chapter 20
Linda made sure Tony was sleeping again, returned the antibiotics to the fridge, wrote him a note, then drove into town and headed for the little mom and pop grocery store she vaguely remembered from her youth. When she pulled in front, she remembered how the guy behind the counter used to let her and Kathy pick a candy out of the candy display every time their mom took them there.
It was nice to ponder memories from her childhood that weren’t so painful.
She slowly maneuvered her cart down the aisles, noticing how familiar even the clientele seemed. Two kids in bathing suits and flip-flops, hair still wet, followed their harried mother up and down the aisles. Just like how she used to follow her mom down the aisles after her mom would pick her up from the local pool.
An elderly woman leaned on her cart in the frozen food aisle, happily chatting with a young New Ager—the twentysomething woman was clad in a long tie-dyed dress and had an exotic head scarf covering her wild hair. It reminded her of a scarf Kathy had owned at one time.
Linda found herself smiling. Sure, there were a few new stores in town, but not much had changed since she’d stayed here as a kid.
So many things had changed, though.
She’d changed.
And Tony had changed, as well—at least that’s what he was claiming.
But had he really?
Automatically she found herself picking out things in the produce aisle that she knew from personal experience he liked. Surely his taste in food hadn’t changed. So long as he continued to get better, they’d only be holed up here for a day or two. Just long enough for him to tell her the truth about what was going on.
But then what?
Would he go back to Justine and...
She froze at her mental reminder that Tony had a girlfriend.
She slammed to a stop in front of the pears. Was she crazy? She was buying ingredients to make chicken soup for the man. She was playing Florence Nightingale to an addict and admitted murderer who had a girlfriend, she reminded herself.
And don’t forget that she’d slept with him. A man who belonged to another woman, no matter how she still thought of him as hers.
Shame rocked through her. She’d been the one to initiate that kiss with Tony back at her house. That it had exploded into something more than she’d been expecting didn’t matter. She’d known he had a girlfriend. She, not Linda, should be here taking care of him.
She maneuvered her cart filled with groceries to the checkout stand with leaden feet. When had things gotten so crazy?
She contemplated the question as she unloaded her groceries onto the conveyer belt, startled when the portly man behind the cash register suddenly said, “Hey, there. You look familiar. You’re not Chuck Delaney’s kid, are you?”
Her heart picked up its pace at the sudden mention of her father. A man she detested. She stared at the checker, who still held her arugula in one hand, as if frozen in motion until she responded to him. “Excuse me?”
“It’s just...well, you’re the spitting image of him. Except way prettier. And I know he has daughters. Just wondering if you’re one of them.”
She hesitated but knew she had no choice. She couldn’t very well lie and then hand him a credit card with the last name Delaney, and she didn’t have enough in her wallet to pay with cash.
“He was my father,” she said stiffly. Though she watched the man carefully, he showed no sign of judgment or pity.
“I thought so. I wasn’t sure. The pictures he had of you two were when you were young, but when I saw you...well...” His smile faded as Linda just looked at him, frowning.
Her father had shown this man photos of her and Kathy? How? But more importantly, why?
His daughters had been nothing to her father. He’d proven that time and time again. With every crime he’d committed. Every item he’d stolen. Every time he’d gotten caught and taken away, until he’d been taken away from his family forever.
“How did you see the photographs?” she asked.
The man whose name tag identified him as Fred finally put his attention back on ringing up her groceries. “Your dad sure was proud of you girls. He carried those pictures in his wallet and would show them to me when he was here. He did that practically until the day he—well, you know...”
She did know. Until her father had committed an armed robbery at the bank where her mother had worked.
Yes, she knew what the checker was referring to. Probably everyone in this small town did, too. The bust had been so big it had made the news in Sacramento, and soon thereafter her mother had moved them to Argyle, Texas, to start over.
And despite the fact that Linda had written her dad while he’d been in prison, he’d never bothered writing her back.
Linda went through the motions of paying for the groceries, then loaded the three bags into her car. When she got back to the cabin, she parked the car but didn’t get out right away. The man named Fred had talked of her father as if he’d liked him...respected him. And what he’d said about her father carrying pictures of his daughters around? It had to be some kind of mistake, didn’t it? Her father was a criminal. One who’d chosen a life of crime over his family. Over her.
Hadn’t he?
* * *
When she returned from the store, Tony was still sleeping but his brow was once again hot. Frowning, she looked around for the bottle of codeine he’d gotten from the E.R. but she couldn’t find it anywhere. She sat beside him. “Tony,” she said gently.
