Blessed Tragedy

chapter Eleven



It only took two days and seven hours for word to hit the streets of Lexington that a “celebrity” was in their midst. Honestly, I'm not sure I'll ever get used to people making a big fuss about me, especially when I'm sitting in the breakfast nook at my dad's house trying to enjoy a cup of coffee, but it is what it is. When I jumped online only to find a picture of myself walking out of the local doughnut shop with powdered sugar on at the corners of my mouth, it made me more than just a little crabby.

“Dammit, why can't people in this town mind their own damn business?” I said to no one in particular since I was sitting alone in the kitchen.

Well, I didn't mean to say it to anyone but my dad chose that moment to come downstairs. There was definitely something going on with him if I was waking up before he was, I just hadn't found the right time to broach the subject. I needed to get on that since I told the guys I'd be gone ten days, tops and I was already on day three.

“What's going on, Moo?” I tried to ignore the bags under Dad's still dull eyes and the hollow cheeks. He didn't look good at all this morning.

“Apparently, I can't leave the house in this forsaken town. Some a*shole took a picture of me yesterday morning.” I flinched at my curse, expecting Dad to say something but he simply sat across from me listening to me rant. “Seriously, why is it that big a deal if I get a powdered doughnut? It's not like I'm Hannah-freaking-Montana or something. I'm the lead singer of a decent band that hasn't even headlined yet.” I slumped back in my chair with a puff, trying to get the ruby red bangs out of my eyes. This getting up in the morning thing didn't seem to be going so well for me.

“Can I point out the obvious?” Dad cupped his coffee in both hands and I saw a slight tremor as he raised the mug to his lips. “When you walk around a town this size looking the way you do, you're going to attract attention. And that hair is like a neon sign saying 'Look at me, I'm Rain Maxwell'.”

He was right, of course, but I had never been a fan of disguises. To me, the thought of throwing on a baseball cap and sunglasses screamed “Look at me, I'm somebody trying to make sure you don't know who I am!”

That was what led me on an adventure that was sure to piss off Tanya, our well-meaning and overbearing manager. Of course, being home, I wasn't living in Rain Maxwell mode, I was simply Maddie Neumann, the almost twenty-five year old daughter of Thomas Neumann of Lexington. That wasn't a good thing because I wasn't thinking about needing to consult with anyone before acting on my impulses, doing things like drastically changing my appearance.

Eight hours after grabbing the Mazda keys off the hooks inside the front door, I replaced them feeling amazing, liberated and perhaps just a bit paranoid of the fallout. The ruby red curls that had become my signature were gone. I felt good about the new razor cut, nearly black 'do with a bright blue undertone. With a little – okay, a lot – of help from a flat iron, even my dad admitted that it looked good. Yes, my conservative dad who I'd avoided for so long was now complimenting me on the bright blue in my hair. On top of that, I'd made the decision to ditch the green contacts in favor of my natural eye color, even going so far as to pick up a pair of funky glasses for daily wear. With the hair, my light brown eyes resembled the color of steeped tea. It was a seriously killer look. I just had to hope it was different enough to throw the locals off my trail long enough to take care of business and get the hell out of dodge.



Having the day to myself, with no one demanding anything of me, was just what I needed to refocus my mind. I'd been avoiding talking to my dad about what was going on but there was no denying something wasn't right with him. After dropping my bags in my bedroom, I bounded down the stairs to the rec room.

“Hey stranger! Dad spilled the beans you were here but I figured he was losing it.” Mike pulled himself off the couch and lifted me off the ground in a tight hug. “Keep this up and we're going to expect you home for the holidays.”

I glared at Mike, not wanting to get into the reasons for my trip home with Dad sitting on the sectional watching baseball. Knowing I was going to be heading back to Florida soon, I decided I'd start by talking to my brother, see if he knew anything. If nothing else, he could keep an eye on things while I was gone and let me know if anything happened.

“Is Dad sick?” I blurted once I had dragged him to the back patio.

“Not that I know of. Why?”

