Crossroad to Love (Fab Five Series)

chapter 15

Angie entered the sitting room of the suite to find her three friends deep in conversation. Katy had returned to the suite, apparently, while Angie had been in the bedroom. Thank God, Angie thought. I couldn’t get through this without her. Somehow, through the years, Katy had been the one in the group they all had turned to in times of trouble. Even when she’d had her own troubles, she had remained stoic and strong, doing what needed to be done.

“Oh, Katy, I’m so sorry. Who would have ever thought?” Lizzie consoled her as Marianne noticed Angie standing in the doorway.

Katy was also looking at Angie, a worried look on her face. She asked quietly, “Angie, honey, are you all right?”

The other two looked up. Angie’s face was splotchy and her eyes were red-rimmed and swollen. It was very apparent that the evening had not gone well for their friend.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Katy asked. “It would appear that we have both had a very eventful evening.”

Lizzie and Marianne nodded. They had had such high hopes earlier that the evening would go well for both Angie and Katy. After hearing Katy’s sad story and seeing Angie so upset, it seemed like so long ago that the two were excitedly preparing for their dates.

Angie looked at them sadly and said, “There is something I need to tell the three of you. It’s something that happened a long time ago and until tonight no one knew except my mother. I told Michael and now the time has come to tell the three of you.” Angie was already dreading having to tell the story for a second time that night after remaining silent for so many years.

“Sit down, and take your time.” Lizzie made room for Angie on the couch as Katy handed her a glass of water.

“Whatever could it be, Angie, that has you so upset?” Marianne asked warily.

Angie sat down next to Katy. Katy took her hand as she began telling her friends about her nightmare of fifteen years ago. She slowly told them everything, stopping a few times to wipe her eyes. She could no more control her tears than she could control Michael’s hurt. I’ve lost him for good this time. Will I lose my three best friends, as well? I can’t bear that. They are all I have left.

Her friends waited for her to continue.

“And now, I have lost Michael forever. All because I thought I was doing the best thing for him all those years ago by setting him free to meet someone who could give him the family that he wanted so badly. I told him it was all because of my career. I had nothing left but my career, so it seemed like a good enough reason at the time.” She finished her story and looked at her friends. “I realize now that I was not in my right mind at the time. I should have received grief counseling, but it never entered my mind to seek out something like that. I guess I took the easy way out. Although, looking back, it hasn’t been easy at all.”

“I can’t believe you have held all of this inside for so long.” Lizzie was the first to break the silence that had followed Angie’s story.

“Angie, I am so sorry. Why didn’t you feel you could tell us, of all people?” Marianne asked.

“You gave up the love of your life because you were afraid to tell him this. Oh, Angie, you should have trusted Michael more. You should have let him grieve with you. You should have given him a choice. He might have, no, I feel sure that he would have chosen to stay with you. He loves you with all his heart. He always has.” Katy was confused that her friend could have been so blind. But the mind can play strange tricks on us, she thought as she took Angie in her arms to comfort her.

“Do you all hate me too? I’m sure Michael hates me now. He was so cold to me after I told him. He told me to leave.”

“He was in shock, Ang,” Katy answered with a sigh. She of all people could understand that.

“We could never hate you, Angie. It’s just hard for us to understand why you felt that you had to keep this to yourself,” Lizzie replied.

“We need to forget about that and help Angie through this, now. She has kept all of this bottled up inside for so long. She needs to let it all out. She needs to grieve. She has never let herself do that. She needs us to comfort and support her. She does not need us to judge her,” Marianne said in her sternest nurse’s voice.

“You’re right, of course, Marianne. We, like Michael, are still in shock,” Lizzie replied.

“Angie, I really don’t believe that Michael hates you. I do believe, though, that he needs time. He needs to grieve. You never gave him the chance to do that. He has just learned that fifteen years ago he lost a baby that he didn’t even know existed. He just learned that there was a much deeper reason that you divorced him. And he doesn’t understand why you thought you had to do that,” Katy offered, knowing all too well what grief can do to a person’s thoughts.

“And he is hurt that you didn’t trust him enough to tell him the truth, I am sure,” Lizzie added.

“Give him the space he needs. Next week, when you get back to work, you will just have to take it slow, feel him out, and see how he responds to you. Then, ask him to talk with you about it again, after some time has passed. The two of you need to grieve for your baby together. That is something you never did. That’s the only way that the two of you stand a chance,” Marianne advised wisely. If only I possessed this much wisdom when it comes to my own problem, she thought wryly.

“I really think that if the love is still there, which it so obviously is, then the two of you will find your way back to each other. It just may take a little longer now.” Katy gave her friend a reassuring hug.

“I agree. Don’t count Michael out yet. I know he loves you. The two of you were brought back into each other’s lives for a reason. Now that he knows the whole truth, maybe it will be even better the second time around,” Marianne offered.

“I feel better now that it’s all out in the open. I am so sorry that I didn’t tell you all sooner. I just couldn’t face it. I thought that if no one knew, then I could get over it. That didn’t work, though. I have spent many years agonizing over it all.” Angie smiled at her three oldest and dearest friends in the world.

“Don’t give up, sweetie,” Lizzie said as the other two nodded in agreement.

“What were you all talking so seriously about when I came into the room? I heard you telling Katy you were sorry. Did your date not go well, either, Kate?” Angie was relieved to get the subject off her for a few minutes.

