Emancipating Andie

chapter SEVENTEEN



Chase stood in his living room, giving his apartment the once over. He had straightened up as much as possible, especially in the kitchen. Andie assured him that his lack of kitchen supplies and cookware would not be a problem; she’d be bringing over everything she needed, so he at least wanted to provide her with a neat space to work in.

He was just about to wipe down the stove one more time when he heard a knock on his door, and he smiled, turning to open it.

“Hey,” he said, his smile dropping as soon as the door was fully open.

Shit.

He righted his expression a beat too late, smiling again. “Colin. Good to see you, man.”

He knew Andie hadn’t mentioned anything about their relationship to Colin. They had only spoken twice since their break up, and both were very formal conversations, mostly just about returning each other’s belongings. Regardless, he wasn’t exactly sure how he was supposed to play this.

“You busy?” Colin asked.

Shit shit shit.

“Uh,” Chase said awkwardly, running his hand through his hair and thinking of how he could possibly get Colin out of there before Andie showed up. He was fully aware that eventually Colin would find out they were together, but he didn’t need to know just how soon after their break up it happened. “No, I’m not busy. What’s up? How are you?”

“I’ve been better.”

Stupid f*cking question, Chase thought.

“Yeah, I heard. Tyler told me,” he said.

Colin stood there, his expression unreadable. He didn’t look sad, or pissed, or confused, or hurt. He just…stood there.

There had never been a more awkward silence.

F*ck it, he thought. He had to say something. Invite him in. Anything. He could text Andie, tell her to stall.

“You want a beer or something?” Chase said, taking a step back into the apartment.

“No. I can’t stay. I was just in the neighborhood.”

Another silence, made more awkward by the fact that Chase didn’t believe him for a second.

“I went to Andie’s to get some of my stuff today,” Colin said, and Chase shifted, rubbing the back of his neck. He had no idea what he was supposed to say to that. He was totally unprepared for this, and he should have known better.

“I figured it would be better if I went when she wasn’t home,” Colin added.

Chase exhaled slowly. “I’m sorry, man.”

Colin laughed then, a dry, humorless laugh as he tilted his head to the side. “Why do people always tell you they’re sorry when something bad happens to you? I mean, it’s not like you did anything, right? So what are you sorry for?”

Chase kept his expression smooth, his eyes on his friend.

“Anyway,” Colin continued. “I was at her place, and I found this.”

For the first time, Chase realized he held something in his hands, and he looked down just as Colin unrolled it and held it up.

It was the shirt Andie had fallen asleep in the night they first made love. The one he let her take home because she said it was the most comfortable shirt she’d ever worn. The one she looked so adorable in. His old, worn-in soccer shirt.

With McGuire emblazoned across the back.

He looked up and met Colin’s eyes.

The next thing he knew, a blinding pain seared across the left side of his face as his back slammed against the fridge, the loud thud followed by the sound of breaking glass as a few of the bottles he had above it crashed to the floor.

He straightened up immediately, his fists clenched at his sides and his body poised to spring, but he made no move to retaliate.

“Oh come on, McGuire,” Colin shouted. “Don’t start trying to be a good friend now! Take your f*cking shot!”

Chase’s eye was throbbing, a pounding ache that he knew would feel ten times worse once the adrenalin wasn’t coursing through his veins. His muscles were so tense they were shaking, his fists tightly clenched at his sides, ready to defend himself if Colin came at him again.

But he couldn’t bring himself to hit him. He had no right.

Colin laughed angrily, shaking his head. “So let me get this straight. You can swoop in on my girlfriend when I ask you to look out for her, but you’re above taking a swing at me? What kind of f*cked up logic is that? Take your shot!” he yelled, his voice shaking with rage.

“Colin,” Chase said, his voice measured. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

“Oh, and just how was it supposed to be? Were you supposed to keep f*cking her behind my back? Well I’m sorry your shit got blown up Chase, really I am. My heart bleeds for you!”

Chase shook his head. “It wasn’t like that. Look, I know you don’t want to hear this now, but nothing ever happened between us when you two were together.”

“F*ck you!” he interrupted, taking a quick step toward him. “Do you think the order of operations makes a difference to me? You selfish prick! You float through life, doing whatever the hell suits you, no responsibility, no concern for anyone but yourself. And I’ve always known that about you. I just never thought you’d screw me over. I loved her, Chase! Do you love her? Or are you just going to keep her around for as long as she entertains you?”

Chase stared at him, saying nothing. There was no way to answer that question without making this worse.

“You worthless piece of shit. Your father was right about you.”

