chapter 30
Tony stood looking down at Justine, who was sleeping again. She’d been in the hospital for almost forty-eight hours. It had been touch-and-go for her at first, but once the medical staff had stabilized her, her health was improving rapidly. Physically, it seemed, she was going to be fine.
Her mental health, however, was still in question.
She’d been in and out of consciousness, and Tony had rarely left her side. He couldn’t. At first he’d been worried about her. Then it had become obvious that seeing him always caused her to have an intense emotional response. Initially she’d simply cried or screamed with rage. But then she’d started talking. And once that had happened? Well, he hadn’t wanted to risk missing a single word she’d said.
Some of what she said didn’t make sense, but a lot of it did.
Her words were a jumbled mess of love and hate, with her alternately thanking him for saving her and fighting for her brother, and cursing him for abandoning her for Linda. Other times she didn’t seem to realize what had happened, and she’d ask whether he’d discovered the identity of the Rapture supplier or whether Guapo had been released from prison yet.
The real shocker had occurred almost twelve hours ago, however, when she’d confessed, quite gleefully, to twice hiring someone to kill Linda. She’d been responsible for both the shooting at the courthouse and the attempted attack on Linda at her house. She’d done it because she loved him, she’d said, and knew she wouldn’t have a chance with him so long as Linda was around. When Tony had asked her the identity of the person she’d hired, she’d waved him off, saying that she’d met some guy at a bar and had been having sex with him to get him to do what she wanted. At his urging, she’d finally given Tony the guy’s name and address. He’d already been picked up and booked into jail, and Yee was working on serving a search warrant on the Tortuga Boulevard house. Soon, Carl and Nicco Santos would be in jail, too, although the bust would in no way be linked to either Justine or Tony. In that way, at least, Justine would be protected, and hopefully in protecting herself, she’d keep Tony’s true agenda a secret, too.
Tony was still struggling to accept it all, including his stupidity for not having seen Justine for what she really was and his guilt for having placed Linda in danger again despite all his good intentions to protect her.
“Hey,” Linda said softly, squeezing his arm and making him jump.
He turned toward her. She’d been sitting in a chair several feet from Justine’s bed, but had risen to stand beside him. It was the second time she’d come to see him at the hospital even though he’d told her he didn’t want her here. It wasn’t that Justine was a threat to her anymore—her hands and feet were manacled to the bed—but he didn’t want Linda to hear the ugly things that Justine often said about her.
But when Linda had insisted on staying again, he hadn’t had the strength to fight her. If she wanted to stay with him after everything he’d put her through, he’d just enjoy her while he could. In his mind, she’d be walking away from him soon enough.
“Stop it,” she said. “I know what you’re thinking. I can see it in your eyes. You’re blaming yourself for all this, and I’m not going to let you do it. You are not responsible for what she tried to do to me and you’re not responsible for what she did to herself. She had a drug problem, Tony, long before you and I ever saw each other again. You have to remember that.”
He heard what she was saying. Logically, a part of him could even accept it. But emotionally? He hurt. More than he’d ever hurt physically. He felt like a failure.
As a cop.
As a man.
Maybe he couldn’t do anything about the latter, but the former? Maybe he could still do something about that.
“You should get to work,” he told her. “It’s your first day back, remember? Now that we know Justine was behind the threats to you, you need to get on with your life. There’s no sense in you sitting here waiting for her to wake up. And I’d really prefer you not be here when she does, anyway. Please.”
“You still think she’ll tell you something about the man who sold her the Rapture?”
“I don’t know, but I need to find out. Maybe I was wrong about everything else, but I still think she loved her brother. If I can appeal to her on that level, who knows?”
Linda nodded and stood. Then she bent to lightly kiss him.
He closed his eyes. Breathed her in. Soaked in the feel of her and wondered how long this would last. Wondered when she’d realize that, just like Justine, he was still a drug addict and as such would always bring complications to her life. Complications she wanted no part of.
“Will you come by my house later? Around six o’clock? I’ll be back from work then and there’s something I want to show you.”
“Sure,” he said, giving her a tired smile.
After she left, Tony stared at his clasped hands and waited.
Less than an hour later he looked at Justine and found her gaze on him.
She was looking at him with a calmness and clarity he hadn’t seen her exhibit the whole time she’d been here.
“Hey,” he said softly and scooted his chair a couple of feet closer. He forced himself to smile.
“Hey,” she said back, returning his smile. A few seconds of silence passed, then she said, “So do you know?” she whispered. “Did I...did I tell you what I’ve done?”
“That you tried to have Linda killed, you mean? Yeah, I know.” Inside his rage was still building. He hated her for the danger she’d put Linda in. For the way she’d played him. But he’d been playing a part for so long, he almost felt like a different person. He needed information from Justine and showing his rage wouldn’t get it. So he didn’t show it. It was as simple as that.
“I did it because I love you, Tony. And I know you love me. You were willing to go to jail to protect me, weren’t you?”
