Alyssa’s condition worsens. She sleeps most of the day and barely stays awake long enough to hold a conversation. Occasionally, she moans and shifts positions in her bed. The only gift I can give her is my presence. It seems like such a small gift, but it’s what I’d want if fate switched our positions. My heart seizes when I see her grimace when she coughs or even turns her head, and I wish I could take her pain away. But it only grows worse each day. Sutton even gave me a pamphlet on the dying process, which at first I refused, horrified by the idea. Now I’m glad I read it because I’m more aware of what Alyssa might need from me through her journey.
At seven p.m., Cole brings Zeus back to our room. Zeus’s eyelids droop and his legs wobble. He flops to the floor, and within a matter of seconds, he begins snoring.
“How’s she doing?” Cole asks.
“Okay… I’m hoping I can wake her long enough to give her some ice chips; her mouth is so dry, and she says she’s thirsty but chokes on water. She stopped eating today, which I know is normal at this stage, but it’s really hard to watch. I’m afraid she’s starving even though the book said she’s not. Weird, right?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “You finally read the book Sutton gave you? That’s good.” He stands with his feet shoulder width apart and strokes his chin pensively. “I don’t know how you do it, sit here with her knowing she’s going to—”
I scoot the chair back fast enough that it screeches obnoxiously, and I pull him into the hall. “Shhhh. She can hear you. The book said hearing is the last thing that goes right before it happens…” My tongue gets stuck and I have to clear my throat. “So we have to be careful about what we say around her. All right?”
“Really? Wow. Okay, good to know.” He looks down at me, worry lines creasing his brow. “How are you holding up?”
“I have my bad moments and my good moments. I just wish there was some way I could take her place.”
All of a sudden, Zeus barrels out of Alyssa’s room, growling with his hair sticking up on his back.
“Hey, calm down,” Cole says.
“What’s he growling about?” I ask, trembling. I steal a glance at Alyssa’s door.
“Who knows, he probably hears something.” He reaches down and rubs furiously between Zeus’s ears. I can tell he’s a bit worried too.
I peek into Alyssa’s room, making sure she’s still breathing. Her chest rises and falls with each shallow breath.
“Like what?” I ask, turning back to Cole.
“Dogs have incredible hearing. It could’ve been a noise he didn’t like coming from the ground floor. He’s capable of hearing things up to a mile away in the Hole. But in the woods, a mile and a half.”
“Wow, that’s unreal. Why can he hear farther in the woods?”
“Less distractions and not as much noise.”
“Makes sense. How was training?” I lean against the wall, feeling a little tired.
“Rough,” he replies. “This whole situation makes my life pretty difficult.”
“What situation? Being here in the hospital?” I perk up, and push off the wall to scrutinize his face.
“No, and yes—well, sleeping up here night after night with all the other guards knowing we’re here. Just makes things edgy.” He doesn’t usually share anything about his training so I pay attention.
“They all know you have clearance right? You told them I’m tending to someone who has a virus… So it’s not like you’re doing anything wrong.” I shrug it off while clearing my throat. His eyes meet mine and his hand pauses on Zeus’s head.
“It’s not me. The fact that you’re eight floors up from the training center has them itching to make trouble. I’ve been taking a beating at training for this, you know. I don’t like the feeling I have—not at all. They’re obsessed with you. I’ve heard some of them talking about what they’d do if they got you alone. We need to relocate soon… real soon.” He stops and rethinks his last statement. “I’m sorry… I don’t say it to be mean or insensitive, but your brand makes you a target for their games, and your face sure doesn’t help matters.”
“My face? Do I make weird faces?” I try to change where this is going. I know what the guards think. I’ve heard the catcalls, and I will never forget the way his comrade touched me in the garage while giving Cole his warning.
“Yeah. That’s it.” He shakes his head then looks at his feet. “You’re beautiful. That’s the problem.” He shuffles his feet and shifts his weight uncomfortably. “They can’t stop looking at you.” He glances up at me for a brief second before locking his gaze on something behind me. “And I understand why.” The words come out so soft I can barely hear them.
Butterflies don’t just flit through my stomach—they do cartwheels and somersaults. Feeling flustered I say, “And I know why all the girls throw themselves at you.” His eyes snap to mine and we hold our gaze for a minute.
“I won’t leave her,” I say.
“You might not have a choice.” His eyes, still locked on mine, harden.
“You can’t do that to her? To me—”
“You don’t understand. These are my orders. I can’t just throw my arms up in the air and leave you here, although there’re times I want to. I’m trying to do the right thing, but you make it so damn hard sometimes. I respect what you’re doing—really I do. But I’m telling you now that this can’t go on much longer. It’s starting to look suspicious,” he says. The grimace on his face makes my insides freeze with flashbacks of the execution.