Behind the Courtesan

chapter Twenty-Two

As a strange warmth spread over Blake’s body, his limbs felt a little less heavy. He could hear a voice getting louder but could see nothing. He wanted to see her. To know she was real and not a figment of his imagination. He hoped the fact that his head felt as though it would explode meant that he was still alive.

Slowly, so slowly it hurt, he opened his eyes. His vision filled with night dark hair, eyes the bluest of blue twinkling back at him and the scent of apples filling the air.

“Am I dreaming?” he asked, not sure what was happening. Was it heaven that she was there or would it be hell when she walked away? He’d asked her to marry him and she hadn’t said yes.

She hadn’t said no either...

“Does it feel like a dream?”

He nodded. “It’s beautiful like a dream. You’re beautiful.”

She laughed again, the sound calming him, making him smile in return. “Nothing about this day is like a dream.”

Hadn’t she said the opposite only a few minutes ago? Was that a few minutes ago? “What happened, Sophie? Where are we?”

“We’re at Matthew’s house. Charles is dead. It seems there’s a title with your name on it if you want it.”

“And will you be my duchess?” He knew without a doubt he didn’t dream now. He took her hand in his once again and spoke again before she had the chance to. “That day when I asked if you wanted to be a duchess, I had no idea then that you already were one.”

For a moment her face disappeared from his vision and she tried to pull her hand from his. He held on tight. “I know what happened all those years ago.”

“How can you not hate me?”

“I did,” he admitted. She sighed. “But that was before I had all of the facts. And I could never hate you for something you had no control over.”

“And now?”

In her eyes were all her hopes and dreams for the future. He sat up, took both of her hands in his. “Now I want to make you my wife. Not a duchess or an innkeeper’s woman. I want you for me. I want to feel your skin against mine. I want to wake up next to you in my bed every day for the rest of our lives.”

“And if I say no? What if I decide I’m not strong enough for country life? What if I decide this life is not for me and go back to the city? What will you do then, Blake? Will you forget about me once and for all?”

He shook his head. “Never. If you go to the city, then I go to the city. If you take passage on a ship headed for the Americas, I’ll be there right beside you. There is nowhere you can flee this time, sweeting, that I won’t find you.”

“Yes.”

His hands tightened around hers. “Yes?”

“Yes.”

“What about—”

She put her fingers to his lips to silence him. “I love you. Let’s worry about the details later. You need to rest now.”

That was the last thing he needed. “There’s only one thing I need right now.” He reached for her, wrapped his arm around her lower back and pulled her onto his lap.

“What’s that?” she asked with a giggle.

He kissed her long and hard, poured his heart and soul into it. “I think it works better if I show you...”

* * * * *


A note from the author



The idea for Sophia’s loss came mostly from an article I read in a magazine many moons ago. The lady had suffered nine miscarriages before being diagnosed with a folate deficiency resulting in miscarriage generally before nine weeks gestation. One of my closest friends suffered three miscarriages before the doctors picked it up with her (or her husband in their case).

A study conducted by researchers from Sweden’s Karolinka Institute in conjunction with the U.S. National Institute of Child Health and Human Services (NICHD) and published in 2002 in the Journal of the American Medical Association proved that women with less than 50% folate levels had increased risks of early pregnancy losses.

Folic acid, also known as folate, is a vitamin necessary for proper cell growth and embryo development. Folate deficiency also has been associated with placental separation during pregnancy, pregnancy-induced hypertension and low blood supply to the placenta. These effects may in part be responsible for the increased risk of miscarriage.

In 1998, the FDA began requiring food manufacturers to fortify certain grain products with folic acid. Many breakfast cereals, rice, pasta and most breads are now an excellent source of the vitamin, as are beans, leafy green vegetables and citrus fruits.

But in the Regency era, can you imagine how many women would have suffered from low or no folate and endured miscarriages and delivered babies with birth defects? It’s not like the diets of the rich and famous in London would have been loaded with healthy greens. Folate deficiency can also affect men and regularly does even in the 21st century.

While I can predict a very happy future for Blake and Sophia (with a diet change and greens from their very own garden), I also like to think they would have been blessed with a huge family and lived happily ever after.

Bronwyn.