A rush of heat flooded Chase’s body as pain stung his chest, rivaling the pain of his eye, and he took a small step toward Colin.

He didn’t know how much longer he could contain himself after that.

“You need to leave,” Chase said, his voice tinged with the anger he felt welling in his stomach.

Colin shook out his hand, looking at Chase with disgust. “When you f*ck this up, when you break her heart, I hope you can live with yourself.” He tossed the shirt in Chase’s face before he turned and left, slamming the door behind him.

Chase stood there, his breathing labored and his body trembling as he stared at the door; after a stunned minute he turned, squatting down to collect the broken glass from the floor. He lifted one of the half broken bottles, jumping up suddenly and hurling it against the wall.

“F*ck!” he shouted before he dropped his head back and covered his face with his hands.



Chase wasn’t sure how much time had passed. He was lying on the couch holding a frozen pizza to his left eye, and he didn’t have it in him to lift his head and check the clock. His entire body ached, and he rolled his neck and flexed his free hand, trying to get the tension out of his muscles.

Colin’s voice kept playing over and over in his mind, telling Chase his father had been right about him. He couldn’t stop hearing it, and with every passing second, his body coiled tighter.

The hammering behind his eye was relentless, and Chase pressed the pizza more firmly against it, grunting roughly as the oversensitive swelling ached in protest.

He’d been trying to stifle the anger that had been churning in the pit of his stomach ever since Colin stormed out of his apartment, but the effort was exhausting. He couldn’t figure out what infuriated him more: the fact that Colin had said those words to him in the first place, or Chase’s realization that there was actually validity behind them.

He could just picture his father’s face, the condescending sigh as he shook his head and asked him what kind of man would do what Chase had done.

Chase felt his jaw lock as his muscles tensed again, amplifying the throbbing in his left eye.

He heard the sound of someone approaching his door, the rustling of bags combined with the clicking of heels, and he exhaled a curse. If he had been thinking rationally, he would have called her and postponed this. He was in no mood to speak to anyone right now, let alone enjoy a romantic dinner.

“Hey,” he heard her say, followed by the sound of crunching glass. “Oh, damn it. Chase? Why is there broken glass all over your floor?”

There was a beat of silence before he heard the grocery bags drop. “Oh my God! What happened to you?” she cried, her voice full of panic as she hurried toward him. She sat on the edge of the couch, reaching over to take the pizza off his eye, and her hand flew to her mouth as her eyes went wide.

He knew what it looked like a little while ago; swollen shut, the skin pulled tight over the purpley-pink lump. He doubted it looked any better now.

“What happened?” she asked with alarm, and he looked up at her, exhaling heavily.

Chase watched her eyes change as the realization finally hit her. “Oh my God,” she whispered. “How?”

He knew exactly what she was asking, and he gestured halfheartedly at the coffee table. Andie turned, catching sight of Chase’s crumpled soccer shirt in the center of it. “He found it when he went to your place to pick up his stuff,” he mumbled.

It was a moment before she turned back to him. “I just don’t understand this,” she said, her voice pained. “It was my decision to break up with him. My choice. You didn’t do anything. You never even touched me when I was still with him. Why would he do this to you?”

Chase laughed bitterly. “Well what did you expect him to do? Shake my hand? Congratulate me on nailing the girl he wanted to marry? Offer to compare notes?”

She jerked her head back slightly, looking somewhat wounded. After a stunned second she closed her eyes and took a small breath before opening them, trying to straighten her expression.

“Does it hurt?” she asked gently, reaching out to touch him.

Chase moved his head out of her reach as he put the pizza back on his eye. It bothered him that she had given him a free pass for that last comment, that she was being so kind to him right now. He deserved to suffer a little.

“It’s just a black eye, Andie. Believe me, he’s hurting much worse than I am.”

She dropped her hand back to her side, lowering her eyes. “You hit him?”

“No, I didn’t hit him,” he scoffed. “We both knew I had this coming. He had every right to do this. Why the hell would I hit him?”

“I just thought…you said he was hurting much worse than you.”

“Yeah, I meant because his heart just got ripped out of his goddamn chest by two people he trusted. Not really something a frozen pizza can take care of.”

She dropped her eyes again, and Chase saw her chin tremble. “I didn’t mean for this to happen,” she said, her breath catching before she added, “I’m a terrible person.”

He laughed humorlessly at the very sentiment he’d been chastising himself with for the past half hour. “Well then, we really are a match made in heaven, aren’t we? He should be thanking his lucky stars he’s rid of us.”

Andie lifted her eyes to his; there was a hint of anger behind them, warring with the hurt that had been swimming there since she’d realized Colin had done this. She shook her head slightly before she whispered, “What is wrong with you?”