Katy took a deep breath and told her friend what she had already told the other two. She related the whole saga of what had happened with Ryan earlier in the evening. “I really felt a connection to him. I really thought that he was a man I could build a future with. Now I guess I know why I felt so close to him. He mentioned love at first sight. I think it may have been more than that drawing us to each other.”

“How do you feel about it now that you know who he is?” Angie asked.

“I was shocked, of course, when he told me. But I tried not to let him see that. I just don’t know how he’d have reacted if I had told him that I was the Kathryn that he had tried to contact ten years ago to apologize to. It’s not his fault that his wife and her boss were in the car that killed Bill and Bree. I realize that. I also realize that he lost as much as I did that night. But I don’t think he realizes that,” answered Katy.

“So do you still think that you could have a future with him?” asked Marianne.

“I wish I could say yes. But I’ll eventually have to tell him the truth and I just don’t know how he’ll react. He has spent all these years being bitter and feeling guilty. I’ve dealt with my feelings. I spent ten years dealing with them. I will never get over losing two of the most precious people in my life, but it’s time to finally move on. I think that Ryan was feeling that too. But if I tell him the truth, I am afraid it will throw him right back into the dark place which he has so apparently been in all these years. I really think that given the chance, our feelings would grow into something wonderful for both of us. I just don’t know if we will get that chance, now. Our life together is probably over before it gets a chance to begin. Maybe we met just so he could finally apologize to me. Maybe there was never meant to be anything more. Not the great love I was hoping for,” she answered sadly.

“Well, Katy, my friend, there’s only one way to find out. You’ll have to tell him. You will never be able to move on with him if you don’t. It would eventually come out anyway,” Lizzie advised her good friend.

“I know. I’ll just have to find the right time, before things go any further between us. And I’ll have to be prepared to deal with the fallout. I may lose my chance with him, or it could set us both free from the past. I will never know until I tell him. I could break it off with him and never tell him, but I don’t want to do that. I really need to call Alex in the morning, though, and tell him what’s going on. It will be a shock for him to hear that the man I told him about is the husband of the woman in the other car.” Katy worried that her son might be opposed to her having a relationship with Ryan now.

“Alex is a level-headed young man. I don’t think he would blame Ryan for what happened. Like you said, it’s not Ryan’s fault,” Angie said.

“I am not going to tell him until the end of the week, though. I want to enjoy the rest of our week and spend a little more time with Ryan before it ends. I at least can have that, can’t I?” Katy mused.

“What about working with the restaurant now? You would have to see him when you come back out to Dallas,” Mari ventured.

“I would like to do the job. I really like all the O’Gradys and hate to let them down. It will be a good start for my business, as well. Surely, Ryan and I can work together civilly. I’d probably be working more with Chloe than Ryan anyway”

“I hope you can do it. It’s such a good opportunity for you. Now, I think we’ve all had a very stressful night and it’s time to hit the hay. We can still get a few hours’ sleep and maybe things will look a little brighter in the morning.” Marianne yawned as she stood up. “I need to begin thinking about dealing with my problems too. It’s been so nice to forget about it for these past few days.”

“Anytime you need to talk, you know we are here for you,” Katy reminded her.

“I know, but some things just have to be dealt with alone. I need to make a decision soon,” Marianne answered gloomily as she headed for the bedroom.

Her three friends looked at each other sadly as they watched her walk away.

“It’s amazing that we are all at such a crossroad in our lives right now, isn’t it?” Lizzie asked.

“This trip was so needed for all of us. We just didn’t know it was going to be so eventful,” Katy answered.

“When is Rex coming?” Angie looked at Lizzie.

“He’ll be here on Thursday. I need to pick him up at the airport in the afternoon. We’re all supposed to have dinner at ‘Chloe’s Place’ that night.”

“I wonder if Michael will still go to dinner with us.” Angie suddenly remembered that he, too, had been invited.

“If he does, I hope it won’t be too awkward for you,” Katy replied.

“If I’m going to have to work with him, I may as well get used to being around him, just like you will have to with Ryan.” Angie said with a long sigh, wondering how she could possibly be so close to him and not be able to touch him or reach out to him, laugh with him. What if he decided to pass the hotel project on to someone else now? What if he could not stand to work with her?

“I’m going to take Marianne’s advice and try to get some shut eye. You two should probably try to rest a little too.” Lizzie headed for bed.

“I’m going to have a drink to calm my nerves first,” Angie replied.

“And I will join you.” Katy said as she headed for the mini bar.

“Alright, suit yourselves. I am dead on my feet. See you in a few hours.”

“Good night, Lizzie,” Angie and Katy both said as they sat on the couch, drinks in hand.

“What a mess we have both gotten ourselves into tonight, my friend.” Katy was thoughtful as she looked at Angie.

“I know. Who would have thought that after all these years, I would meet up with Michael again and actually have a chance to work things out, only to mess it up.”

“You did the best thing by telling him the truth, Angie. You could never truly be happy if you had kept it bottled up forever. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes, but I only hope I still have a chance with him. I really do love him, you know.”

“I know, sweetie, I know. I have always known,” Katy answered quietly.

They finished their drinks and then each retired to her bedroom to try and catch at least a few hours of peaceful slumber.