Chapter FORTY-THREE
Landon
His body fell on top of me, his eyes still open. I could see the power swimming in them. I could almost hear it calling out to me. Rebecca came and knelt at my side, but I ignored her. I lifted my hand and put it to Malize's forehead.
I touched his power.
I took it in.
"Landon, are you okay?" Rebecca asked. Her voice was far away, and growing more distant.
The entire universe of the Box opened up to me as I connected Ross' power to Malize's. I drew it in, and in doing so was revived. I didn't so much stand up as drift to my feet, and then further upward. I floated into the air once more, into the roiling clouds of wayward energy, into the hurricane of unstable power. I held my arms out and commanded it still, and it responded.
I could see everything now. Every line of power that held the Box together, every calculation, every note. I had sensed Rebecca below me right before I had fallen, and had guessed right that Malize was too concerned with me to notice. Now I could feel Charis, the dying energy of the demon Samael, and even those who were gathered in a ring around this place. Malize's energy reached into the Box from the clandestine white star at the top of the prison, the astral glow that I had seen but not understood. It connected this universe to that one, and was the secret sauce to his ingress. Take Ross' power, mix it with his own, and carry both out of the Box and into our world. The truth of it was staggering.
The same option was available to me.
The power of a god, or maybe even two. Enough to challenge God, if that was what I desired. It was certainly enough to keep both sides at rest for all of eternity, and I would never need to lift more than a finger to do it.
I looked down to where Rebecca was standing, gazing up at me. I re-ordered the world. I took away the clouds, I took away the emptiness. I put us in Dante's garden, where the roses shifted in the breeze and a trickling brook poured serenity into a small pond. I lowered myself to the ground, walked past Rebecca and into the mansion, to where Charis was waiting for me.
She was kneeling over Clara, cradling her head in her lap.
"What did you do?" she asked me.
"What do you mean? It's over. We won."
"You killed her."
"Ch..." I started to argue, but we'd had this fight already. "I know. I'm sorry. It was the only way."
Her anger lessened. Not her pain, but her anger. "Malize?"
"Gone. The Beast is gone. I can get us out of here. I can do anything, now. I have their power. All of it." It was strange to say. I couldn't even fathom the depths of what I had under my control.
"Can you bring her back?"
I could, in this place. Maybe I could have even made her real out there. What kind of thing would she be? What kind of life would she live?
"No."
She leaned down and kissed Clara's forehead, and then stood. "Where will she go?"
"She'll always be part of us." I put my arms around her, holding her tight while she sobbed into my shoulder. I don't know how much time passed, but eventually she pulled away and wiped her eyes.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
We kissed. A simple kiss, basic and plain, a sharing of affection and understanding. I hated that it had to end. I hated the understanding that it gave me.
"Charis... I can't."
"You have to."
"Why?"
"I'm tired, Landon. Finished. I gave everything I had to being a Templar, to protecting the world from the Beast. Only, it wasn't just the Beast, was it? Everything I was fighting for was a lie."
"You mean Malize? Without him, Ross would have destroyed everything a long time ago. He told me he wanted to make God fight, but He does fight. He fights with the free will He gave His creations. He allows us to make our own decisions, and forge our own destiny. Malize knew he might lose. Hell, he gave me everything I needed to defeat him. He had to maintain the balance if he wanted to stay hidden until the last moment."
As I said it, I wasn't so sure. Maybe Malize had intended to lose. Maybe, like Abaddon, he had lived beyond his desire, but couldn't bring himself to make his own end.
"I'm glad you stopped him, Landon. I'm proud of you. I just..." She didn't know what to say, but she didn't need to say it. I saw it in her eyes. I heard it in Abaddon's voice, and in Erus'. For a few eternal life was a gift. For most, it was a curse.
"You'll still have me," I said. It was a weak attempt to change her mind, but it was all I had.
"You don't have to go back," she replied. "It can end for you, too. The fighting, the loss, the hurt. You've done your part. You saved the world."
Maybe if I hadn't seen what Clara had shown me. The death, the destruction. Maybe if I had been more selfish, or more experienced, or more tired. Maybe if my judgement weren't clouded by the power of a god, or my eyes opened with the clarity of one.
"I do," I said. "Someone has to."
She looked down. "I'm sorry."
I picked her chin up with my hand. "Don't be. You saved the world, Charis. You brought me here. You taught me, you trusted me, you loved me. I know what I'm going back to is anything but peaceful, but every day when the sun rises, I'll know it was because of you and I. I'll know that six billion people get their shot at their hundred years, and then another six billion people after that. I'll help them with you in my heart, and in my soul."
I kissed her forehead. I held my lips there and exerted my will on her.
"Rest now. You've earned it."
"I love you," she said again.
It was the last thing I heard. Her body turned to energy, and the energy swirled around me. First, she would be with Clara here in the Box. Then, she would be free.
I watched her dissipate into the air. Right before she did, I captured a single point of light, and I breathed it in. I pushed it down into my soul, and I trapped it there for all of eternity. I couldn't stand to have our connection completely broken.
She would have agreed.
I stood there for hours, still and silent. I let the tears fall, because I was going to miss her. I let my heart soar, because I was happy she was free. Eventually, Rebecca came into the mansion. She didn't speak to me. She just stood there and waited, her own tears joining at my pain. I never would have expected that.
"It's time to go," I said to her at last.
"Landon, I..."
"I forgive you."
I focused, and a new doorway appeared in the center of the room. The door was mottled wood, and I remembered it from a dream. It was a symbol of struggle, and of hope. I pushed it open.
"Go now, Rebecca."
"Aren't you coming?" she asked.
"Yes, but I have one more thing I need to do first. Tell Sarah I'm proud of her. Tell Dante I'll be in touch. Tell Obi, Adam and Elyse that they have my infinite thanks."
"I don't understand."
"You don't need to." I pointed towards the door.
She walked over to it and paused.
"Landon, I..."
I held up my hand, and she stopped. "Be good, Rebecca."
She smiled, winked at me, and stepped through.
I took a deep breath. I could feel the power coursing through me, the energy sizzling at every tip of my being. I had observed what the thirst for it had done on every level. I had witnessed the death, the pain, the destruction. I had seen it in Josette, in Sarah, in Ulnyx, in Gervais and Abaddon, Ross and Malize. I was a diuscrucis. One part demon, one part angel, one part human. That meant I was all parts fallible and corruptible.
Such power didn't belong in my hands.
I held it in my soul for a brief moment. I kept a grip on just enough, and I let the rest go. I pushed it all out into the Box, a Box that I knew couldn't hold it. It didn't need to.
I walked over to the door, took one last look back, and fixed the world.