He stirred and his eyes flickered open.
“Where’s the codeine I picked up for you?”
Instead of answering her, he smiled broadly, looking happy to see her. He tried closing his eyes again.
“No, Tony. Wait.” She’d looked everywhere, but couldn’t find the damn bottle of pills. She’d put them on the kitchen table. She was certain of it. But whatever...Tony needed something to get his fever down now. She grabbed a glass of water and some Tylenol from the medicine cabinet, returned and shook him gently. “Tony, wake up. You need to take this.”
His eyes flickered open and he frowned when his gaze landed on the aspirin she held.
“It’s just plain Tylenol. Open your mouth,” she whispered. Obediently he did, and she leaned over and placed the pills inside. Then she tipped the water glass to his mouth. He swallowed, but a trail of water spilled down his chin. “Sorry,” she said, then dabbed it up with the paper towel she’d brought with her. “Sleep now.”
And he did. He conked out for hours. When she went to check on him again, he was awake. Propped up by pillows and sitting up in bed. He didn’t look well, but he looked better. More alert. And for some reason that made her nervous.
“Can I have more Tylenol?” he asked. “And maybe some mouthwash to get the cotton out of my mouth?”
She jolted. “Oh. Yes, sure.” Like before, she helped him swallow the pills, then gave him some mouthwash, which he spit out in a bowl. But this time when she tried to move away, he gently grabbed her wrist. Holding on with one hand, he took the bowl with his other hand and set it on the nightstand.
“Linda...”
She froze at his touch and took in a breath. She suddenly wondered if he’d asked for the mouthwash because he’d wanted to do more than freshen his breath. He was no longer hot with fever, but his touch affected her as if he was. As if a bolt of lightning had streaked through her. Her abdomen clenched, and she swore she could feel the heat of his touch travel straight through her to land in that throbbing spot between her legs.
They stared at each other as if hypnotized. He swallowed convulsively and her gaze focused on his strong throat. The chin that was shadowed with stubble. The breadth of his bare shoulders. She wanted to lean down and rest her cheek against his chest. Hear the reassuring thud of his strong heartbeat and for a few moments forget that they were adversaries. But until Tony admitted that he’d been lying to her, that’s exactly what they were. That hadn’t changed simply because they’d made love again or because she was caring for him.
She started to pull away, but Tony’s grip tightened.
“Wait. Don’t—don’t go.”
She stilled and remembered the way he’d asked her to stay with him earlier.
Don’t go, he’d said. I don’t need pills. I never did. All I need is you.
“Tony,” she began.
“Shhh.” He pulled her closer toward him but his grip was gentle, a slight pressure she still couldn’t resist.
He drew her down until her lips hovered just a fraction above his. Until she was staring into his beautiful brown eyes, and reacquainting herself with the small gold flecks in them that made them twinkle when he was happy.
Even now they twinkled and she closed her eyes in denial.
This was an impossible situation. His breath was an alluring whisper against her face and she wanted to whimper with the yearning that filled her. He pulled her even closer so that her forehead rested against his but that was all. He didn’t kiss her.
But she wanted him to. She wanted him to make love to her again, even though she knew he was too sick to do such a thing right now.
She’d settle for a kiss, then.
Please, she thought. Kiss me.
She opened her eyes and blinked.
She hadn’t spoken. And neither had he. But staring into his eyes, she heard the words anyway. Her own. But also his.
Kiss me, the look in his eyes begged.
And like a moth drawn to a flame, she couldn’t resist the pull of his unspoken desire.
Her lips met his.
* * *
Tony knew this was a mistake. A huge mistake. But he didn’t care.
Just as he had been at her house less than forty-eight hours ago, he was exactly where he most wanted to be, with his entire world focused on Linda and the feel of her lips on his. Her sweet clean scent wrapped around him in a comforting embrace. With a small whimper that might have come from either one of them, they opened their mouths, their tongues searching for each other’s with unerring accuracy. She tasted good enough that he got dizzy and had to close his eyes and grab on to her. But even as his fingers rested on her shoulders, he kept his touch light, careful, not wanting to jar her out of the fantasy of their kiss lest she suddenly realize what they were doing and pull away.
Lest she suddenly remember what he’d said just to push her away—that he’d gone straight from her bed to Justine’s.
“So good,” he murmured. “You feel so good, Linda. I want you again.”
She gave a slight sigh and angled her mouth to get a better taste of him. The kiss quickly turned urgent and Tony couldn’t keep his touch gentle anymore. He plunged his fingers into Linda’s hair and pulled her closer.
