“He had a tattoo on his ribs and he ground his teeth when he slept. I wish it was a lie. He lied to me.”
My body shakes, and as much as I want to believe it’s a lie, there’s a part of me that knows it’s not.
“This is low and fucking ridiculous,” Liam says and he wraps his arms around me.
“I wanted to tell you so many times. And when I saw you today . . .”
My eyes close and I want to wake up from this nightmare. It hurts to breathe.
“Natalie,” Liam’s voice is calm and measured, “All you know is what she’s telling you.”
I look at him in disbelief. “She was there, Liam! She was at his fucking funeral. Who comes to a funeral for someone they just met? Five fucking states away?” I turn and Reanell has Brittany backed against the wall. I head over needing answers. I want every fucking detail. The man who I’ve been grieving was a cheater.
“I knew that man and he wouldn’t have touched you,” Reanell says and points her finger in Brittany’s face. The tears forming in Brittany’s brown eyes, she looks at me with pity.
“How long?” I ask with rage and disgust piercing their way through me. “How long and how many times?”
Brittany steps out of Reanell’s grasp and her face falls. “It wasn’t like that. I swear.”
“What was it like?” I demand an answer.
“I met him and it just happened. I’m so sorry. I-I just wanted to see you. I wanted you to know I’m not . . .”
“Not what?” I ask with tears falling down my cheeks. They burn and fuel my anger.
This night was supposed to be a step forward. A chance to feel alive a little and be a woman. It was my night with Liam and somehow this has turned into the night from hell. Each word shreds my world into pieces and burns them to ash.
“I loved him. We were together for months before I found out. I didn’t want you to find out like this.”
“You wanted me to know. You stupid bitch! You wanted me to know!” Liam’s arms are vices around me as I flail toward her. “If you cared, you could’ve not come to talk to me!”
“When I found out he was married, I ended it. But that didn’t mean I stopped loving him.”
I scoff, “I loved him. You’re selfish, do you know that? Months you were together! We have a child.”
“I saw her.” She looks away ashamed. “I wish things were different.”
“Don’t look away! You need to see my face when I say this to you,” I practically growl the words. I’m so angry! “You could’ve kept your mouth shut and let me be, but no, you had to come make sure I knew. You stupid, selfish whore!” I scream and I’m ready to punch her in the face.
“Natalie, enough,” Liam says as he pulls me away. I’m quaking in anger and disgust. I hate her. I hate everyone.
This can’t be real. I tell myself over and over again. I was starting to be me again, and now I find this out. It’s not real. Still it is. The cruel joke is on me. The echoes of despair scream loudly through my heart. Hollowness overcomes any emotion and I try to shut down. My mind goes back to when I first found out Aaron was dead and how I trained myself to become numb. I search for that power again, but I come up empty.
“Let me go!” I cry out in Liam’s arms.
“Come on, sweetheart.” Liam’s voice is calm and it enrages me.
“Let go of me!” He practically carries me out of the bar, sets me on the ground, and takes my hand. I look up and pull my hand back. “Did you know?”
“Are you fucking kidding me? No, I didn’t know.”
Liam extends his hand and I tremble. He looks at me waiting and I just stand there. I don’t want to touch anyone. My mind starts to run crazy circles and the questions assault me. My heart is shattered and my life feels like a lie.
A man I would’ve lived the rest of my life loving is a lying piece of shit. He slept with another woman when I was pregnant with his child. I cried for months over losing him. I clutched his pillow and sobbed wishing he was home, only to find out he was doing this.
Reanell rushes toward us and places her hand on my shoulder. I look at her and tears continue to fall like rain. “Rea,” my voice is barely a whisper.
The torrent of emotions flow from one to another and I can’t seem to hold on to the anger. I could handle the anger.
“Let Liam take you home.” She nods to Liam who grabs my shoulder and pulls me toward him. “I’ll come by later.”
“Rea,” I say again, begging her to make this a lie. Make this all go away.
“I’ll find out the truth. Just go home. Liam has you.”
The entire walk to the car is a blur. I keep seeing Brittany’s face and imagining my husband kissing her, touching her, and I feel sick. When we reach the car, I lean over and the nausea is too much. My stomach heaves, whether from the news of my husband’s infidelity or the alcohol I’ve drunk, I couldn’t say. I cry and let it out.