“Is everything okay?” Alyssa’s concern humbles me.
“I’m fine. Just a mix up in the hallway. Nothing to worry about.” I brush it off for her sake.
“I hate those guards,” she whispers as if she is afraid they can hear her through the walls. She gives a small cough and tries to get comfortable again. “Are you sure you are okay? The way Zeus bolted out of here I thought something really bad happened.”
“One of the guards decided he wanted to try to push me around, but it’s okay, really. I’m fine. Zeus is quite the protector from evil.” I stroke her head and help her settle down to sleep.
“You’re lucky you have Cole. He’s the only good one.”
“Yeah, he’s good, but he’s still a guard.” I make a face, and her laugh sounds like tinkling bells.
“I heard that,” Cole says. Alyssa laughs louder and I roll my eyes.
After a few minutes of playful bantering, Cole lies down and falls asleep in one motion. I sit on Alyssa’s bed and braid a few small strands of her hair as she stares at me.
“Doesn’t it scare you that you might never be free?” Her playful expression turns serious, and her crystal-blue eyes pierce me. “I can’t imagine being as pretty as you, and having all those guards around. If it were me, I’d try to find a way to escape,” she whispers; her eyes dart to the door and her hands shake at just the thought.
“Lexi, can I ask you something?” She raises her searching eyes to mine.
“Sure, you can ask me anything. You know that.”
“If you got out of here, where would you go?”
“Now, that’s easy. I’d have to say Lexington Bay… if I could ever find it. Hey, what about you? Where would you go?”
“Anywhere would be better than here. But I don’t know what’s beyond the Hole.” She sighs with disappointment.
“I’m afraid it’s not much better really.”
“Anything has to be better than this.” Alyssa’s eyes snap to mine with the desire for knowledge.
“Well… after my father died, my mom remarried and we had to leave the countryside, so I spent the rest of my time in High Society—where what’s left of the wealthy live. It’s a northern city, the largest one left… which isn’t saying much since only 1/18 of it remains after the war. Outside High Society, we’re surrounded by poverty and beggars just like the Hole.”
“Really?” Alyssa says.
“Yup, really. Anyway, pretty much everyone lives in terror, trying to survive without being accused—money doesn’t always buy them freedom. It just happens to be the luck of the draw. If they’re accused by someone who’s got a vendetta against them then they get arrested… It’s so sick and twisted. I hate it there too. There are a lot of empty houses and abandoned buildings. Not much to see, nothing to enjoy, and really no life anymore. Mostly everyone stays in their homes, only going out for errands and things like that.”
“Did you go to school? I used to love learning…”
“Yeah, they still have school, although it’s pretty warped what they teach. I’m lucky my dad taught me a lot from home.”
Alyssa’s eyes drop to her hands, disappointed. “I wonder if my family’s still alive.”
“If they are, it’s because of you.” I take her hand in mine to reassure her.
“I want to be cremated,” Alyssa blurts out.
“Where did that come from?” I blink with surprise.
“I had a dream about it. Please, promise me you won’t let them put me in a box and bury me where bugs can eat my body.”
“Sure, if that’s what you want, I’ll do it for you.” I clasp her hand harder and feel the tears well up in my eyes.
“If you ever get out, take my ashes and spread them in the ocean, would you?” She’s so mature for thirteen I forget sometimes she’s just a child. “I’m not afraid of dying anymore because I know you’ll be with me.” She smiles faintly while clutching my hand. “But you know what? I think dying is easier compared to living here.”
When she finishes, tears obscure my vision. I hug her as tightly as I think I can without hurting her. I know exactly what she means. I was in that place not too long ago, where taking my life would’ve been easier than continuing to live. But now it’s different.
“I wish I had your strength. I don’t think—” My voice cracks, and I’m unable to finish my sentence.
Her eyes close as she fades out. “You’re strong. You just haven’t realized it yet, but you’ll find your strength. I know you will.”
A loud beeping sound coming from Cole’s pocket causes me to jump.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. Now what?” He shoves his hand in his pocket, pulling out a beeper, and squints while trying to decipher the number. The light from the pager illuminates his face like an apparition. “Unbelievable.” He sits up, rubs his bleary eyes, swings his jacket over his back, and glides his arms through the sleeves.