He laughed softly before sighing. Did she really not know the answer to that?

“The same thing that was wrong with me the night I met you in Justin’s wine cellar, and that first morning we drove to Florida, and the night I offered to give you a piano lesson. The same thing that will be wrong with me tomorrow, and next month, and next year.” He took the pizza off his eye and turned toward her, his voice impassive. “I’m an a*shole, Andie.”

She stared blankly at him until he turned away from her to look back up at the ceiling again, and Chase felt the couch dip as she stood.

“Yes, you are.”

He closed his eyes and brought the pizza back to the swelling, and he heard a slight rustling sound accompanied by footsteps; his door opened and then slammed shut, and Chase listened as the clicking of her heels in the hallway faded away until there was nothing.



This time, Chase didn’t have the luxury of being oblivious to time; he felt every second, every minute that passed after the door closed behind her.

It was seven minutes of deep breathing before his heart rate slowed and bordered on regular again. It was ten minutes before the pizza had thawed completely and the wrapping started to come apart in his hands, and it was another five minutes before he even gave a shit. After he’d gotten rid of the soggy mess that remained, it was twelve more minutes of cursing the clusterf*ck of a self-fulfilling prophecy that had destroyed this entire evening. He had been so bothered by the fact that Colin called him out for being a prick that he turned around and acted like one to the person who deserved it the least.

Chase was sitting up on his couch now; the throb behind his eye had diminished some and his thoughts were much clearer than they had been a half hour ago. He just kept wishing she hadn’t shown up at his place when she did. If she had come now, he wouldn’t have been such a snarky, insensitive jerk. In his current frame of mind, he would have been able to act like a human, to comfort her, to reassure her.

To take care of her, the way he promised her he would.

“Shit,” he mumbled to himself, running his hand down his face before he stood.

He had thought he wanted to be alone tonight, but as he stood in his living room looking over at his kitchen floor, at the grocery bags strewn where she had dropped them in the broken glass, he realized how badly he wanted her there.

With a heavy sigh he walked over to the mess in the kitchen. He was going to clean up, and then he was going to call her and ask her to come back. He’d beg her if he had to. He didn’t even care if they had dinner anymore. He just wanted her lying next to him, with her hand on his stomach and her head on his chest and her leg thrown over his thigh. He loved lying with her that way; she fit so perfectly against him, like the universe was reinforcing the fact that they were exactly where they belonged.

As Chase knelt down and used a piece of cardboard to sweep the shards of glass into a pile, he took slow, deep breaths, exhaling the bitterness and shame that had been consuming him since Colin’s visit. With every inhale, he focused instead on what it would feel like when Andie was with him again.

Because that feeling was what made all the other shit tonight worth it.

After he had swept up all the glass and wiped the floor down, he put Andie’s groceries away and went to the bathroom to check out his eye one last time.

“Shit,” he exhaled, bringing his fingertips to the lump. It had changed from dark pink to a bluish-purple, and he was still unable to open it fully. It was going to look like hell for the next few days.

Chase sighed as he closed the light and walked out of the bathroom. It was going to be extremely difficult to take Andie’s mind off what had happened with a constant reminder literally staring her in the face.

He grabbed his cell phone and hit the button to call her, closing his eyes when it went straight to voicemail.

He should have expected as much. He wouldn’t want to talk to himself either if he were her. Still, he hit the button to try again, already walking toward the closet for his shoes. And when he heard her voice, asking him to leave a message, he hung up and grabbed his keys before heading out the door.

She could ignore his calls all night, but she wouldn’t leave him standing outside her door for very long. He was sure of that.

Chase jogged down the steps and through the lobby, stopping short as soon as his feet hit the pavement outside.

Her car was still parked in front of his building.

He pulled his brow together and turned, looking as far down the block as he could before he turned and looked the other way. There was nowhere for her to go here, no restaurants or stores or anything within reasonable walking distance. Where could she have gone without her car? His neighborhood certainly wasn’t the type of place someone would want to take a walk around to blow off steam.

Chase decided to make a lap around the block anyway, in case she had taken off in her frustration without really thinking about her surroundings.

But after about ten minutes, he was back in front of his apartment building with no sign of her. Andie’s car was still where it had been when he left, and Chase eyed the surrounding area one more time before he turned to walk down the block toward his car.

He had only taken two steps before his foot came down on something that skidded beneath his weight, causing him to stumble forward.

“What the hell?” he mumbled, turning to look behind him.

His eye immediately landed on the small silver ring of keys attached to a purple swirl in the shape of a heart.

