Shen turned to Minh. “But you’re right, too. The prince is making a huge transformation. He’s been living under the expectations of his father for so long, when he finally realizes what he truly wants isn’t what he has thought all along, it’s a massive life shift.”
Chris expected Minh to say something snotty here, like I told you so or something equally as annoying, but when he looked at her face, he saw something strange. Almost like she wasn’t…there. Like she’d gone somewhere else.
“It’s the theme of the whole work. That the steps one person followed on the path of their destiny might not be the right steps for another person. No one should let other people’s expectations take the place of what they truly want,” finished Shen. “So you’re both right, and ideally, the music will reflect both perspectives.”
There was silence in the booth for a moment. Minh still had that weird look on her face. But before Chris could ask her what was wrong, Shen switched the subject. “Hey, Chris. I actually came up here because that investor guy is on the phone. Wants to talk to you.”
“Tell him I’ll call him back.” He was worried about Minh.
Shen headed off again with a wave, leaving Minh and Chris sitting alone. She had snapped back, it seemed, but she was eyeing him warily. He had hurt her with that “only world you know” comment. Was that why she’d spaced out for a bit?
He sighed. “Hey. I’m sorry. I got really worked up and acted like a jerk. I know I’m too emotional sometimes, especially about anything that has to do with this movie.”
She looked down at her hands. “That’s okay. Just because we’re sleeping together doesn’t mean you have to be nice to me.”
He frowned. That sounded wrong. It made him feel wrong, but for the first time it hit him that he wasn’t sure what was right. What did he want from her?
But before he could respond, she took a deep breath. “That’s not what I was upset about. Not really. I just…” Her voice got quiet and she picked at the fabric of her skirt, like she was nervous. “Shen just said something that made me…made me think.”
“About what?”
She looked at him, eyes sad and confused. “In my earliest memories, I can remember my dad telling me and my little sister that if we wanted to succeed in life, we would need to be as respectable as possible. We had to be upstanding citizens and polite to a fault and conservative dressers and—well, all kinds of stuff. But it all boiled down to conforming to people’s expectations of what makes a good person. A respectable person. Being different was a disadvantage.”
She looked down at her notebook. “I used to get annoyed by it, but I wanted to please him, so I did what he said. It was only later in life that I got why he did it.” She took a deep breath. “He knew we would be judged more harshly by default, simply because of the color of our skin. He knew, because he’d been through the same thing. It was protection, I guess. He wanted to keep us safe. And he used to say that I had to be extra good and extra respectable if I wanted to be noticed.”
Whoa. Chris hadn’t expected that answer. But now that he’d heard it…
The way she acted, all those rules of hers, made more sense. It still seemed extreme to him, but he hadn’t had to live through that life. It had been his choice to look different, while she saw her looks as a disadvantage.
“It didn’t really sink in until I was in seventh grade, though. That’s when my orchestra teacher told me that she’d never known a black girl who could play the violin. And then she said it must be because of my Asian half. Because those people are usually great at music.”
“Your teacher was a bigot.”
Minh shrugged. “Yeah. But she proved my dad’s point. It made sense to make sure that no one could ever use my behavior or the way I dressed as an excuse not to treat me as a person. After that, I made sure I did everything perfectly. I enjoy playing. But composing is my passion.” She blushed, as though she’d just betrayed a big secret, and he wondered if maybe that was the case. “But I compose by the rules because it’s who I am. It keeps me respectable.”
Well. Shit. He cleared his throat. “So is that why you refuse to try anything different? Because you’re afraid someone will use it as an excuse to discount who you are as a person?”
She blinked. “Well, not exactly. I…”
She trailed off, and this time, instead of letting it go, he pushed her. Fuck path of least resistance. He was sick of her shutting him out. Shutting out the deepest, most expressive parts of herself. “What is it? What’s the big secret you keep avoiding telling me?”