Born to Ride_A Clubhouse Collection

chapter 5

Madison

As I entered the restaurant to say goodbye, Blake’s eyes met mine from across the room. He was mingling with his customers but left them to come to me.

“You okay?” he asked.

I shook my head, tears threatening to spill again, but I pulled my big girl panties up and said, “Not really, but I will be. It turns out that Scott wasn’t kidding when he said that there was some bad shit going down. I just found out an old friend of mine was murdered by Nix.”

He sucked in a breath. “F*ck, babe. Why?”

I shrugged. “Who knows why Nix does anything he does, but the club thinks it is because she tried to leave him.”

His eyes widened in understanding. “So, they think he will come after you now because you left him. Is that what this is all about?”

“Yes, I think so. Knowing Scott and J though, there’s most likely more to it that they aren’t telling me.”

“What are you going to do? Go home?”

“I need some time to think it through, but maybe. My friend’s daughter is all alone now so I want to check on her. She’s only ten, Blake. How the f*ck could someone do that to her? Take away her family like that,” it was really hitting me now, “I can’t believe I dated him. It makes me feel sick.”

He pulled me into a hug. “There are some twisted people out there, baby girl. I’m here for you. You know that, right?”

Nodding, I answered, “Yeah, honey. I know I can always count on you.”

Stepping out of his embrace, I turned to the table where our friends were. They were all watching us intently, probably wondering what the hell was going on. I smiled at them and left Blake to go and see them.

Serena stood up and came at me with a huge hug. “You’ve been crying. What the f*ck did he say to you?” she was mad on my behalf and I loved that about her.

“I’ll fill you in later, okay?” She nodded and I continued, “I’m leaving with J now, so I’ll see you when you get home.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” she asked.

I smiled at her, “No, I’m okay with him. Besides he looks exhausted and will probably just go to sleep. I need some time alone to think.”

“Fair enough, but I won’t be home too late.”

“Thanks.”

I said goodbye to Faith and Rowan, and then headed back outside to J. He was sitting on his bike waiting for me, still looking as pissed off as he had when he first arrived.

“You ready to go?” he asked.

“Yes, but I’m not so sure that I’ll be able to get on your bike in this dress.”

He smirked. “Never stopped you before, babe,” he said, letting his eyes roam over my body, and I hated to admit it, but that turned me on.

Shit, now I was flustered. “Just pass me a helmet,” I snapped at him.

He did what I asked and then turned around, settling into his seat while I attempted to hike my dress up enough to allow me to sit on the bike behind him. Don’t ask me how, but somehow I managed this, although I did feel like my ass was hanging out for all the world to see.

His hands gripped my legs and pulled me in closer to him. Bloody hell, my p-ssy was taking notice now, and that was not a good thing. Not where J was concerned, because if I let her take control of the situation, god knew where we would end up.

I wrapped my arms around him and held on while we sped off into the night. Fifteen minutes later we pulled into my driveway. I guessed that Scott had given him my address. Letting go of him, I did my best to get off the bike without flashing too much and quickly smoothed my dress down before taking off the helmet and giving it back to him.

Without a second glance in his direction, I went inside and headed to the kitchen, flipping on lights as I went. I was not one of those people who tried to conserve power or money by never putting lights on; I loved the house lit up. Turning the tap on, I filled the kettle and started making coffee. Figuring J could do with caffeine hit, I got him a mug too but then stopped myself when I went to fill it. It had been awhile since I had made him coffee, perhaps he took it differently now.

He entered the kitchen and I turned to him, holding up the coffee and a spoon. “How do you have your coffee these days?” I asked.

“Same as before,” he replied, leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms.

I felt a little self-conscious with him watching me like this, but hell would freeze over before I admitted that to him so I went about the task of making coffee. We stood in silence while waiting for the kettle to boil. It was uncomfortable and I wished that J would just say something, but he didn’t. Eventually I finished making the coffee and handed it to him before we both took a seat at the kitchen table. And, again, there was complete silence. Normally, I enjoyed silence, but with J, right now, it felt really awkward.

So, I forced myself to say something. “How the hell did Bec end up with Nix?” Both her kid’s fathers had been bikers who had screwed her over so the last I knew she had sworn off bikers.

“From what I can work out she flipped after what happened with Rob and got into some bad shit. Led her to Nix eventually. I think he targeted her.”

My mind was racing and I could feel my anxiety rising. I didn’t want to talk about Rob and J had caught me off guard even bringing it up. My hand brushed over the scar on my arm without me realising it, until I saw J’s eyes move to it. He lifted his hand and went to touch me. “Don’t,” I snapped, and scraped my chair back so I could stand up.

“F*ck, Madison. You’re still dealing with that aren’t you?” J stood and moved towards me, but I was backing away so he reached his arm out and hooked it around my waist, pulling me towards him.

I raised my palms to his chest in an effort to halt his progress of bringing us together. “Don’t talk to me about dealing with that. I f*cking have. You’ve got no idea what I’ve been through with all that shit, so don’t think you know all about it.” I tried to push away from him but he was too strong and held me close.

“You might have dealt with your drinking and I hope you f*cking have babe, but I can tell that you haven’t sorted through some of the other shit in your head,” he bit out.