“Why?” That question worried me far more than it should have. “Have you looked at him? He looks like shit; he's barely eating and he's been sleeping until after nine every morning.”

Mike sighed. “Moo, you can't expect him to get right back to living. It hasn't even been a month since Mom--”

I cut him off, not letting him say the dreaded word. Yes, she was gone, but I hadn't once been able to verbalize that fact since coming home.

“It's not that. Seriously, Mike, do you think I'd be home if I thought it was grieving?” It was actually somewhat surprising to me that Mike hadn't questioned why I was home but that was beside the point.

“I think you're in hyper-vigilant mode after what happened with Mom. I love you, you know that, but don't you think we'd know if something was going on? Matt and I are over here all the time and he hasn't said anything.”

Through the French doors from the house to the patio, I saw Dad was, once again, sound asleep. He'd managed to stay up for nine hours before having to sleep this time; and that's if he didn't nap while I was gone. Maybe things seemed normal to Mike but they definitely weren't and it was obvious to me that I needed to at least get confirmation on the what within the next week so I could get my brothers on board with taking care of him once I had to leave.

“Have you thought about the fact that with everything going on with Mom he wouldn't say anything? You know him better than I do, and unless something's changed, he wouldn't have wanted anyone paying attention to him when they should have been paying attention to her. Admit it.”

Mike focused on his feet as he kicked stones off the patio. “Yeah, you're right about that. And, I suppose, if something is wrong, you would be the one to see a drastic change.” My brother was actually conceding defeat. He was agreeing with me. If there really is a Hell, I'm pretty sure it froze over in that moment. “So, what do you suggest we do, oh wise baby sister?”

“You might not like my answer.”

“No, I might not. And I might surprise you and love it. Tell me.” I'd never been close to Mike, but tonight felt like we'd had this relationship our entire lives. It was nice to feel so normal for once.

“Call Matt, tell him to meet us down at the bar. I don't want to talk about this around Dad just yet, and if Matt shows up, he's going to suspect something.”

From the outside looking in, I'm sure the Neumann family looked just like any other family. What no one could know is I'm just as much a stranger to them as they are to me. That's why it surprised me when he was on board with my idea, picking up his phone before I could finish explaining.

“You gonna call Mark to let him know what you're thinking?” Mike asked while he waited for Matt to pick up. I knew what he was getting at; that I had been upset when I wasn't kept in the loop and therefore he expected me to let Mark know. I had no intention of doing that. Not yet. The way I saw it, there was no point in worrying him until we knew there was something to worry about. And knowing Mark, he'd do nothing but freak out as soon as he knew anything.

“Nah, let's keep it the three of us until we know if there's a problem. But then, we are going to call him. And if something happens after I go back, I want you to promise me here and now that you will not keep me out of the loop again.”



Matt agreed to meet us at the bar an hour later, so I left Mike to keep Dad company while I found something to wear. Had I realized I'd be back so soon, I would have left the suitcase I'd brought home for the funeral in the closet. Instead, I was forced to find something that didn't make me look like I was either trying to hang onto my teen years or I was a fashion reject who didn't realize times had changed.

Never one to shy away from going out, I felt apprehensive as I finished putting on a pair of short denim shorts with a plain black t-shirt and flip flops. Knowing at least one person in town was making their way to being best friends with the gossip sites, I worried about what people would think if pictures of me dressed like this got out. Then I realized the bigger issue would be if Tanya saw pictures of me out on the town and it had nothing to do with my clothes. In an effort to give the guys a heads up, just in case, I snapped a quick picture of myself on my phone, complete with the most incredible duck lips I could manage because duck lips make everything fun, and sent it off to Colton. After that, I reminded myself that I'd spent years not giving a damn what others thought and tonight was not the time to do so.

Matt was sitting at one of the high tables along the front wall when we got there. Luckily, he was prepared and had the first pitcher of beer ordered.

“Hey Moo, found your way back home?” He asked with a smirk. Apparently, after spending so much time avoiding everyone, this was going to be my punishment for a while. In the long run, I figure it's a small price to pay to get things back to how they should be with my brothers.

