Though it hadn’t bothered me too much when I used to come over. I was able to overlook his grimy tendencies so easily. That should have been an obvious sign of my feelings for him. Nothing says I love you like not bitching about dirt and clutter.
I went to leave the note on the dresser when something caught my eye.
In the middle of discarded Twizzler wrappers and piles of change was a collection of hair ties. Blue, red, pink, purple. They were twisted into a knot and placed on top of a small wooden box.
Small hair ties. Stretched out hair ties. All mine. Some of them I had left by accident. Others I had purposefully kept in his room so that I had one should I need it.
And they were still there. A year since the last time I had entered his room.
I picked up the bundle of hair ties, gripping them in my hand. I rested my hand on the lid of the box debating whether to open it.
Don’t, Gracie. You’ve already rudely entered his room without being invited, don’t make it worse.
They say curiosity killed the cat. My curiosity almost broke my heart.
I opened the box with shaking hands and reached inside. My fingers closed around a stack of photographs, which I promptly lifted out.
I shouldn’t be looking at these. I need to put them back, leave the note, and get the hell out of his room. It wasn’t right to snoop around like this.
Whatever. Of course I was going to look. Who wouldn’t?
So I started going through them. One at a time.
I didn’t realize that I was crying until tears fell on the glossy prints.
They were photographs of me. Each and every one of them.
Some were of Mitch and me together. Others were of me with our friends. Some, I was by myself. They were candid and honest. They captured a Gracie that was natural and uninhibited. I hadn’t even known I was being photographed.
Some people would have been weirded out by that. I wasn’t. Not at all. These pictures revealed a woman I had almost forgotten about.
A woman that was happy.
Wiping away tears, I started to put them back when something caught my eye. It was a picture towards the back that I had almost overlooked. The longer I stared at it, the harder my tears fell.
In the photo, Mitch and I were standing by a raging bonfire behind Garrett’s house. I didn’t know who had taken it, but whoever it was had captured something honest. Something completely real.
Mitch had his arm slung around my shoulders. I was looking up at him, my eyes intense and hungry. We were both smiling. Only inches apart. Mitch’s hand was frozen just as he was about to touch my face.
It was a beautiful picture. The fire and the smoke created an artistic haze over our figures.
But that wasn’t what left me reeling.
It was the look on our faces.
We looked in love.
No one could see it and think anything else.
I flipped it over and saw a date in Mitch’s chicken scratch handwriting.
July 4th, 2013.
2013.
The photograph was from two years ago.
Two years.
Even then my heart had known that I loved him. My brain may have been in denial, but I knew.
I clutched the photograph to my chest and felt almost sick about all the lost time. The missed chances.
I had been such a fool.
Carefully I put the pictures back, closed the lid, and replaced the hair ties. My hair ties. The ones Mitch kept.
With trembling fingers I left the note for him propped against the box and wiped the lingering tears from my face.
It was time to leave.
I shut the door on our memories, hoping that we weren’t too late to make new ones.
Rows of family photographs lined the walls of my parents’ living room. Mom had turned on the gas fireplace and the house was toasty and warm. It had started to snow late in the day and there was a fine dusting already on the ground. I hoped the roads stayed clear enough for me to get home.
Because hell if I was spending the night.
Anyone looking at the framed pictures would think we had lived a perfect life. Posed photo ops of Christmases and birthdays. First days of school and gymnastics meets.