For a few blessed moments their world and their circumstances fell away and they simply reveled in being in each other’s arms again.
Reality intruded when his cell phone rang.
* * *
Linda jerked away from Tony. Breathing hard, she stared at him, noting how the gold flecks in his eyes had darkened the way they always did when he was turned on. And he was definitely turned on. Pressed against him, she’d been able to feel his chest sucking in air and his body hardening for her. Maybe he wasn’t too sick to make love after all.
He reached for her again, but she quickly stood.
She backed away from him, wiping at her mouth as she did so, as if by doing so she could erase the feel of his kiss. Not likely.
She reached into her pocket and pulled out his cell phone. The one she’d taken from him.
His eyes narrowed when she tossed it to him. It landed beside him with a small bounce.
“That’s probably your girlfriend. I don’t want her knowing about this place. If you want her to pick you up, I’ll drive you someplace out of town. But not yet. First we need to talk.”
He leaned back against the pillows. The phone’s ringing abruptly stopped.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“About your girlfriend? Nothing. You told me enough when you said you went from me to her. What I want to know is why you think a policeman was trying to break into my home and why that would cause you to fear for my safety. Because you were afraid for my safety. And that makes twice that you saved my life. Are you going to keep pretending that you’re this big bad drug dealer in the face of that evidence? You’re not a bad man, Tony.”
“How can you say that? You, more than anyone, know I’m weak, and a weak man easily turns bad.”
“Maybe you’re not as weak as I thought. You threw the codeine away, didn’t you?”
His gaze flickered away. Just for a second, but she saw it. “What makes you say that?”
“And that answers my question loud and clear.”
Tony shrugged. “Even if you’re right, so what? I don’t want to get hooked on painkillers again. It doesn’t pay to use drugs when you’re dealing them. Cuts into the profits. That doesn’t mean I’m not weak. Or bad.”
“Whatever the reason, you’re not doing it, and that still requires an enormous amount of willpower and strength. I’m glad you’re clean.”
Surprise and pleasure flashed across his face before he looked away and cleared his throat. “So now what?” he asked. Gingerly he tried sitting up but winced at how difficult it was.
“You want to tell me about what happened earlier?” she challenged.
“I’m much more about action than talking, you know. Why don’t you come back here and I’ll show you?”
She forced out a disbelieving laugh. “Are you crazy? After what you told me back at the house on Tortuga Boulevard?”
He had the decency to look guilty but quickly recovered. “Maybe you’re the one who’s crazy. After what I told you, why else would you have kissed me.”
“Like you said earlier, we meant something to each other once. And as you know, some habits are harder to break than others. It meant nothing, just like our making love obviously meant nothing to you. Consider it something I gave you for old times’ sake. But what I’d rather have right now is some answers. Tell me the truth about what’s going on, Tony. There’s no reason you can’t be honest with me.”
“Well now, Linda, that’s where you’re wrong. Because from what I seem to remember, honesty was never a good idea when I was around you. It made you more likely to abandon me than anything else. Isn’t that right?”
“This is ridiculous. If you’re not going to give me the answers that I want, then there’s no point in us talking. I’m going to fix us something to eat. You rest while I do that. After I eat, I’ll drive you back to Sacramento. Back to your real friends. To Justine, who is the woman you’re supposed to be kissing, not me.”
His lips pressed grimly together. “That’s probably what you should do. I’m grateful you’ve taken care of me, but I’ve missed a very important meeting and I need to reschedule. Unfortunately I can’t stand without falling on my ass. And have you forgotten that someone is trying to kill you? And that someone might be a cop?”
“So you say. But you also say you’re a big bad drug dealer. Either way, I’m not safe. From the dirty cop. Or from you.”
With that, she slammed her way out of the room, willing the tears forming to stay at bay.
But they came anyway.
Later, when she’d gathered enough courage, she went in to check with Tony. She told herself that now that he was better, she would indeed drive him back to Sacramento. Only when she stepped into his room, she could tell immediately he’d relapsed. He was lying in bed, but he’d kicked off all his blankets, and before she even reached him she could tell he was shaking.
Once again, he was burning hot.
Helpless. Having to depend on her to take care of him.
And even though she shouldn’t have felt relieved by any of that, she was.
Because it meant they’d have more time together. Here. Alone. Without the world or their past to intrude and ruin things.
It wouldn’t last long, but for however long it lasted, Linda would enjoy it.