“Don’t you dare, I’ll hate you—I’ll never forgive you if you hurt him.” My insides scream as his eyes plead with me to give him a solution.
“Then please tell me what the hell I’m supposed to do because I don’t know. I have orders that I have to follow. If I follow them, I’ll lose you. If I don’t, I’ll be executed and then you’ll lose me. Either way, I’m screwed and so are you. Damn it, you’ve complicated everything.” His voice is anguished.
“How can you say that?”
He collapses into the chair. “I never planned on falling for you. You were just an assignment. But it just sort of happened and now look where I am. Stuck between two walls that won’t budge either way. I’m trapped by you and my obligations as a guard.”
“Wait a minute. When you say you’ve fallen for me, do you mean—”
“You’re all I think about. My mind is constantly consumed by you and it scares the crap out of me.”
“No! No, you can’t! It’s forbidden. They’ll kill you!”
“Don’t you think I know that? I didn’t choose this. I didn’t mean for this to happen—it just did.” He blows out a hard breath and seems to steady himself before continuing. “Everything about you sucks me in. No matter how hard I try to hate you or be disgusted, the opposite happens. You’re like my magnet. You pull me in, but when I get too close, it takes everything I have to remain at a safe distance.”
“You can’t. It doesn’t matter how we feel about each other. Nothing can happen. Ever!”
He rises from his seat, his eyes boring into mine. A softness overtakes his face. “So you feel something for me?” He pulls me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me.
“Of course I do. But it doesn’t matter. None of this matters. Nothing can ever happen.”
“They won’t know. If we keep it between these four walls, how would they ever figure it out?”
“By the way we look at each other, our body language. There are so many signals we could give away, and that’s it. That’s all it takes, one little mistake and then we’re—”
“I need you,” he says.
“You don’t need me.” I breathe him in and my heart starts to flutter. “There’s nothing I can do to change who I am, what I’ve been labeled.”
“You’re amazing just the way you are. There’s not a single thing I would change about you. When you smile my entire world stops. All I see is you. I need you.”
My head shakes back and forth, willing his words away. If he keeps this up, I don’t know if my promise to Sutton will stick. “No, you don’t. You have to stop.”
“I wish I knew how.” His arms break away from me, and he steps back. “You’re the last person I ever wanted to fall for.”
His words ignite a switch I never knew existed. The words sting. A minute before, he said he needed me. Now, he tells me how I was the last person he would ever choose for himself. He’s ashamed of his feelings for me. Before I can stop myself, my emotions take control.
“Well, why don’t you say how you really feel? Huh? That being assigned to me was the worst thing that ever happened to you. I’ve ruined your life. But you know what? It’s not my fault. You can’t blame me because you can’t be like all the other mindless guards who have no attachments beyond themselves.” I spit in anger. “Why can’t you be numb?” My mind wanders back to the thought of Cole hunting my brother and it’s too much for me to bear. I fall to my knees, banging my fists on the floor, my breath coming in rasps as the pain crushes my chest.
“Stop it. Please stop.” He pleads as he kneels down to put his arm around me.
Sutton’s words come back to haunt me, and now I know exactly what he meant. Difficult decision—choosing sides, now I understand. It’s as if he knew this was coming.
“Why would you do this? I can’t believe you’d make me dinner and then spring this on me. How’d you think I’d react?” I stand back, pushing his arms off me, and face him with my arms folded across my chest. Zeus comes to my side, sensing the tension.
“I was scared to tell you. It’s been tearing me up inside, believe me.” He steps toward me, but I move back and Zeus growls. Cole raises his hands in innocence. “Look, you need to trust me.”
“Trust you? Seriously? After what just happened you want me to trust you?”
“Then we can’t be together. Without trust it would never work.”
“It’s never going to work. It can’t!” I throw my hands in the air. “And you’re going after my brother!”