When I felt the vibrating in my pocket, it took me a minute to realize what it was. When Paul felt it, he lifted his head and sighed. The moment was broken.
“I guess you’d better see who it is,” he said, running a hand through his hair as he sat up. I groaned as I sat up and pulled my phone out of my pocket. My heart lurched when I saw who was calling.
“It’s Ethan,” I whispered, pushing the button to send the call to voice mail.
I heard him sigh. “I think we need to talk, baby.”
Feeling dejected that our moment was lost, I leaned back on the sofa. “We probably do,” I agreed.
He reached over and pulled me to him, resting my head on his shoulder. “I think you know where I stand, Aly,” he said softly, rubbing my back. “I’m extremely attracted to you, and want to be with you. You’ve completely dazzled me for so long now and I’m tired of fighting it. Tired of wanting you, but not having you.”
I stayed as I was, listening. It never got old hearing from him that he wanted me. I spent so long thinking it was the exact opposite.
He tipped my chin up to look at him. “What are you feeling?” he asked, quietly.
I took a calming breath. “I don’t think I’ve hidden my feelings for you, not lately,” I started. “I’ve loved you for so long now and I know how it feels to want what you can’t have. It would kill me every time I’d see you and Casey together. Seeing you with your arm wrapped around her waist or shoulders, seeing you lean in and whisper in her ear, watching her giggle, seeing you kiss her,” I said, whispering the last part.
I looked up at him and was shocked to see the pain in his eyes. He rubbed his hand through my hair, resting it on my cheek. “I am so sorry. I didn’t know. It kills me knowing you felt that way about me and had to watch all that time.”
The tears started filling my eyes and I swiped at them. I tried lowering my head, but he wouldn’t let me. He leaned over and kissed a tear that started falling on my cheek, licking it away with his tongue. “Don’t cry, baby. I’m here now. Casey’s in the past, you are my future. At least I hope so.” He continued kissing my cheeks, swiping my tears away with his fingers and tongue.
“Paul, if you keep doing that, we won’t ever get through this,” I lightly laughed, pushing him away.
He sighed. “I know.” He rested his head back on the couch and motioned for me to continue.
“Don’t be sorry. You didn’t know. Yeah it wasn’t easy, but I’ve never blamed you. I think Casey knew I had feelings for you, though.”
His head jerked to me hearing that. “Really? You know, she’d say things here and there, but I’d always brush her off, never giving credence to it.”
I turned my head away. “Yeah, she never said anything directly to me, but I could tell. She wasn’t that nice to me.”
He shifted on the couch. “Sweetheart, Casey just isn’t that nice. Don’t take it personally. You are ten times the woman she’ll ever be. If anything, she knows that and was insecure around you.”
I looked back at him. “Maybe. I’m just glad you broke up with her.” I stopped when I saw his smile at that. “I meant for you, regardless of what happens with us. I never thought she was good enough for you, Paul.”
He reached for me. “You’re good for me,” he whispered, running his fingers down my cheek. “Too good, actually.”
“I probably am,” I said.
He smiled, even though his face was serious. “You are. I am still haunted by what I did after we slept together in my office. I will never forgive myself.”
Seeing the pain in his eyes gave me some satisfaction. “It’s over now, you can’t change it. I won’t deny that it shattered me. I do question if I’ll ever get over it, but I know I need to. You trying has helped. But,” I paused, about to mention Ethan, but chickening out.
He looked at me. “But?”
His eyes held so much in them. I realized the positions had switched and that I was now the one in control. I was no longer on the sidelines, pining for a man I couldn’t have. I was now front and center and could be his, if I chose.
I sighed. “But Ethan.”
“You don’t ever have to worry about bringing anything up with me, Aly,” he said, scooting closer to me. “I know things have developed more between you and Ethan and I certainly am aware he’s had feelings for you much longer than you have for him. It hurts me to know that maybe my actions pushed you into his arms, but like you told me, I can’t change it. I’m willing to fight for you, until you either choose me or tell me I’m not the one. I won’t give up until there’s nothing to fight for.”
His words were so similar to Ethan’s and it shook me. They both were willing to fight for me, to stick with me. The enormity of this hit me and I started shaking. No matter what happened, I’d be hurting one of them and that was harder for me than anything.
“Hey,” he said as he took me in his arms. “Why are you shaking? Are you cold?”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. Men could be so clueless sometimes. He rubbed his hands down my arms, while his chin rested on the top of my head.
“What is it?”
“Everything just hit me. No matter what happens, someone is going to get hurt, by me. That’s hard to take.” I shoved my head against his chest, trying to shut the reality of it out.
“Shh,” he whispered, making me look up at him. “Don’t think too much about that. There’s nothing you can do right now, unless you already know,” he smiled.
I shook my head. “To be honest, I think I do but then I don’t. I question everything. What you did is something that I can’t ever forget. But,” I said when he started to talk, “I can try to move on. It’s like, when I’m with you, I think of nothing but you. But when I’m with him, it’s the same. You both are so amazing and have so many wonderful qualities. You both make me feel like the only girl alive and you both bring out such feelings in me. I feel like I’m going crazy.”
“Don’t rush things. Take your time. While I would love it if he bowed out and left you for me, I know he won’t. You’re too special and we both know it. Like I said, I am not going anywhere and I will fight for you, Aly. I am honestly amazed you’re even here, that you’re talking to me, after what I did. I promise you, I do not take that for granted. I will do what it takes to win your heart.”
“Thank you,” I whispered. I wasn’t being completely honest with him, I realized. I was thinking about Ethan too, and that made me feel guilty. I knew there was no reason to feel that way, but I did.
He tipped my chin up and gazed into my eyes. “Always,” he said as he bent down and kissed the tip of my nose.
