Reanell opens the door and stands there. “Oh, Lee . . . you and Jack don’t need to have a date tonight.”
“Jack, Johnny, hell, any man will do. Except for Liam, nope . . . he doesn’t want me like this.” I grab the bottle and pour more down my throat. Might as well, my life went to shit again anyway.
She walks toward me and takes the bottle. Before I can protest, she takes a long drink. “I figure we can both hate life tomorrow.”
I snatch the bottle back from her and she glowers. “Mine. I need it more than you.”
“Before you grab a straw, I think you should talk to me. Where’s Liam?” Reanell looks around and I scoff.
“He left too. I threw myself at him and he left.” I see the disapproval through her eyes. Good. She can be pissed at him too. “Maybe he went back to the bar to find Brittany. She seems like she gets around.”
“Now you’re just being an idiot. Keep talking like that, I’ll take your liquor away,” she chastises me and I begin to cry. “Oh, Natalie . . .”
The tears stream and the numbness I was hoping for morphs into pain. “How could he do this to me?” I sob and she opens her arms. “I thought he loved me. I was pregnant!”
“I know, I know. Let it out.” She doesn’t try to console me more than hugging me and letting me drench her shirt.
“I gave him everything. I-I don’t get it-t.”
“You’re hurting and drunk, so go ahead and cry,” Rea says as she brushes my hair off my face.
I lie in her lap as she plays with my hair. I mumble incoherently about hating him to wishing I could kill him myself. All this time I thought I was married to a different man.
Once I’ve gotten to a point where I’m no longer hiccup-crying, Reanell helps me upstairs. She climbs into bed with me as I lie here wishing I could sleep so I could get a break from my mind. This is what she did after he died. Mason was away and she’d come sleep here so neither of us were alone.
“I wish I could go back in time,” I whisper, holding back the sadness that creeps up.
Rea shifts onto her side, “Yeah? To when?”
“I wouldn’t have tried to make him sleep with me . . .” My eyes close and I fight the sleepiness. “He didn’t even want me.”
Reanell shakes my shoulder, waking me. “Liam wants you. Liam cares for you and that’s why he didn’t sleep with you. You both deserve better than a drunken night of sex because you found out Aaron cheated. Now, shut up and go to sleep. I’m going to owe Mason a blowjob for sleeping here tonight.”
My lips attempt to smile but I fail. I close my eyes, drifting to sleep where the hurt can’t touch me. I welcome the reprieve and pray Brittany and Aaron don’t haunt me in my sleep.
My house is eerily quiet and I fight the urge to go back to her. I sat in my car for an hour after Reanell showed up. Fought with myself to knock on the door but instead I went home. Sitting there wishing I hadn’t pushed her to come tonight. Selfishly, I’d wanted to force her to be with me outside of the walls of her home, to go public.
After two hours of staring at the walls, I need to see her and make sure she’s okay. The way I left wasn’t exactly how I’d planned for the night to end. I wanted to fuck every memory out of her mind. Show her that he’s a prick for ever making her feel like this, but I don’t want it to be because of him. When I take her for the first time, it’ll be because she’s ready, but I had to use every ounce of restraint I had to walk away.
What a mess this whole damn situation is . . . I can’t really bash Aaron because he was my best friend. But I want to bash him because he’s a fool. I can’t push Natalie to be with me because the guilt of falling in love with my best friend’s wife overwhelms me, but I want her so bad I can barely breathe.
I open the door with the key under the plant. I make a mental note to have her change that. She’s asking for something bad to happen.
First, I see the half-empty bottle of Jack on the living room table. I shouldn’t have fucking left her. There was no way in hell I was going to sleep with her tonight. Not that I don’t fall asleep thinking about it every damn night, because she’s the real deal. The girl you bring home to your mother because you want to spend every day with her. She’s not the girl you fuck the night she finds out her husband slept around.
Anger boils inside because he’s a prick. The Aaron I thought I knew wasn’t so selfish. I can’t understand how he could cheat on Lee. She’s beautiful, smart, funny, and loving. He was so willing to throw it all away for someone like her? Thank God I never touched that slut.