He’d recognize those keys anywhere. He’d helped her when she had locked those keys inside her apartment. He’d used those keys when driving her car.

Chase bent down and scooped them up before eyeing the block again, this time with something like panic in his chest. With the keys clutched in his fist, he dug his phone out of his pocket and dialed her number again.

It went straight to voicemail.

“Shit,” he hissed as he walked briskly to his car and jumped inside.

There had to be a reasonable explanation for this. She must have dropped her keys. She must have walked home. She was probably curled up on the couch right now, eating ice cream and lamenting her douchebag of a boyfriend.

Chase held on to those thoughts as he sped to her apartment. He called her number again and again as he drove, keeping one eye on the road and the other scanning the sidewalks and surrounding areas. Every time her voicemail picked up and Andie’s lilting voice asked him to leave a message, his heart beat a bit faster in his chest.

When he pulled into the parking space in front of her building, he already knew she wasn’t home. He could see the window of her bedroom and her living room, both inky black and still, but he ran up the steps to her front door anyway, knocking loudly as he tried to catch his breath.

“Andie?” he called, knocking again. “Andie, I swear, I’ll leave if you want me to, but if you’re in there, just let me know that you’re safe.”

Chase stood there for a minute, listening to the silence before he knocked once more. “Andie? Please just let me know you’re in there. You don’t even have to open the door.”

Again, nothing.

He whirled around, fisting his hand in his hair as he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

Where the hell could she possibly be?

“Damn it,” he said before squeezing his eyes shut. He didn’t know any of her friends’ phone numbers. He didn’t even know the number to her restaurant.

He could go there, he thought, but he didn’t want to freak her parents out. They didn’t know about him yet, so how could he just burst into their restaurant and introduce himself by asking if they’d seen their daughter, who he just happened to send running off in the night because he was a thoughtless a*shole?

He kept his eyes on his phone as he scrolled mindlessly through his contacts.

And then he saw it.

Tate, Colin.

Would she have called Colin?

Would she have gone there?

She had been feeling so guilty about everything that happened earlier that Chase could see her doing something like that. He could picture her going to him, trying to make things right between everyone again, even though Chase knew it was a lost cause at this point.

“F*ck,” he sighed to himself, taking a deep breath before hitting the button to call Colin.

It rang five times before going to voicemail.

Chase dropped his head back and brought both fists to his eyes before he began pacing the hallway in front of her door. He hated the feeling he had right now, this helplessness. He didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to do, but he needed to find her. That much was clear.

Chase hit the button to dial Colin again, and this time it went to voicemail after one ring.

“Son of a bitch!” he yelled, ending the call and heading toward the stairs.

He had to go there. It was his only option. He couldn’t go back home until he figured out where she was and knew she was okay.

He made it to Colin’s in half the time it would have normally taken him, so he didn’t really have time to focus on the stupidity of what he was about to do. Chase knocked on Colin’s door, and when it swung open, his friend’s face went from shocked to blank in the span of a second.

“Is she here?” Chase asked.

Colin stared at him. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I don’t know where she is,” Chase said desperately. “Is she here?”

Colin’s jaw flexed as he continued to stare Chase down. “Unbelievable,” he muttered before he went to close the door on him.

Without thinking Chase threw his hand out, stopping the door, and Colin’s eyes glinted with rage.

“Move your hand. Now.”

“We had a fight.”

A moment of disbelief overshadowed Colin’s anger. “And what, you’re coming here for sympathy? You really are a piece of work.”

Colin went to shut the door again, and this time Chase slammed his hand against it with such force that it swung out of Colin’s hand and hit the wall.

“She might be hurt!” Chase shouted, and Colin froze. “Please,” he said, his voice softening significantly and bordering on desperate. “Please…just help me.”

Chase couldn’t decipher the expression on Colin’s face, but when he spoke, his voice was firm but controlled. “What do you mean she might be hurt? What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Chase said. He explained what had happened in a rush, and Colin listened, his expression unchanging.

Finally, after what seemed like hours of silence, Colin turned and walked into his apartment, leaving the door open.

“Colin?”

“I’m gonna make a call,” he said curtly.

Chase took two tentative steps into his friend’s home, watching as Colin grabbed his phone and hit a few buttons before bringing it to his ear.

“Tracey?” he said. “It’s Colin. Is Andie with you?” There was a silence before he said, “No that’s okay. If you hear from her, can you just have her give me a call? Thanks.”

“Shit,” Chase said under his breath, running both hands up through his hair. “Where the hell is she?”

Colin looked down at his phone for a second before he hit a few buttons again.

“Hey, Danielle. It’s Colin. Is Andie working tonight?” A pause. “Oh. Well did she stop by the restaurant at all?” Another pause as Chase listened to the sound of his own heartbeat thrumming in his ears. “Alright. If she comes by the restaurant, can you ask her to give me a call? Thanks.”

As Colin ended the call, Chase began pacing in front of the door with both hands fisted in his hair. There was nowhere else she could be that made sense. With her car still at his place. And her keys on the floor.

He heard a strange rasping sound and realized it was his own breathing.

Chase forced himself to stop walking as he bent at the waist, bringing is hands to his knees as he tried to calm himself down, and he noticed Colin staring at him with the oddest expression on his face. There was something else behind the anger in his eyes. Disbelief? Scrutiny? Shock?

Whatever it was, he didn’t have time to analyze it. He grabbed his phone and started dialing.

“What are you doing?” Colin asked.

“Calling the cops.”

“Chase, they’re not gonna do anything. She’d have to be gone for twenty-four hours.”

“I don’t care!” he yelled. “I’m not just gonna sit here!”

Colin stood, running his hand through his hair as Chase explained the situation to the dispatcher. Fifteen minutes later, there were two officers at Colin’s door: a middle-aged woman, and a man who looked to be in his twenties.

Chase explained everything to them, about Andie leaving his apartment, about her car and her keys on the street, and how no one knew where she was.

As the young man jotted a few things down on a notepad, the middle-aged woman quirked her brow at Chase. “What happened to your eye?”

Chase licked his lips and glanced at Colin before he said, “It’s a long story.”

“Mm-hm,” she said, turning toward the other officer and motioning with her head.

“At this point there really isn’t anything we can do for you guys,” he said. “There doesn’t seem to be anything suspicious going on. People lose their keys all the time.” He glanced up as he closed the pad. “Give us a call if she doesn’t turn up within twenty-four hours.”

Chase shook his head in disbelief. “So I’m just supposed to sit here?”

“Can I ask what your relation is to the girl in question?” the middle-aged woman asked.

He glanced back at Colin before he said, “I’m her boyfriend.”

The woman nodded before she said, “And you?”

Colin stared at her for a moment before he said coolly, “I’m her ex.”

The corner of the woman’s mouth twisted up before she looked back at her partner. “And if you still want to report her missing in twenty-four hours, I would suggest you call someone who is of blood-relation to her and have them file the report.”

Chase looked back and forth between them in shock, and the young guy said, “Unless you’re married, live together, or have a child together, we can’t accept the report from you. Besides,” he said, smirking at his partner, “this whole thing seems a bit off to me. Like maybe a couple of ex-boyfriends are trying to find a girl that doesn’t want to be found.”

Chase opened his mouth to protest, but the woman held her hand up. “Have her family give us a call if she doesn’t turn up. Have a good night gentlemen,” she said, and the two officers turned and walked out the door, closing it firmly behind them.

Chase stood there staring at the door with panic and helplessness battling for control in his chest. After a stunned minute he reached forward and yanked the door open.

“Where are you going?” he heard Colin ask.

“I’m gonna drive around until I find her,” he said, but before he could finish the sentence, he heard Colin’s phone ring behind him.

He whirled around in the doorway, watching as Colin answered the phone.

“Yeah,” he said. “What’s going on?” Colin glanced up before he said, “She’s there?”

“Jesus,” Chase breathed, collapsing against the doorframe and closing his eyes.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

Chase whipped his head up. “What happened?”

Colin held his hand up before he said, “Alright, I’ll be there in ten minutes.” He ended the call before he said. “That was Tyler. He stopped by Ripley’s to pay his tab from this weekend. She’s there. He said I needed to get down there.”

Chase turned before Colin had finished his sentence, running down the steps and out to his car, starting it before he had even closed the door. He was vaguely aware of Colin getting into his own car as he drove down the street and made a sharp left, but the only thing he could concentrate on was getting to Ripley’s so he could see with his own two eyes that she was okay.

He pulled into an empty space at the end of the street that wasn’t meant for parking before he jumped out and walked swiftly down the sidewalk toward the bar.

As soon as he opened the door, relief flooded through him like cool water through his overheated veins.

She sat with her elbow on the bar, her chin resting heavily in her palm, and Chase was pretty sure her hand was the only thing keeping her head up at that moment. Her eyes were glazed and unfocused as her free hand sloppily played with the mess on the bar in front of her.

The pile of discarded lemon rinds.

Under any other circumstances, he would have smiled over her falling victim to his Lemon Drops once again, but the expression on her face was ripping his heart out. She had that little crease between her brow, and all he wanted to do was scoop her up in his arms and kiss her there until it smoothed away.