“Something like that,” I said dryly. “But don't worry, I'll be out of your hair again soon enough.”

Things with Matt definitely weren't as easy as they could have been. Then again, he and I were never close; I was the much younger sister always getting in the way.

I breathed a sigh of relief when Mike sat down next to me. It was a small gesture, but to me, it told me that he was on my side when it came to talking to Matt about our dad. He reacted much the same as Mike had, telling me I was out of touch and the only thing wrong with Dad was that he was tired from taking care of mom when she was sick and now grieving his loss. Mike didn't let on he'd said the same thing at first and he backed every observation I made, to the point of telling Matt I was probably the only one of us in the best position to actually see what was going on. By the time Matt stood to leave in a huff thirty minutes later, it was apparent that this was going to be a battle Mike and I fought on our own; Matt was perfectly content to let Dad live his life however he saw fit. That saddened me but didn't surprise me.

“So, you wanna head home or hang out?” Mike asked after we watched our oldest brother walk out the door. I think, no matter what we knew the outcome was going to be, it still surprised us he was so unwilling to even hear me out.

“Well, I have nothing better to do and I've never just hung out with you, so yeah, let's hang.” I looked sheepishly over at my brother. “Is it weird that I want to spend a Saturday night with you?”

“Nah, I'm a hot ticket around here,” he laughed.

“If that's the case, why were you sitting at Dad's house on a Saturday night and not out with one of the many women lining up to spend time with you?” I leaned over to bump my shoulder against his and flinched momentarily when he wrapped his arm around me.

“Blew them all off. Told them I had a date with a younger woman who wasn't going to be around for long.” Looking at Mike, really looking at him for the first time ever, I didn't doubt for a moment he would be the type of guy women fought over. He was charming, funny, had a smile that could light up the room and broad shoulders that made you feel safe to be with him. Add flattering and only a little bit conceited and I started to wonder why he was still single at thirty-two.

Before I could think of a witty comeback to his comment about a date with a younger woman, a rotund man with a baby face dropped a black three-ring binder on our table. “Gonna be a busy night, make sure you get your entry in early,” he said without looking at either of us. Great, I tell Mike we need to hang out and it's karaoke night. This should be fun.

“You going to sing tonight?” Mike asked, that devilish glint in his eye told me he was up to something.

“Probably not.” I emptied my beer glass, knowing there was little chance I would walk out without singing. If Mike pressed the issue, I'd wind up doing it to make him happy.

“Come on, you know you wanna,” he goaded. “Not to mention, best of the night takes the hundred dollar prize. It'll be fun.”

“And how, exactly, will it be fun? And how is that even fair? I'm pretty sure there's not enough beer in this place to make me screw up.”

Yeah, it was an arrogant statement but it was true. Karaoke was one of the most miserably painful excuses for entertainment I could think of. Most people needed a healthy dose of liquid courage before getting up on stage; the irony being that by the time the song started, they were too obliterated to perform, no matter how good they were sober.

“Plus, I'm pretty sure I'd be disqualified even if I did go up there.” It was a last ditch effort. Mike was on a mission and I was his secret weapon.

“Take a look at the rules, there's nothing in there that says 'you can't be the lead singer in a kick ass band' or anything like that.” I looked my brother square in the eye and realized the boy was definitely buzzed. It was rather amusing but I had a feeling that was only going to strengthen his resolve.

“Mike, I don't feel comfortable getting up there and taking money that someone else could really use.” Another morsel of truth. No matter how much I was irritated by the unknown nosy people of Lexington, I would feel like a greedy bitch if the person who came in second was doing this because they needed the money.

“So, after it's all done, you give the money away. I just want to see you sing again and I want everyone in town to see it too. You're amazing and we never gave you enough credit for that.” Okay, I really hoped Mike didn't get drunk with the plethora of women hoping to cash in their proverbial tickets because if he was this sappy buzzed, I could only imagine him full-on drunk. Maybe that's why he was single.

“Will you shut up if I say I'll do it?” He didn't need to know he'd found my weak spot. Buzzed, drunk, or whatever the reason, hearing him compliment me did me in.

