Damaged Souls (Broken Man)

chapter Seven


Delaney looked over at Logan as he munched his popcorn and enjoyed the movie, oblivious to all of the problems in the world. It must be nice to be so innocent, she decided as she spied the empty seat next to Logan. I can’t believe how much I miss him.

She still saw him. At school, at work, and even back at the house when he mowed the lawn. But, it just wasn’t the same. It was almost like he had put up a protective shield since that awful night a couple weeks earlier.

They talked, but not about anything. It’s just awkward, Delaney thought to herself as she tried to understand what Greg was feeling as she remembered their aborted conversations of the last couple weeks. Can it be that hard to talk to me, she wondered. Maybe we just aren’t meant to be together.

Maybe I should tell him how I feel, Delaney considered the alternatives. But that would be difficult, especially since I’m not even sure what it is I am feeling. I thought I did before that night, but now everything is so complicated, especially after what happened with Mitch.

I wonder why Greg doesn’t like him, Delaney remembered her date with Mitch on Friday night. He was a total gentleman, she had noticed the way he held the door for her and how he laughed at her silly stories. I think Jack and Amanda also like him, Delaney smiled as she remembered Jack giving him the not so subtle once over.

And he’s a good kisser. She had not planned to kiss him during that first date, but Delaney had surprised herself by returning his kiss after he walked her to the door. Yes, she definitely had felt something during that moment on the porch, and she was still a little mad a Jack for embarrassing her by flashing the porch light.

Maybe Greg and I are just meant to be friends, she tried to explain away her feelings for him. Yes, I love him and I know he loves me, but we might be confusing our friendship and feelings for one another with something that really isn’t there. I wish this was easier, Delaney decided as she tried to go back to watching the movie.

I wish Greg would just tell me how he feels.

* * *

Greg felt nothing but exhaustion as he let the hot water soothe his tired body. Nothing is going right these days, he thought about how much it was going to cost to fix his old beat up truck. Maybe I can get it started again and it can make it through another week..

I’m not sure I’m going to make it though, he doubted himself as he lathered up. No, he didn’t mind the work, that wasn’t the problem. He could work all day and night if he needed to. No, the problem was Delaney and his inability to control his thoughts for her.

Why did I even go there, he remembered that night as he rinsed the soap from his body. I shouldn’t have forced the issue and everything would still be fine between us. I am so stupid, he condemned himself as he washed his hair.

“Mitch Caldwell,” Greg sneered the name of his conqueror. Why does it have to be him, he figured it was just another one of their long lost competitions carried over from grade school. He wouldn’t even know how to handle a girl like Delaney.

Delaney was way too complex for a shallow moron like Mitch. What appeared simple, innocent, and beautiful on the surface was much more complicated as you got to know her and sorted through the many layers of her personality. But, Mitch wasn’t interested in her complexity or personality. He just wanted to go out with her because she was the prettiest girl in school, a shiny trophy awarded for his athletic prowess.

Greg had tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but now, it simply wasn’t happening. Sure his pedigree looked good. Star quarterback, decent student, Division One football scholarship, good looking in the eyes of all the girls. But, Greg knew the reality behind the image.

It was just a carefully orchestrated front. He was like the entitled star athlete on television who said all the right things on camera and then was totally different once the lights were turned off. Yeah, Mitch was smooth and polished at first glance, but Greg had access to the dirty work behind the scenes.

Yeah, Mitch and his posse, primarily the offensive lineman who protected his ass on and off the field. Just a group of bullies who had first formed way back in middle school, hoping to ride the coattails of this quarterbacking phenom. They left Greg alone, mainly out of deference to his past friendship with Mitch, but they could be brutal on the weaker kids, especially when it came to their idea of locker room fun.

As Greg exited the shower and grabbed a towel to dry off, he thought back to the incident that destroyed any leftover hope of him and Mitch rekindling their friendship while at the same time officially ended Greg’s football career. It happened during the beginning of eighth grade, the fog finally starting to lift from Greg’s mind after a productive summer two years removed from his father’s death.

