Jordan put down the beer bottle and crossed his arms over his chest, looking almost defensive. Like he knew what he was going to say wouldn’t go over well and he was preparing himself for my reaction.
“We’re having a baby, man. I can’t go on the road and leave Maysie here to deal with all that on her own. You know she has a shit relationship with her parents and I can’t expect Gracie and Vivian to fill in while I’m out there trying to be a rock star,” he said almost angrily. “And I won’t be the kind of dad that misses out on first steps and night feedings to chase a buck.”
He sighed and looked at me, his face set, his decision made. “Before I met Maysie, my dream was making music. When I met you and the other guys, we all wanted the same thing. To make a living doing what we loved. We were all on the same page. But now…”
“Now you have a new dream,” I filled in for him.
Jordan nodded.
“Maysie is my dream. The family we’re making together, that’s what I want from my life. I can’t stand the thought of leaving her here and going on the road. I won’t do it.” He took a deep breath and delivered the final blow. “So, no matter what is said during that phone call with Pirate, this is it for me. I’m sorry, man.”
I didn’t say anything for a long time. I really didn’t know what to say. I had suspected Jordan was looking for an out for a while. If I was truthful, we all were. Generation Rejects had been created by four kids. Now we were men who had seen both the good and ugly side of the music business. We had experienced the highs and the lows. And while the ride had been great, Garrett had been right when he had said maybe it was time for us to grow up.
It felt like the ending of a chapter. And I couldn’t decide if I was relieved or fucking depressed.
“Have you told Cole and Garrett?” I asked him.
“Garrett knows about Maysie because Riley knows. We haven’t talked about the other stuff but I have a feeling he’s expects it. As for Cole—”
“He’s too busy with his head up Viv’s—”
“Yeah. Exactly. But I think he’ll understand. He and Vivian are looking to settle down. I think he’s going to pop the question,” Jordan said and I almost choked again.
“Cole’s going to propose to Vivian? Where the fuck have I been during these conversations?” I asked in disbelief.
Jordan laughed. “He hasn’t come out and said he’s going to, but he was asking me all sorts of questions about how I asked Maysie to marry me. Then he asked if I thought it would be fucked up if a guy asked a chick when he was going down on her.”
“Was he serious? Jesus,” I muttered.
“His reasoning was that it was when a woman was most agreeable,” Jordan shrugged. “So I think he’ll be okay with my decision.” He looked at me hard. “So that just leaves you really. Are you pissed at me?”
I balled up the paper from my beer bottle and rolled it across the counter, making sure to put it in the trash can so Jordan didn’t get bitched out.
“I’ll be honest, the thought of not being in the band anymore freaks me out. It’s all I’ve known for almost ten years, man,” I explained.
“I get that, Mitch, I really do. But maybe that’s more of a reason to go out there and do something else,” Jordan suggested.
“You, Garrett, and hell even Cole, have their lives sort of planned out. You’re going to be a dad. Garrett’s got Riley and their future together. Cole and Vivian are, surprisingly enough, a sure thing. Then there’s me. I just feel like I’m going to be left dangling in the wind, you know?”
Jordan dropped the empty beer bottles into the trash. “What about Sophie? I thought you guys were solid,” he said.
I snorted. “We’re anything but solid.”
Jordan raised an eyebrow. “Let me guess, this has to do with Gracie.”
“Why would you think that?” I muttered.
“Because you’re Mitch. And she’s Gracie. And the two of you will never be able to leave each other alone,” Jordan stated as though it made perfect sense.