“Are you gonna take care of her?”

Chase hadn’t even heard Colin come up behind him. He glanced back at him before he looked at Andie again, her eyes falling closed for a beat too long before she opened them lethargically.

“Yeah. I’ll handle this,” he said, taking a step toward her. He felt a hand come down on his arm as Colin gripped him forcefully, spinning Chase back around to face him.

“No,” he said firmly, his eyes intense as they locked with Chase’s. He took a tiny breath before he said again, “Are you gonna take care of her?”

Only this time, his meaning was clear.

Chase felt the tension drop from his shoulders, and for the first time in a long time, he was able to look his friend square in the eye before speaking to him.

“Yes.”

Colin stared at him for a moment, the muscle of his jaw flexing as his grip on Chase’s arm loosened. With one firm nod, he released him fully before he turned and walked out the door, pulling it closed behind him.

Chase stood there for a moment, staring at the dark wood and the brass handle without really seeing. He heard the sound of Colin’s car door slamming followed by the sound of his car accelerating as he took off down the street, and Chase closed his eyes and lowered his head, taking a deep breath before he turned back toward Andie. She was licking the sugar granules off an old lemon rind as she stared blankly into space.

Chase walked toward the end of the bar, and as he approached her, her eyes slid over him and then away without the slightest sign of recognition. He took a steadying breath, thinking maybe he would be lucky and she’d be too drunk to remember she was mad at him.

But when he stopped in front of her, she shook her head. “Go away, Chase.”

“No.”

Her eyes flashed to his. “Fine,” she said, picking up one of the empty shot glasses as she tilted her head all the way back, trying to drain the remnants of a shot she’d already taken. After a few unsuccessful seconds, she slammed the glass back on the bar. “Then I’ll go.”

She turned away from him, grabbing her purse as she called out to the bartender. “Excuse me, Billy? Barney?”

Chase stifled a smile. “His name is Bailey.”

“Barney?” she called again. “Can I get one more of these?” she asked, waving an empty shot glass in the air as she tried to gather her purse with her free hand.

Chase turned toward Bailey, shaking his head imperceptibly as he moved his fingertips back and forth over his throat, and Bailey nodded once before he said, “Sorry sweetheart. We already had last call.”

“Fair enough,” she said before she turned and fumbled with the straps of her purse, trying to gather her things.

“You know what you don’t know about me, Chase?” she asked suddenly before she yanked the purse off the stool and looked up at him. “I love Lemon Drops.” She shrugged flippantly as she added, “I do. I am a liquor kind of girl.”

This time he couldn’t fight his smile. “I can see that.”

“And you wanna know something else about me?” she said, standing from the stool with her bag. She teetered but grabbed the edge of the bar to steady herself before she turned to him. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

She pushed past him as he said, “I can see that, too.”

Chase watched her attempt to storm out of the bar, stopping every few seconds to grip the back of a bar stool before she continued. He reached in his back pocket and grabbed his wallet, throwing some money on the bar and saluting Bailey before he followed her out the door.

After a few steps Andie stopped abruptly as she whipped around to face him, and he halted.

“And here’s something else you don’t know about me,” she said, only this time her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. “I am not a terrible person.”

Chase exhaled, his expression turning serious. “I know that.”

“No, you don’t, and you suck because you don’t!” she said, taking a quick step toward him and poking him in the chest hard enough to send him back a step. “You said we were a match because we’re both terrible, and I’m not terrible!”

Andie took a step backward before she continued, her voice trembling. “Because if I was, it wouldn’t be breaking my heart that he’s sad right now. If I was, it wouldn’t have been such a battle to let myself have you in the first place.”

Chase’s chest instantly tightened at her words.

“You’re right,” he said softly, taking a tiny step toward her. She immediately took a step back, stumbling slightly as the back of her foot slipped out of her high heel.

“And I shouldn’t have to explain that to you,” she said dismissively, the words running together in places as she tried to get her foot back in her shoe. “I shouldn’t have to convince you that I’m good.”

“You don’t have to,” he said, taking another small step toward her.

“You should just know!” she yelled, whipping her head up as she lost her grip on the shoe, her foot still half out of the heel as came down on the pavement. She swiped the hair out of her eyes before she shook her head. “I don’t even know who you were back there. I hate who you were back there.”

Chase nodded, taking a tiny step toward her. “Me too.”

“Because you’re not terrible either,” she said, trying to get her balance before she pointed at him. “I wouldn’t feel this way about you if you were.”