It was the summer he and Delaney became best friends. They did everything together that summer. Riding bikes to the beach, going out to eat, and just hanging out together as friends, something still possible at the innocent age of thirteen. It was also the summer he met Jack and Amanda.

At first, he thought it was odd that Delaney spent so much time with this couple that weren’t her parents, but soon, he came to understand why. They were just different than Delaney’s father and girlfriend, actually, they were different than any parents he knew. They never really talked about it much, but Greg gradually cobbled together the story of Delaney’s parents’ divorce, the relationship between Jack and Delaney’s mother, and the coupling of Jack and Amanda after her death.

Greg really liked both of them. Amanda was a beautiful newly expectant mother and a trained Psychologist able to talk about anything without making you feel analyzed or scrutinized. He always felt comfortable talking with her, and Amanda even seemed to make progress with Greg’s mother during the few sessions she managed to attend.

Jack was a little harder to get to know. The General Manager at one of the nicest resorts in town, he was serious and intimidating at first, unsure of this boy hanging around his new house and growing family. But, he gradually warmed to him, and soon, Greg found himself spending more and more time with Jack, Amanda, and Delaney.

It was during one of these visits that the subject of football came up. Greg remembered the conversation with Jack as they casually tossed the football, a simple activity that somehow made the conversation come more naturally between two cautious participants.

“You’ve got some pretty good hands,” Jack complimented him after a difficult catch.

“And you’ve got a terrible arm,” Greg remembered his flippant response as he tossed the ball back to Jack.

“Thanks,” Jack wasn’t bothered by the insult. “But seriously, you should think about going out for the team this year.

“I don’t know,” he had responded, although the idea had occurred to him. “But I’ll think about it.”

Greg surprised himself by showing up on the first day of practice, curious as to what the reaction would be. The response from the other players turned out to be cold as expected, but warmed slightly as they soon realized his and Mitch’s relationship had not skipped a beat, at least not on the football field. Mitch found Greg open again and again, connecting with unspoken words and laser like passes that absolutely shredded the defense.

As he put on a pair of boxers, Jack recalled the boisterous locker room environment after that practice, fueled by an excellent first day and led by the star quarterback. The loud music, the banging metal of the locker doors, the crude insults. It was truly a predator’s lair, and unfortunately, a weaker prey chose the wrong day to trespass.

Greg couldn’t remember if the two boys who emerged from the showers were on the cross country team or in the band, it really didn’t matter where they came from. No, it was just the wrong place and wrong time for these skinny kids as they tried to make their way through the obstacle course of overgrown boys on the cusp of manhood. As he heard the sound of snapping towels and watched the animals circle their victims, Greg knew these boys were in trouble.

Greg eyed Mitch, for once not at the center of the huddle that had formed. He waited for the leader to say something, anything to change the play that had been called. But, seeing the look in his eyes and the cruel smile on his face, Greg realized how much his grade school friend had changed and knew he wasn’t going to call the needed audible.

“Cut it out,” Greg broke into the huddle as the lineman broke out the athletic tape and he saw two naked scared boys about to be taped to the bench.

“Who the f*ck do you think you are,” Greg remembered the biggest animal of the pack, Jeff Gross, cursing at him and looking to their leader for permission to continue.

“Alright guys, cut it out,” Greg remembered Mitch smirking at him and waving off his soldiers like a Mafia Don. “They’ve had enough.”

Greg had seen enough as well, and as he laid down on his bed, he recalled not returning to football practice the next day. He also remembered his and Mitch’s icy relationship from that day forward.

But, he wasn’t going to tell Delaney that story. No, he had already said enough. Greg was done digging that hole, and knew that right now, being around her could only make matters worse.

I wished I had asked her just a day earlier, Greg regretted one of his many near misses as he thought about Delaney and pictured her lovely face projected on his ceiling. Things would be different right now. We would still be talking, and then, we could figure everything out. If only I had been able to say those simple words.

Then, she could have told that a*shole no.

* * *

“We’re home,” Jack looked up from his tablet as he heard Hurricane Logan arrive home with Delaney.

