“Let what slide?”
“I have plenty of game,” I let her know. “I’ve never had to work hard.”
She snorts and shakes her head. “Arrogant ass.”
“Don’t worry, only you get to see my game,” I gleam and put my arm behind her seat.
Natalie slaps my chest and smiles. “Well, maybe you should try a new playbook because you’re not getting much here, sweetheart.”
“That hurt.”
“You’ll live.”
“You’ll pay for it.”
Natalie laughs, “I’m sooo sure. You don’t scare me, Liam Dempsey. You’re scared of me though.”
“Damn fucking right I am,” I say under my breath but I’m pretty sure she hears me. I’m terrified of her. She’s everything I want and I have no business wanting her. She’s got a kid and has already lost a husband. I live a dangerous life. I love my life and won’t give it up. There’s so much more to fear in this entire thing than just the fact that she’s my best friend’s wife. Natalie has walls and fears that are valid and I know this. And I’m a selfish prick because I really don’t care. If she doesn’t want me, then she can say so, but until then . . . I want it all with her.
We drive the next few minutes and she stares out the window. I don’t know how to handle her sometimes. Like with the tears. Tears I don’t do. When we pull up to the bar, Natalie sighs. She gets so deep in her own worries, it’s hard to pull her out. I know this isn’t easy and I hate it. I don’t have the baggage of worrying what everyone thinks the way she seems to. Quite frankly, I don’t give a shit. People will judge no matter what, and Natalie and I are grown adults.
“Lee?” I ask her and her head falls to the side as she looks at me.
“You ready to stake your claim, Dreamboat?” she smiles and my worry fades away.
“Stake my claim?”
“You know . . . let everyone know we’re together.”
I lean forward and she turns to look at me. “Is this what you want?”
“Liam, of course.”
“No, I’m serious.” I pause because I want her to actually hear me. “If you need time, if you don’t want to keep going, we can just go back to friends. I’m only saying this before I get any closer to you. I’ve known you a long time and it feels like once we flipped the switch from friends to more, I don’t want to slow down.” I admit this because I know she needs to hear it. She’s had a shit year and I can respect that, but my feelings for her grow each day.
“That’s what scares me. I think about you all the time. I worry this isn’t normal because it feels so easy.” She looks out the front window and then back to me. “I care about you so much. You make me happy and . . . I just . . .”
“Just?”
“I don’t want to go too fast and then screw it up. I don’t want to lose you either. I have to think about Aarabelle, and I worry about when we take the next steps, how I know I won’t be able to guard my heart from you.” Natalie’s eyes are open and she’s vulnerable. I know how she struggles with letting go and it’ll be next to impossible to ignore the feeling that a ghost is watching.
When we’re in her house, it’s strong. I see Aaron around every corner and it freaks me the fuck out. I can’t imagine what it’s like for her.
“I’ll never hurt you intentionally. You don’t have to guard your heart.”
Natalie’s eyes fill with tears and I feel my body start to go into panic mode. She swipes at her eyes. “You’re going to make me fall in love with you, aren’t you?”
“I’m pretty sure that’s a done deal.”
She laughs and opens the car door, breaking the moment. “We’ll have to see about that.”
When she reaches me on the other side of the car, I pull her against me. “Yeah, we will.”
I haven’t been to this bar in years, but the place hasn’t changed too much. There’s a dance floor in the middle and it’s surrounded by tables. There are two bars on either side and there’s a huge bar in the back of the room. The pool tables are always occupied, but maybe I can convince Natalie to play a game or two. Maybe she’ll need me to teach her.
I start to imagine what she’ll look like with the stick, bent over the pool table. The way her hair will fall and her eyes will find mine. I’ll walk behind her and feel her ass press against my dick. The way she’ll wiggle . . .
Nuns.
Puppies.
AK-47s.
Diapers.
Glad I got that back under control. We find the table where a few of the guys are already sitting.
“Hey, fucker!” Quinn stands and claps me on the shoulder, already giving me his bullshit-disapproving stare.
“Hey, where’s what’s-her-name?” I ask knowing he cycles through women like it’s nothing. I don’t think he’s ever fucked the same girl twice.