She hadn't been called that since she was ten years old, when she'd found it too embarrassing and demanded they stopped. