“I’m not asking you to walk away from anything.”
“But you are. You’re asking me to leave my job,” she snaps and climbs off of my lap, her ass hanging out of that shirt, and I instantly regret opening my mouth. I should have just left without her and dealt with my own insecurities.
Rage consumes me, almost more for my own stupidity than anything else. I did this. Then I remember my mom always telling me when I fucked up, Make it right, Bain. It’s not too late, it’s never too late.
Bolting out of the chair, I go inside. Arion is nowhere on the main level. Sprinting upstairs, I find her dressed and tossing her clothes into her suitcase. “No, baby. Come on, let’s talk about this. You’re blowing things way out of proportion.”
“Am I? I think I heard you pretty clearly. I’ve told you again and again that I’m not going to leave my job, but you won’t drop it. I can’t turn over my life to you like I did with Nate. You know how that ended and I won’t put myself in that situation again.”
Stepping in front of her, she stares at me like the strong woman that she is. I rub my thumb over her plump lips, holding her chin. “Don’t you see what you mean to me? Please don’t take that away.”
Staring down at her, my heart is erratic. She’s about to leave and give up on what we have, all because I can’t be away from her. It hasn’t been long, but goddammit she means the fucking world to me. She doesn’t answer me, so I take her hand and place it over my heart and then rest mine on hers trying to feel the rhythm. Tears wash out the corners of her eyes and she pulls away from me.
“Please take me home, Bain.”
Stepping to her again, I say, “You are home. Anywhere I am is your home. Don’t you fucking get it?!”
“Don’t yell at me.”
“You’re going to throw this all away because you’re scared. I’m not him, A. I’m not going anywhere or getting deployed. I’m sorry I don’t want to be away from you.”
“Bain, don’t fucking go down that road.”
“Arion, please. Don’t you see how fucked up we used to be? Don’t make things go back to the way they were.”
“You did this. You’re not going to control me. Things were fine how they were. Now you’re trying to change everything.”
“Do you think I can control this? Because if you do, then you’re dead wrong.”
“I don’t fucking know what to think, but I wanna go home. Now!”
Nodding my head repeatedly, I finally back down. She doesn’t give a shit about how I feel. She’s obviously too tortured and burdened by the past, just like I was. She’s pulled me out of it; I just need to figure out some way to pull her from this darkness too. I need to make her see the light. Right now, there’s nothing I can do. She won’t listen and wants to leave. Maybe if we get on the road, she’ll hear me out when we are trapped in the car for five hours.
“Yeah, James, I fucking heard you.”
“Jesus, are you all right?”
“I already told you once, I’m fine. If you could please just stick to emailing me like I asked, you wouldn’t have to deal with my bullshit.”
“This is the last call for all passengers boarding flight 238 to Phoenix.”
“That’s me, I gotta run. I’ll email you later.”
I hang up with James, feeling a bit regretful for how I went off on him. But Christ, the man is worse than an overbearing mom and my nerves are shot. It’s been four days since my fight with Arion and I haven’t heard a word from her. She refused to see my side of things on the drive home, and right now I can’t change what happened. As much as I just want to be with her, I can’t. One of the worst parts is that my career has me here and I have to take that seriously. Checking my messages, she still hasn’t responded.