocolate-filled ones?” He shakes his head. “Then do it.”
I glance outside before leaving, waiting to make sure that he doesn’t need me. The sun is peeking through the clouds, which is deceiving to say the least. I know it’s not hot today.
Jason turns to me with a thumbs-up, and I grab my coat.
Are you still coming home for Mom’s birthday?
I text my brother, Bain, as I try and decide what to wear to class. It’s snowing like a bitch so I know it needs to be something warm. Looking through item after item, I decide on leggings with a big, tan sweater and my favorite Ugg boots. Pulling my brown hair into a low ponytail, I apply a thin layer of lip-gloss. Then I head downstairs to grab a bite to eat on my way out, and my phone vibrates just as I enter the kitchen. It’s my brother, of course.
We have our last game on Friday before break. Then I’ll hit the road.
“Good morning, honey,” my dad says kissing me on the cheek. “Who are you texting?”
“It’s Bain.”
“Tell my son I love him,” my mom chimes in.
“I will, Mom.”
“What do you two feel like for breakfast?”
“I’m just gonna grab a granola bar, Mom, I’m not hungry.”
“That’s nonsense. You are going to eat with your father and I, like we do every day.”
I roll my eyes. Jesus, she’s so controlling. “Fine. I’ll eat whatever you’re making.
“How do blueberry pancakes sound?”
“My favorite,” my dad says, and I sit next to him at the bar. “Are things still set for Bain to come home?” he asks me whispering.
I nod my head and hand him my phone, showing him Bain’s last text. My mom is going to go through the roof when we surprise her.
I’m not sure how I’m going to get through this dinner without any pills, but I need to be able to have a conversation that I remember and to be as alert as possible. My coach is very perceptive and I know he’ll see right through my bullshit. Hopefully a strong ass Americano will sober me up enough to be able to pull my shit together.
He called and said some NBA scouts were coming to visit the university for a game against one of our big rivals. He really wants me to be there, meaning he wants me to play. I’ve been waiting for this day all of my life – my dreams of playing in the NBA have always been my drive. But since losing Kinsey, I just don’t have the fire anymore.
“Eight fifty-seven,” the cashier requests.
I hand him a twenty and wait for my drinks.
“What’s up, Dad?” I answer my phone? grabbing the change back.
“Bain, are you almost home? I really need some help with your mom.”
“Yeah, I’ll be there soon. Is everything okay?”
“She’s pissed that I won’t let her drink.”
“Jesus,” I mutter. “I’ll calm her down. Sorry, Dad, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“It’s not your fault. See you soon.”