“I would’ve if I knew where it was,” Liam scoffs jokingly.
The emotions swirl through me. He could’ve woken me but he handled it. Yes, he tied a diaper on her, but it’s sweet and shows, once again, how lucky I am. We both have fears about going into this, but right now, I don’t want to fight it anymore. There are things we have to figure out, but Liam has given me a part of myself I’d forgotten about. He sees me as a woman, not a widow.
“Look,” I say as he sits beside me. “It’s easy.” It takes me literally ten seconds to have the diaper on her.
“I swear I had defective ones.”
“Sure you did,” I say as I pick up Aarabelle. Liam follows behind me to her room. He kisses her head and says goodnight then I place her in her crib. Every night when I put her to bed, I say a prayer for her and ask her daddy to watch over her. Then we thank him for allowing Liam in our lives and ask for him to help us heal.
When I turn, Liam is standing at her door, leaning against it. I stand across from him and we gaze at each other. Both of us are saying so much right now even though nothing is being spoken. My heart and my eyes tell him everything.
Liam leans forward and brushes the hair from my eyes and lingers a little longer. His thumb brushes across my lip and I sigh.
“Liam,” my voice is a breathy whisper.
“I should probably leave,” he says as his finger rubs back and forth.
My eyes close and I breathe him in. “You probably should.”
I want him to stay, but I need him to go. My defenses are down and I’m not ready.
“Okay,” his voice is low and rough. “I should. Plus, you’re sick and need to rest.”
“Yeah, probably . . .” I grip his shirt and hold on. “Or . . . we could snuggle on the couch?” I say, reluctant to let him go. I want him to stay and this is my safe way of having him close. I know men don’t want to freaking snuggle, but I just want to lay with him, and there’s no way I’m ready to have him in my bed.
Liam laughs quietly and pulls me in his arms. “Yeah, I could go for that.”
“Okay, Sparkles, do you have the applications for the new team?” Mark requests, walking in my office.
We’ve taken over for a company that failed at two contracts for support in Africa, and now that Cole Security Forces won them, we need to staff them. I’ve become extremely passionate about my new role. I feel like I’m ensuring everyone comes home safe. The issues the company had previously were due to poor planning. I now make sure the teams we send over there have all the equipment they need. It’s also given me a chance to see that Jackson spares no cost for it. Any time I’ve asked for more funding for supplies, he grants it with no questions. He’d rather cut funding on our end than on the front lines.
“Yeah, they’re right here.” I lift a stack of papers and keep writing. “I hate that you somehow have given me the call sign I could kill you for.” My middle name is Star thanks to my father’s hippie days. Mark found out on my application and said I sparkled like a star.
“It’s a gift. You should’ve seen Catherine the first time I called her ‘Kitty.’” He stands there and laughs.
“I hope she punched you.”
“Nah, she loves me.”
“How is it you manage to drive people insane but they still keep you around?” I ask, still keeping my eyes on the paper I’m trying to fix. The wording is wrong and I want to get it right.
“You know you can take a break and we have killer coffee,” Mark’s New York accent is thick and I can’t help but want to mock him. It was the one thing they’ve always made fun of him for.
“Cawfee?” I smile and mimic him, putting the pen on the desk.
“I see we got jokes.”
“Only with you, Twilight.”
“See?” Mark says as he sprawls out on the loveseat I have in my office. “We make a good team. You’re Sparkles and I’m Twilight. It’s like a match made in heaven.”
I laugh, “I think you’re hitting on me, Mr. Dixon.” I know he’s not, but it’s fun to rile him up.
“No, I’m just kidding.” He lifts his hands in mock defense. “I wouldn’t disrespect you, Natalie.”
“Calm down,” I shake my head. “I know you’re not. Aaron would kick your ass,” I reply jokingly and my hand flies to my mouth. “I meant . . . I . . .”
Mark stands and heads over toward my desk. “He would, and so would Liam. It’s okay.”
“Did someone say my name?” I hear Liam’s voice and my eyes snap up. Oh, great.
“Hey,” I greet him and walk over.
“Hey, Dreamboat!” Mark smiles and they shake hands and hug.
“What’s up, man? Long time no see.”
Liam and Mark finish saying hello and catching up briefly before Mark heads out. I don’t know if Liam heard, and if he did, whether it would bother him. Regardless, I’m surprised to see him here.
“I wasn’t expecting you.” My voice is wary.
He enters and closes my door. “I know. I sent you a text but you didn’t answer. I figured I’d just stop by.”
“Well, I’m happy to see you.” He steps closer and I take a step back. Why am I retreating from this man?