“She told me she didn’t want me over a year ago,” I protested.
“It was over a year ago. A lot can change in three hundred and sixty five days, dude.” Jordan looked at me like I was the world’s biggest idiot. And maybe I was.
“I’m with Sophie,” I argued weakly. That particular excuse didn’t seem like much of an excuse anymore.
“And she’s not who you want to be with,” Jordan added.
I rubbed my temples, trying to lessen the throbbing in my head. “And she’s not who I want to be with,” I agreed.
“Well, it sounds like you have a plan,” Jordan said with a grin.
“A plan? It sounds like a fucking mess to me,” I grunted.
Jordan clasped my shoulder. “Well I guess you’d better get out the mop then.”
“You. God help me, I just want you.”
I rolled over in bed, keeping my eyes resolutely closed, hugging my pillow tightly to my chest, replaying the scene with Mitch over and over in my head.
The look on his face.
The taste of his mouth.
His heart in his eyes.
“You. God help me, I just want you.”
He made me feel things. Dangerous things.
Perfect, out of control things.
I should have told him how I felt. That was the moment to lay it all out on the table.
But there was Sophie…
He had chosen to be with someone else.
After you told him there would never be a chance between you.
A chance.
Chances.
That’s all we were.
Possibilities and almosts.
It was frustrating and heartbreaking. I felt as though I were losing him all over again. Because after that amazing kiss he had driven away.
“I’m sorry.”
We were always apologizing to one another. We were always making mistakes. I was tired of regrets. They were exhausting. They didn’t change anything that had happened.
But I couldn’t help it.
Because I regretted so damn much.
“Gracie, are you up?” Vivian knocked on my bedroom door and before waiting for an answer, she poked her head in. She frowned when she saw me still in bed. “What’s up with you? Don’t you have a meeting at ten? It takes you at least an hour to properly shave and moisturize!”
I snorted. Vivian knew my grooming routine better than I did.
I finally opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. “Yeah, I’m up,” I sighed.
“I won’t be home until late tonight. Cole and I are heading over to the apartment to start moving things in. You’re welcome to come over if you want. We’ll probably order some pizza and stuff.”
I swung my legs out of the bed and grabbed my robe, putting it on. I picked up my phone and checked my messages.
Nothing.
Don’t be disappointed. What did you think would happen? He’d go to his girlfriend and break up with her for you? Just because you shared a stupid kiss?
I put the phone back on the table and pulled clothes out of my closet.
“That’s okay. I’m supposed to have dinner with my parents after work,” I told her. Ugh. Dinner with my parents. I wasn’t in the mood for their lectures and criticisms but there were certain things I needed to set straight with them. I couldn’t go through life not addressing things because they were difficult or uncomfortable.
And I couldn’t spend my life checking my phone waiting for him to call.
Take life by the balls, Gracie Cook!
“Well, you could come by after that. I’m sure by that point you could use some carbs and decent conversation,” Vivian laughed as I passed her on my way to the bathroom.
“Yeah, we’ll see,” I said.
Vivian bit down on her bottom lip, her eyes concerned. “Mays and Jordan said they’d come by and Garrett gets back into town today.” She hesitated before adding, “I don’t think Mitch will be there, if that’s the problem. Cole said he had stuff to do today. So if you’re worrying about a run in—”