“It’s none of your business. You made it perfectly clear that you weren’t interested when you told me to leave,” I hissed, and gave him another push away. He relented and let me go.

J’s face contorted in anger and he raked his fingers through his hair. “Fine. Don’t wanna get into this crap right now anyway,” he jabbed his finger at me, “Mark my f*cking words though, we will be getting into it.”

Oh, my god. He was still one bossy f*cker.

***

I rolled over and checked the time on the bedside clock. Three am. Shit, it was going to be a long night; I’d woken up every hour since I went to bed at midnight. The revelations of the evening had stirred up long suppressed feelings and I couldn’t stop the memories that were coming to me. I reached for my smokes and lit one, taking a long, hard drag on it. I closed my eyes as it filled my lungs and the smell of it hit my nostrils; it felt damn good and I took another drag, trying desperately to block out the images of Bec suffering at the hands of Nix.

Bec was my best friend growing up. Her father was also a member of the club and we had been inseparable. She was a few years older than me and had always looked out for me. Bec had fallen pregnant at seventeen, and I had helped her look after Georgie when he was born, and later, Crystal. We had been through a lot together and had always sworn that nothing would come between us, but then on that fateful day that changed my life, something had come between us and there had been no going back from it. Bec cut me out of her life and I had had to learn how to live life without the unwavering support of a best friend. Even after Nix had f*cked me up she had not checked in on me; she hated me that much. But I had never stopped loving her and my broken heart cracked even more at the realisation that I would never see her again.


You see, Bec had been dating Rob at the time that he attacked me. They had been together for a couple of years, and although he had often flirted with me, I had thought he was harmless. Turned out he was far from harmless. After J killed him, and he and Scott buried the body, Bec had been heartbroken at his disappearance. She wasn’t stupid though, and suspected the club had something to do with it because Rob and the club had always had problems. Threats had been made against him so she assumed that the club had finally made good on those threats. And when he had failed to ever show up again, and I hadn’t helped her find him, she turned against me saying that I had taken the club’s side. If only she knew the truth. But I couldn’t tell her the truth because it implicated J.

I stubbed out my smoke and got out of bed. There was no point trying to sleep when it just wasn’t going to happen. Wandering out to the kitchen I saw the light on and realised that J was up. He was sitting at the table and looked up when he heard me. We hadn’t spoken much after we had argued. I had hooked him up with a pillow and blanket, and then shut myself away in my bedroom. To be honest, I didn’t trust myself with him yet. I was confused about how I felt about him; I thought I hated him after the way he had treated me years ago and yet there was this almost relief at seeing him again. Why the f*ck would I feel relief of all things?

“Scott called. F*cking prospects lost Nix. We’re on it, but haven’t found him yet,” J said as I walked past him to get a glass of water. His voice was husky from sleep and he was sitting there in just his jeans. No freaking shirt. J was easily the best looking man I had ever met and having those muscles shoved in my face at this time of the morning, when I had had little sleep, was making my brain fire haphazardly. It wasn’t safe to be this close to him when he was dressed only in jeans. And was that my tattoo still on his chest? Surely not; surely he would have had that removed. I wasn’t going to stare to confirm it though.

“You boys are resourceful so I’m sure you’ll find him soon,” I said, absentmindedly, because I was still trying not to focus on his chest and arms.

“Are you taking this seriously, Madison?” he asked, sharply.

His tone annoyed me and all thoughts of his body disappeared. “Of course I am,” I snapped.

“Well, you don’t f*cking seem like it.” He was glaring at me now, waiting for my response.

I was still standing at the sink and decided it was probably best to avoid the rest of this conversation. After finishing my drink I placed my empty glass in the sink and turned to leave the kitchen. “I’m going back to bed. I need more sleep to be able to deal with this, J.”

His eyes penetrated mine as I walked past him and I wasn’t sure what I saw in them. It looked like lust but it was probably anger and frustration. Lack of sleep often led me to the wrong conclusions.

I made my way to my bedroom door and was just closing it when he pushed it open again. There was no light on here so I could only make him out roughly but the energy surrounding us was charged.

He stood in the doorway, and as I adjusted to the darkness I could tell he was running his eyes over my body. I had been right in the kitchen; he was radiating lust. And f*ck, it got me wet. I wanted him in a way that I hadn’t wanted a man for years. Sure, I loved sex and craved it, but J brought out carnal desires in me that no one else seemed able to.

“J...what are you doing?” I breathed out.

He took a step towards me and reached out, brushing his thumb across my cheek. “I’d almost gotten to a place where I didn’t think about you every f*cking day,” he murmured, surprising the f*ck out of me.

His words snapped me out of my lust fuelled trance and I pushed his hand away from my face. “What the hell?” I said. Why was he saying that crap to me? He was the one who had said he didn’t love me anymore, the one who sent me away. Why would he still be thinking about me?

“You’ve no idea, baby. No idea...” he muttered and walked out of the room, leaving me confused and annoyed. J was a walking contradiction to me, and I sensed this was just the beginning of it. Events from the past were going to start catching up with me and I was powerless to stop it.