“I can’t promise you won’t, but I can promise I’ll fight everything to make sure it doesn’t. I’ll do anything I can so you never have to feel that way. That’s the only promise I can make.”
Aarabelle sleeps soundly on Liam’s shoulder and I know the choice before me. Either I walk away from Liam now, save whatever is left of the heart I have left. Guard myself and be careful about who I let in, or give everything I have to him. Take the chance to end up with nothing or maybe the greatest love I’ve ever known. Liam and I have a chance to create a new love that I never had.
Aaron was easy and known. He was comfort and stability. I think even with his affair he wouldn’t have left me. We would’ve maybe found a way to get through it. It wouldn’t have been easy, but we have a kid, a life, a marriage together. I’ll never know those answers or whether it would’ve been true, but I loved him. Even now, as hurt as I am, Aaron holds an intangible piece of my heart and soul. It’ll always be his.
“If we do this,” I hesitate, “You’ll be careful?” It’s a stupid question, and that word is abhorrent to them. They don’t know how to be careful. It’s a hero complex, but he needs to know I need that.
“Natalie, I’ll do everything I can to come home to you.”
“Then let’s go back to the house. I’m ready for bed.”
I take his hand and we walk back to the car.
Nerves start to take hold as we get back to the house. I try to tell myself it’s only Liam, but then again—it’s Liam.
“I’m going to put her down.” My voice trembles. Smooth, Natalie.
“I’ll come with you,” he offers and places his hand on my back.
Great.
We climb the stairs and reach the spare bedroom where I’ve set up her portacrib. It faces the back of the house so the sun shouldn’t wake her first thing in the morning. I hold her a little longer than normal and kiss her forehead. I’m stalling.
Liam kisses her cheek, then kisses mine. He leaves the room and I let out a deep breath.
I need a fucking drink.
“Here goes nothing,” I say to myself and place her in her crib. “Sleep all night, my little princess.”
Mommy’s going to be busy.
Well, now where do I go? The bedroom? The bathroom? Do I have to slip into something? I feel like a dipshit.
I decide I really do need a drink and head to the kitchen. Liam is standing against the counter sipping a beer.
“Seems I’m not the only one,” I say with a laugh and grab the beer from his hand.
He grabs my waist and pulls me against him.
“You don’t have to be nervous. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want,” he says against my neck. His nose trails from my neck to my shoulder, and I place the bottle down on the counter behind him. Slowly his fingers dip into the fabric where my back isn’t exposed. He lingers there, grazing against my skin, while his tongue traces my neck up to my ear.
I shiver and heat pools in my core.
“I want to go slow. I want to savor every moment with you. I want to touch you, taste you, feel you, and then we’ll do it again.” His deep voice is rich and full of promise.
I melt in his arms.
“Liam, I’ve . . .” I stop speaking when his tongue traces the shell of my ear.
“You what, sweetheart?”
“I’ve . . .” I let out a shaky breath. “I’ve only ever been with Aaron,” I admit and tense. To some this might be a turn off. I don’t know. I only know how to do what Aaron liked and maybe I didn’t do it well. Maybe that’s why he sought another woman. “What if . . .”
Liam’s hands drift up my back and grip my shoulders from behind. He pulls me back so we’re eye to eye. “What if?”
“What if I suck?”
“I’m going to keep my first thought in check,” he replies with a smartass grin.
I stand waiting for him to be serious.
“Natalie, stop it. You’re perfect and we’ll talk. If you don’t like something, just tell me.” Liam’s eyes don’t waver. He waits until I nod.
Then he scoops me into his arms and pulls me against his chest.
“Put me down.”
“Hush.”
“I can—” I start to say, but he silences me with his lips.
Liam carries me with almost no effort up the stairs. We enter the bedroom and he carefully kicks it closed with his foot. He holds me and kisses me nonstop as he lays me on the bed.
“I love you,” he assures me.
“I love you.”
“I’m going to show you how much,” Liam’s eyes don’t leave mine as his hand travels from my face all the way along my body. He leans down allowing me to feel his weight.
I’m warm everywhere. I want him to touch me, kiss me, and I want to feel him inside of me. The want to be claimed by him is so fierce it rocks me to my core. He strokes the skin on my leg with his fingers. Gradually gliding up and down while staring at me. He inches higher and higher until he’s at the hem of my dress.