“Yeah,” he said, leaning over and touching her arm. “I was.”
She smiled and they were silent again.
Finally he said, “Do you still want to help me find the man who sold Rory the drugs that killed him, Justine? The drugs that almost killed you? Or was wanting to help me all a lie?”
She jerked her gaze to his. “No, it wasn’t a lie. I—I used Rapture, too. Before Rory died. But I got it from him. I didn’t know who he got it from.”
“But you knew he got it from Club Matrix. And you know who’s peddling it now, don’t you?”
“I don’t know him,” she said. “I don’t know his name. But—”
“But what?” he said calmly. Almost numbly. Which was exactly how he felt. Numb. Not like himself. But who was he really?
“But I know who might,” she said.
He felt a spark of something ignite inside him. Excitement? Hope? “Who?”
“Linda.”
* * *
Linda sat in her office with her boss sitting across from her, but her mind was still on Tony. She’d hated leaving him in that hospital room. Knew that guilt was eating away at him. But he was right. She’d needed to get back to work. To her life. She just hoped she’d be able to convince him that she wanted him to be part of it.
“What a mess,” Norm Peterson said. “But I have to say, I’m glad for you, Linda. We’ll contact that reporter as soon as things are squared away. Being involved with an undercover cop posing as a drug dealer is going to be a lot better for your judicial campaign than being involved with a drug addict.”
“He is a drug addict,” she said. “Whether he’s a cop or not, that hasn’t changed. But...”
Norm cocked a brow. “But?”
“But I have. At least, I’ve changed my mind about running for judge. I’m going to withdraw my name from consideration.”
Norm sighed. “Because you’re going to stay with him?”
“No. I mean—I want to stay with him. I hope he wants to stay with me. I hope we can make a relationship between us work this time. But if I have any chance of making that happen, I can’t be concerned about my reputation and I can’t expose my private business or Tony’s to the public, especially given what he does for a living. I also...I also can’t expose my father’s private business to the public, either.”
“We already talked about this before you ever put your name in for the bench. So long as you disavow your father, your campaign shouldn’t be negatively affected by his past mistakes.”
“I know. But I don’t know if I want to disavow my father any longer. I’ve made some calls about seeing him. I want to talk to him and see what kind of possibilities exist there, too. I’m sorry if that disappoints you.”
Norman stared at her for a few seconds, then smiled and rose. “It doesn’t disappoint me, Linda. You’re a great attorney. One I’m proud to have working for me. You do what you need to. Judge or no judge, I’ll be behind you.” He reached out a hand and she shook it.
“Thank you, Norm.”
When he was gone, Linda sighed and picked up the phone. Twenty minutes later she had an appointment to see her father in prison. She really hoped Tony meant what he’d said about being willing to go with her, because she was planning on taking him up on his offer. Somehow, knowing Tony would be by her side made her feel as if she could face anything.
Linda rose, exited her office and was on her way to the watercooler when she saw Allie just leaving the main office and heading into the lobby. She hadn’t talked to the other woman since Allie had caught Linda and Tony having sex at Club Matrix. She supposed she should get that first awkward conversation over with.
Quickly Linda made her own way to the lobby. “Allie,” she called just as the younger woman was stepping out the back entrance to the parking lot.
The law student held the door open as Linda followed her out.
* * *
Tony stared at Justine and said “You’re sure you saw the man who gave you Rapture before? In the courthouse when I was arraigned? And after I was released on bail?”
“I’m sure, Tony. He flirted with me both times. And then when I went to Club Matrix that night, when I was so angry with you for disappearing with Linda, he flirted with me again. He wanted to have sex with me. And when I jokingly said I’d do it if he gave me some Rapture...well, he had it. He gave it to me. We used it together. And then he said he knew who you were, and that if you were interested in paying him, he could arrange for you to get more.”
“I was at Club Matrix, Justine. I saw one of Linda’s coworkers there. But he has dark hair. You said this guy is blond.”
“That’s right. Blond. Handsome. Cocky. Annoying as hell. I swear, if he pointed his finger at me like a gun one more time, I was going to bite it off. I—”
“Pointed his finger like a gun?” Tony echoed. And just like that, he had a vision of himself sitting in his car, watching Linda and Neil Christoffersen talking as another man appeared and made the very gesture Justine was talking about. It could be coincidence, of course, but—
Tony stood and walked to the door.
“Tony? Wait! Where are you going?”
Pausing at the doorway, he looked back at Justine. He was still angry with her, but mostly he felt sorry for her.
“I—I remembered something. And I need to make a phone call.”
“But you’re going to come back, aren’t you? You still love me, don’t you?”
It should have been easy for him to lie. To say he loved her. But he couldn’t. He loved Linda, and he refused to diminish those feelings for her by saying the words to this woman. So he said what he could. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, Justine, but you’ve done the right thing by telling me what you know. Thank you for that.”