“Yep. But I get to pick the song.” There was that twinkle again. I had a feeling I was going to regret this night before we got home.

As Mike thumbed his way through the three inch thick binder, I pulled out my phone. I hadn't talked to Colton at all today and I wanted to know how things were going in Florida.

Me: Shoot me. Mike has me at the bar. Convinced me to do karaoke.

Colton: LOL, have fun with that. Whatcha singin?

Me: That's the best part. He is picking.

Colton: Want video.

Me: Not f*cking likely. Well, knowing people around here, Google it in a few hours, I'm sure it'll be posted.

Colton: More problems?

Me: Just the pic from yesterday. Wish they'd let me be.

Colton: How's dad?

Me: Not sure yet. Talked to Mike tonight, tell you about it later.

Colton: Okay. Btw, you know Tanya's gonna kick your ass over the hair, right?

Me: Yep.

Colton: I think it's hot.

Me: Good. Because you know everything I do is done to make you think I'm hot.

Colton: You could wear a burlap sack and I'd still think you're hot.

Me: Too itchy. Mike's apparently picked, gotta run. Ttys.



From the moment Mike walked back from the stage after turning in my slip, I swear the man was bouncing in his seat. I tried to get him to tell me what song he picked several times but he refused to tell me; his excuse being it was the only way to level the playing field a bit.

Five horribly off-key, out of time songs later, I felt someone walk up behind us. I turned around to see none other than Garrett Dietrich reaching over to shake Mike's hand.

“Hey Maddie, didn't expect to see you again,” he said, pulling me into an awkward hug. I shouldn't have been surprised by the gesture since we had dated for a while in high school before realizing we were better off as friends, but it still felt too familiar. Too intimate. And I'll be damn if it didn't make my heart skip a beat or two.

“Well, we had a break and I had some stuff to take care of here,” I sputtered. There had to be something in the air around here that caused me to lose my mind. I was this person I didn't recognize. Not Maddie, not Rain, more like a diluted version of both of my personalities. “It's good to see you again. You care to sit with us?”

Shit, why did I ask him that? The last thing I need is to spend time with Garrett. At least Mike's here. Shit, Mike thought it'd be funny to bring me to the school and fail to mention that Garrett was the band director. What in the hell is he going to do?

“Need another drink?” Garrett asked, noticing I had drained yet another pint of beer. There were far too many ways I could get myself into trouble if I kept drinking, but I'll be damn if I could think of a single reason at that moment.

“Sure, grab me a good micro.” I watched as Garrett disappeared into the swarm of people as the DJ called my name to come to the stage.



You wouldn't think I'd get nervous performing in a hick bar but I wanted to puke for just a second or two. I'm pretty sure that's just how I'm wired. I live to sing and I love performing but I hate those moments when everyone is looking at me, anticipating what's to come. The song title appeared on the screen in front of me and I threw my head back laughing. This was going to be fun. I tilted my head to each side cracking my neck and winked at Mike, who'd made his way front and center.

The problem with Kiss Me Deadly by Lita Ford is there's no intro. No time to prepare once the play button is hit. On the other hand, Lita Ford was my secret role model growing up. Mom wanted me to be Mary Lou Retton and I wanted to be Lita.

In a bold move, I nodded to the DJ to start the song and I jumped off the low stage. These people wanted a show, my brother wanted me to show everyone what I can do, who was I to deny any of them? I danced my way through the crowd, growling out the lyrics in true badass rocker chick fashion. I saw a spark of recognition in a few people's eyes, but that could have also been the liquor making them glaze over.

When the song ended, there was a moment of dead silence. That's about the scariest reaction out there. If people jeer, you know they hated it. If they scream and clap, they loved it. But silence? There's no telling what they think. Lucky for me, the cheers and whistles started. Not so lucky for me, they were accompanied by flashes from camera phones. Knowing there was nothing I could do to change the fact that I would never again be anonymous in my hometown; I did what anyone would do. I grabbed my beer and gave my brother a hug.