“Hey bud,” he smiled as Logan jumped onto the couch with him and he tried to buy Amanda a couple more minutes of sleep. “How was the movie.”

“It was great, Dad. The dogs got their own hotel and Delaney got me some popcorn,” Logan gave a short description of his day. “Where’s Mommy.”

“She’s in the bedroom napping,” Jack knew not for long as he suggested the inevitable. “Why don’t you go see her.”

“Okay, Daddy,” he replied as he jumped off the couch and ran in the direction of the bedroom.

“How much soda did you give him,” he questioned Delaney as she joined him on the couch.

“Don’t worry, not too much,” Delaney replied without enthusiasm as Jack could tell something was wrong.

“You thinking about Greg again,” he reluctantly assumed his wife’s usual role.

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it all day,” she hesitated to talk to Jack about it. “I just wish I knew what he was thinking.”

“I wish you wouldn’t worry so much,” he tried to make her feel better. “Greg’s okay, everything will be back to normal soon.”

“You think so,” she tried to find hope as she probed for information. “Have you talked to him.”

“Not really about that,” Jack remembered his last girl talk with Greg as he smiled. “You know me and Greg, our conversations aren’t quite like your’s and Amanda’s”

“I know, Jack, but did he say anything.”

“Honey, he really didn’t say anything,” Jack tried to explain the dynamics of how men talked. “But, he implied that he will be back around once the prom is over. I just think he needs a little time.”

“Did he say that,” Delaney still didn’t understand.

“Not quite in those words,” Jack paused and wished for a second that he only had boys. “But, he did bring up a mulching project we had talked about and specifically set a date for next Sunday.”

“You guys talked about mulch,” Delaney shook her head. “Unbelievable.”

“Delaney,” he looked directly into her eyes as he tried again to explain. “What he was saying is that he will be back around once the prom is over. Don’t you understand.”

“You guys are ridiculous,” she reminded him of both Amanda and her mother with one simple sentence. “Communicating through mulch. What are you going to think of next.”

“I don’t know,” Jack replied as he knew she was feeling a little better. “But don’t worry. I know he is going to be back, okay. Just trust me on this one.”

* * *

“Mommy, I’m home,” Logan announced his arrival as he ran into the bedroom.

“Hi, baby,” Amanda smiled as she gave him a kiss. “Did you have fun.”

“I did, the movie was great.”

“That’s good,” she tempered his enthusiasm just a bit. “And did you behave for Delaney.”

“I was good,” Logan couldn’t look at her as he answered and she knew he was fibbing.

“Logan,” she stretched out his name. “What happened.”

“Well,” he looked down at his sneakers. “I didn’t listen one time and Delaney got me in trouble.”

“You mean you got in trouble,” Amanda corrected him as she tried not to smile. “Are you sure it was only one time.”

“I’m sure, Mom,” he looked straight at her and she knew he was telling the truth. “I promise.”

“That’s okay then,” she forgave him. “Do you want to lay down and watch cartoons with me.”

“Sure Mommy,” he climbed into bed and snuggled up next to her as she turned on the television.

He reminds me so much of Jack, Amanda smiled as Logan’s attention turned to the tv. He has taken on so many of his mannerisms at four years old it is scary. He even gets his hair cut like Jack’s, and that raised eye brow he tries to imitate drives me crazy.

Pretty soon he’ll be having logical discussions with me, Amanda wasn’t sure she was willing to negotiate with a four year old as she remembered her earlier conversation with Jack. I didn’t know he thought about having another baby that much, there is so much more to him than what is just on the surface. Are we ready to have another baby?

I’m not sure I can go through it again, Amanda remembered the morning sickness, all of the mood swings, and feeling just fat. And, it would delay my career for another five years. Do I really want to do that?

I love this boy so much, Amanda answered her question as she listened to Logan giggle and remembered all the wonderful things about being pregnant. And, I love that man in a way I can’t even describe, she reminisced about how he made her feel earlier that afternoon. Of course I want to have another baby with him.

Why wouldn’t I?