I turned to look at him. My chin trembled. “How could I not?”
In admission, he lifted his shoulders helplessly while still keeping both hands on the steering wheel. “People deal differently. Get scared. Give up. I wasn’t so sure where you’d land.”
“How could you think that? He’s my husband.” The words came on a wave of vehemence, the thought of losing him more than I could bear.
And even if he weren’t my husband, if his birthday night had turned out any other way, I would still be here. Here with him and for him and fighting with everything I had.
Just like somewhere inside me I knew he’d been fighting for me, too.
Anthony’s lips pressed into a thin line, and I knew it was sadness that tipped it down at one side. He cleared his throat.
“Please…don’t take that the wrong way. I have seen people bail when I least expected them to. But honestly? I would’ve been surprised…shocked really…if you weren’t right here.”
His voice softened and he laughed quietly. “Never thought Baz would love someone the way he loves you.”
He glanced in the mirror at Kallie and quieted his voice more. “The way he loves her. I guess that’s what shocked me most.”
He peered my way, then back to the road, his throat bobbing like it hurt as he swallowed. “And I always wanted it for him. But it did scare me that if he did find somebody—” Another pleading glance. “Someone like you…it would make him more dangerous than ever. With his love comes passion, Shea, and that passion is probably the strongest thing I’ve ever seen. He’s a fight-to-the-death kind of guy. He’s always been, and he’s always going to be. Those of us who love him? We’ve accepted it.”
My smile was full of grief and awe, my understanding one-hundred percent clear. I’d accepted it. But that didn’t mean I hadn’t also tried to protect him from it, because that was just a part of who I was, too.
Emotion pressed in from every direction, a spike of desperation slicing through the words. “Did anyone find out anything more?”
The shake of his head seemed regretful. “No. We were all blindsided by this, Shea. Not just you. We haven’t been able to get in to talk with him yet and Kenny doesn’t think he can make that happen until Monday.”
Monday?
He hesitated again, sliding his gaze back to Kallie, to the road, then me. As if gauging what to say. Weighing if he had it in him to hurt me more.
“Just tell me,” I begged, because I couldn’t stand being left in the dark.
His words were measured and quiet, as if he could shield little ears from the magnitude of them.
“The charges are bad, Shea. He broke his restraining order by going over there, which is probably the least of his worries. It’s the assault and battery. Breaking and entering. Felonies that can add up to life, especially with his record. For the first time Kenny’s outlook is bleak.”
He roughed a hand through his hair, anger and frustration and worry bleeding through. “This is going to be a battle I’m not sure we can win.”
Sorrow struck every cell. Invaded every crevice.
Hands squeezing the wheel, his deep voice broke into the torment. “But things that are worth it? They’re always a battle, Shea. Everything important comes with a cost. We don’t always realize the truth of that because we don’t fight for the things that don’t truly matter to us. In my experience, the best things come through tribulation. What is forged in the fire always comes out stronger.”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat.
Sebastian was the fire.
“Thank you,” I whispered, just noticing we’d pulled to a stop in a drive in front of an immaculate home.
“That’s what I’m here for. Whatever you need, just ask, okay?”