He suddenly stood up and grabbed my hand. “Okay, enough of the seriousness. Let me finish showing you the rest of my house.”
I smiled as I took his hand and stood. He led me to the stairs. You could choose to go either up, or down. We went down.
“There are three bedrooms down here, a workout room, and a large family room. I know it is a lot for just me, but with hosting events for Pierce Homes and having my own personal get-togethers, I wanted to have more than enough room.”
He led me to the right and into the large family area. Another big screen TV was on the wall and there were three sofas that made a U situated around the room. A fireplace like the one upstairs was on the side wall. I could feel the coziness of the room and couldn’t help but feel hope that maybe I’d be around more to enjoy it.
He then took me to the bedrooms. They were all filled with king size beds and luxurious bathrooms. I felt like I was in an exclusive resort with all the amenities he provided.
“This door here, is actually an elevator,” he told me as we stopped in the hall. He opened it and sure enough, there was an elevator car. I laughed as he pulled me in and pushed the button for the third level.
“What’s so funny?” he asked with a grin.
“You actually put an elevator in your house?” I asked, still laughing.
He raised a brow. “Yes, why is that so funny? You realize I have elderly grandparents who can’t get up and down stairs very well and some guests who come can’t either, right?”
That sobered me. “I hadn’t thought of that,” I whispered.
He chuckled and pulled me to him. “It’s okay baby, I’m just letting you know why. I know the whole house seems extravagant, but it’s exactly what I wanted. I’ve been blessed to be able to afford it and believe me, I don’t forget it.”
I admired Paul in many ways. He never was cocky or self-righteous, but hearing that just made it even better. I wondered if I’d ever truly get over him.
We walked off the elevator when it reached the third floor. I saw a sitting room with a computer and some bookshelves. To the left were stairs that I assumed went to the master bedroom. He took my hand and led me up them.
I gasped when I walked in. A huge king size bed was against the far wall and to the left were two oversized chairs in front of a TV and another fireplace behind them. When I turned to the right, I saw a room off of the bedroom that appeared to be Paul’s office, overlooking his huge driveway and beyond that, all of the city below.
Paul smiled at my reaction. “Come see the master bath.”
He pulled me behind him to an entryway to the most gorgeous bathroom I’d ever seen. A steam shower straight ahead, and a bathtub made out of stone. There were two sinks and huge mirrors on the side and a separate room with the toilet. I was drawn to the tub and for some reason, turned on the water. I yelped in surprise when instead of coming out of a faucet, the water came down the wall, like a waterfall. I turned to look at Paul in surprise.
“You like it?” he asked, coming up to me.
I nodded. “I love it. What a wonderful idea. I am in awe of the whole house, Paul.”
He wrapped his arms around me. “And I am in awe of you,” he said.
We stood there for a few minutes until he said, “It’s getting late, sweetheart. I hate the thought of you driving back alone. Would you like to stay here tonight or at least let me drive you back?”
I gave him a quizzical look. “Then where would you sleep?”
He laughed. “Oh yeah, hadn’t thought that far. I guess your place is out of the question?”
I hesitated. This was getting too close, too soon. Even after all I’d been feeling. “Uhh,” I stammered.
He squeezed my arms. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it, other than wanting to make sure you get home safely.”
I gave him a smile. “I’m fine, Paul. I can make it home safely on my own, but I appreciate your concern.”
He shook his head. “I don’t feel good about it. It’s hard to find your way out of the development when you don’t know where you’re going.”
“Well this is a problem then. While I would love to stay over in one of your beautiful guest rooms, I didn’t bring a change of clothes with me, Pierce. So yeah, I need to get home.”
He lifted a brow at me. “Well then, I’ll just pack an overnight bag for myself and we’ll be on our way.”
I grabbed his arm. “No.”
He looked at me, understanding in his eyes. “This is not an attempt for me to get in your pants, I promise. I’m just very protective of you, Aly. I can’t help it.”
I sighed, realizing he wasn’t going to back down. This was completely stupid in my opinion, yet he was stubborn. Would it kill me to let him sleep on my couch? When I looked around his bedroom and saw his bed, I started to think it might kill him.
“This is highly ridiculous,” I muttered as I started to walk out of the bedroom. I heard his chuckle behind me and I stepped down the few stairs and went to the sitting room that overlooked the main level. Again I was in awe of his home and his views. He was certainly blessed.
I felt his arms wrap around me and heard him sigh. “It’s a beautiful view, isn’t it?” he asked.
I nodded. “It certainly is. How come you’ve never had any of our banquets here?”
“I may have a big home, but it’s not that big,” he laughed.
“I guess that’s true,” I said. “But you certainly could host some nice parties here from time to time.”
He tapped the tip of my nose. “You think?”
Giving him a look, I responded. “Yes, I think.”
“Well I’ll do it, just for you,” he said as he leaned over and kissed my forehead. “Now while I hate to end the evening, we both have work tomorrow and we need to plan for our meeting with Mr. Halliday on Friday.”
“Yes, we do. I have everything listed I want to go over. I’ll show it to you in the morning.”
He grinned. “Now why am I not surprised?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “And Paul, I’ve thought about it. How about you just let me follow you to the gate at the end of your development here and I can find the rest of my way home.” I held up my hand when he started to argue. “I promise I will call you as soon as I get home. If you haven’t heard from me within thirty minutes of when we part, you have my permission to come find me.”
He snatched me in his arms. “You drive a hard bargain,” he nuzzled into my ear. “But I’ll agree, just this once.”
I smiled as he continued to hold me; grateful I had put off a night of him staying in my apartment. I wasn’t sure I would have been able to stay away from him, knowing he was so close. It was much better this way.