Javier broke into a wide grin and leaned down to kiss my forehead. “That’s my woman,” he said proudly and I tried not to wince at the feeling of his lips on my skin.
“I think the acid burned away some of his hair too,” I added. “But that’s not enough. I want more. I want to rip his head off with my own fucking teeth.”
He raised his brows at me. “My god, if you weren’t so damn injured, you wouldn’t be able to keep me off of you right now.”
At the thought of that, my heart sank and the smile fell from my face.
“What?” he asked quickly.
I turned my head way, staring at the wall, feeling everything. The shame. The knowledge that nothing would be the same. “How could you want me after everything?”
“Because,” he said, sounding confused. “You’re you.”
“I’m not.” I let out a small, sad little sob. “I don’t know what I am now. A monster.”
His eyes narrowed into slits. “We both know who the real monster is here,” he said sharply.
“Please, you know it …I’m ugly. I’ll never be the same. Even if I can get your forgiveness, I won’t look the same to you again.”
“Luisa, stop talking like an idiot. Give me time. Give us time.”
“My looks won’t change with time.”
“Your looks?” He trailed his fingers down my arm. “What about your looks?”
“My hair, my scars, my burns.” I could almost feel the same acid eating away at my soul.
“Hey now,” Javier said, putting his hand under my chin and gently tipping my face toward him. He appraised my face, taking me all in coolly. Finally he nodded and said, “You’re better now.”
“What?”
He shrugged casually. “What can I say? I think you look better. With your hair short like that, you can see more of your gorgeous face. And the burns only make you look stronger. Like a warrior. Like the queen that you are. Like nothing will hurt you ever again, because you’ve lived through it already. What could be more beautiful than that?” He leaned over and kissed me gently on the lips. “You know now that you could never be ugly to me,” he murmured.
My heart wanted to swell with his words, so terribly honest that it took my breath away. When Javier was cruel he was brutal, but when he was tender, it was almost more disarming.
Yet, at the same time I knew he wouldn’t be quick to forgive me and that we had so much distance between us we needed to gap. He might have implied that he was still physically attracted to me, a fact that brought with it a whole mess of other issues, but I didn’t know when he would let me in again.
“Sorry to disturb you,” Evaristo said, opening the door to the room while lightly knocking on it at the same time.
Javier glared at him. “She finally comes to and there you are. Can’t even give us a damn minute.”
He smiled at me brightly, looking so different in a suit and not the tortured man in the basement. “Luisa, I’m glad you’re awake. You’ve been out of it for the last few days.”
“How long have I been here?”
“A week,” he said.
“And you still haven’t found Esteban?” I asked.
“Actually,” Evaristo said quickly, coming over to me. He turned to Javier excitedly. “We have. We just spotted him on the satellite footage, in a village in the mountains, southeast Guatemala.”
“Well, fuck,” Javier said, gesturing wildly, his eyes wide and bright, “what the hell are you doing waltzing in here like this? Let’s go!”
“I want to go,” I said quickly.
Both men looked at me as if I were insane. I probably was. But I couldn’t rest here, not without finding Esteban with them and taking out his other eye.
“You’re in no shape to move,” Evaristo said. “Stay here, we will have people taking good care of you. You’ll be protected around the clock.”
“Leave Diego here,” Javier said, which surprised me. “He can guard her.”
It seemed to surprise Evaristo too. “You sure? We might need him.”
He shook his head. “I’m not leaving her in the hands of someone I don’t know and trust.”
“Forget trust,” I told them. “I’m not afraid, I just want him dead.” I tried to get up but the pain was so great, spreading like fire. I cried out and Javier gently pushed me back onto the bed.
“No, Luisa,” he told me. “We will get Esteban alive. And I will bring him back here for you. You can do whatever you want with him. I promise.”
“Please.”
“I promise,” he repeated. He jerked his chin at Evaristo. “Come on. Let’s find Diego and get going.”
The two of them stalked off. For a moment I thought perhaps, if I just tried hard enough I could move, but my whole upper body failed on me. The agony was just too great. I lay back, breathing hard, wishing my anger could fool myself into thinking I was okay. But all it did was tire me.
My last thoughts before I fell asleep were of all the terrible things I would do if Javier brought Esteban back here.
For the first time in a long time, I smiled.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Javier