“Andie,” Chase said, and she shook her head.

“Why do you act like an a*shole if you’re not an a*shole? Why do you act like that?”

He closed the rest of the distance between them, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest.

“I don’t want you to act like an a*shole,” she said firmly before she pushed him away. He took a step back as she added, “And I don’t want to be happy that you’re here right now.”

Andie reached down to her shoe, her other arm flapping at her side as she tried to get her foot back in, and Chase stepped forward once more, steadying her before attempting to take her in his arms. She pushed him away again, but this time with less force.

“And I don’t want to love the way you smell,” she mumbled before she reached back down. With a frustrated huff she ripped her shoe off and dropped it to the sidewalk, standing unevenly as she crossed her arms and lifted her chin, looking up at him. She was trying so hard to be defiant, but her eyes were all vulnerability.

Chase stepped forward and bent down, scooping up her discarded shoe. On his way back up, he brought his arm behind her knees, knocking her weight out as he stood with her, cradling her against his chest.

She gripped the front of his shirt. “And I don’t want to feel this way when you hold me,” she said, all the fight gone from her voice.

Chase rested his chin on the top of her head as he walked toward his car with her in his arms.

“And I don’t want to be with you anymore,” she mumbled against his shirt.

He tilted his head down, pressing his lips to the crown of her head.

“Did you hear me? I said I don’t want to be with you anymore,” she whispered, tightening her grip on his shirt as she buried her face into his chest.

“Close your eyes, Andie. We can talk more when we get home.”

“Okay,” she sighed against him, and by the time they reached his car, her weight had fully settled in his arms, and she was out cold.

He placed her in the car and buckled her seatbelt before he quietly slid into the driver’s seat, careful not to disturb her. But as he drove them back to his apartment, it became very clear that nothing short of an explosion would rouse her now.

Chase pulled up to the curb in front of his building and walked around to Andie’s side, lifting her up and laying her over his shoulder to free one of his hands for his keys. He hadn’t taken two steps toward the front door before he heard a gurgling sound, and something warm and wet hit his back.

He froze, closing his eyes.

“Shit,” he said, just as another round of wet heat poured down his back, and he shifted slightly, bringing Andie down from his shoulder and holding her up with one arm while trying to pull her hair back with his free hand as she continued to vomit into the street.

When he was sure she was finished, he picked her up bridal style and walked up the three flights to his apartment as quickly as he could while trying not to jostle her. As soon as they were inside, Chase laid her on his couch before going to the bathroom and removing his soiled shirt, tossing it into the tub. He was right about to rinse it out when he heard the same gurgling sound from before, and he grabbed the wastebasket and ran from the bathroom, dropping to his knees in front of her just in time for her to retch over it.

Chase brushed the hair out of her face and whispered reassuring things to her, although she was clearly beyond hearing him.

After several minutes Andie flopped back onto the couch, her arms splayed at her sides and her eyes closed, and Chase noticed the vomit on the front of her shirt. He placed the bucket on the floor and carefully pulled her arms out of the sleeves before cradling her head with one hand and pulling the shirt up over it with the other.

He returned to the bathroom with the pail and her shirt, dropping it into the tub next to his own before he began to clean them both.

After rinsing everything down and laying the shirts over the curtain rod to dry, he went rooting through his medicine chest for some aspirin. She was somewhat coherent after getting sick the second time, and Chase was able to coax her into swallowing the two pills with a few sips of orange Gatorade.

And then she went completely limp on his couch in her bra and jeans, snoring slightly.

Chase stood over her for a minute, shaking his head with a tiny laugh.

“I think I served my penance tonight. What do you think?”

She snored in response.

He laughed again as he removed her jeans and tossed them over a nearby chair. Then he grabbed his soccer shirt from the coffee table and gently pulled it over her head before putting her arms through the sleeves.

Chase lifted her from the couch and moved her to the recliner so he could pull the bed out. Once he had set out the blanket and pillows, he picked her back up and laid her on the mattress before he climbed on, lying on his side to face her.

And he stayed that way, with his head resting on his arm, watching her until the sky outside turned pink with the rising sun.



Chase opened his eyes, blinking against the brightness before he turned his head to the side. She was sitting up, her legs pulled into her chest and her chin resting on her knees as she looked down at him.

“Hi,” she said softly.

Chase slowly rolled on to his side, looking up at her. “Hi,” he said, his voice rough with sleep.

It was quiet for a moment before she said, “Your eye looks terrible.”

He nodded. “It feels terrible.”

A silence fell over them again, and Chase propped his head up on his hand, looking her over. Her face was slightly pale and she had a little smudge of makeup under each eye, but other than that, she looked as beautiful as ever.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Not as bad as I should be.”

“Yeah, well, you puked most of it up, so that always helps.”

Andie cringed as the tiniest bit of color bloomed on her cheeks. “Sorry,” she whispered.

Chase smiled. “Plus I gave you some Gatorade and aspirin before you officially went down for the count. Regurgitate, rehydrate, medicate. The drunk man’s trifecta.”

The corner of her mouth lifted in a halfhearted smile before the room fell silent again.

Chase sat up, and her eyes followed him. “Where did you go last night?” he finally said. “Did you walk all the way to Ripley’s?”

Andie looked down, playing with the edge of his comforter. “I couldn’t find my keys. I figured I left them up here, but I didn’t want to come back up and see you.” She glanced up at him before she looked away sheepishly. “I got a cab.”

“They were outside on the sidewalk.”

She nodded softly. “I dropped my purse when I was coming down the steps. I didn’t see them fall out.”

“Well you scared the shit out of me.”

Andie looked at him before she lifted one shoulder in a shrug, and Chase sighed.

“I guess I deserve that,” he murmured. He reached up and ran his hand through his rumpled hair before he asked, “What do you remember from last night?”

Andie lifted her chin off her knees, moving to sit cross-legged. “I remember drinking my body weight in Lemon Drops. I remember standing outside of Ripley’s with you.”

“That’s it?”

She looked down at her hands. “Everything else is a little fuzzy.”

Chase watched her intently as he said, “You told me you didn’t want to be with me anymore.”

Andie’s eyes flitted to his before she looked back down at her hands again.

Chase swallowed, suddenly terrified to ask his next question. “Is that true?”

She licked her lips nervously, keeping her eyes trained on her fingers as she spoke. “You made me feel like this was wrong. And as much as I didn’t want to hurt Colin, I never felt like being with you was wrong.” She took a small breath, finally looking up at him. “So if you really believe that…then no, I don’t want to be with you.”

“Andie,” he said, placing his hands on the bed and leaning toward her. “Do you have any idea what you did to me last night when I thought something happened to you?”

She pulled her brow together and opened her mouth to protest, but he stopped her. “No, let me say this. When I thought you were hurt, I swear to God, I couldn’t breathe. I literally couldn’t breathe. It was like my body wouldn’t work. I couldn’t think at all, and I just kept moving in these pointless circles…” he trailed off shaking his head. “I have never felt so out of control in my life.”

Chase exhaled heavily, running his hand down his face before he said, “And outside Ripley’s, when you told me you didn’t want me anymore, I couldn’t even feel the pain of that because I was just so goddamn happy you were safe.”

Her expression softened before she dropped her eyes to the bed.

“And I couldn’t even sleep last night because I just kept thinking that if this were really the last night you were going to be in my bed, I didn’t want to miss one second of it.”

Andie lifted her eyes to his, and this time they were welled with tears. He moved toward her on the bed, taking her face in his hands.

“I messed up last night. I wasn’t thinking, and I messed up,” he said, swiping his thumbs under her eyes as the first tears fell. “I can’t promise you that I’ll never be an a*shole again. But I can promise you that I don’t mean it. And I can’t promise you that I won’t ever make mistakes, but I can promise you that I’ll learn from them and do whatever it takes to make it right with you again.”

Andie closed her eyes, sending two more tears down her cheeks, and Chase brushed them away with his thumbs again. He waited until she opened her eyes before he said, “And I can promise you with my entire being that I don’t think you’re a terrible person. I think you’re the most incredible, selfless, intelligent, brave, beautiful, funny, talented, adorable person I’ve ever met in my life. And I can absolutely promise you that I don’t think this,” he gestured between them, “is wrong. You may very well be the only thing I’ve ever done right.”

Her eyes fell closed as a tiny sob fell from her lips, and when she opened them, she was smiling.

“Did you google ‘best groveling speeches’ while I was passed out?”

Chase smiled slowly, brushing his fingers over her cheek. “Can I kiss you now?” he whispered.

She pulled back slightly. “I have puke breath.”

“I love you,” he said, and her eyes flew to his face, her startled reaction making him smile. “I do. I love you. So I’ll take your kisses any way I can get them, pukey or otherwise.”

Andie inhaled deeply, and when she exhaled, her eyes were shining with tears again. “I love you, too,” she whispered.

Chase smiled, leaning into her. “Then there’s no way this could be wrong,” he whispered against her lips.

She closed the tiny distance between them, bringing her mouth to his, and when his arms came around her, pulling her against his body at last, he knew he would never let her go again.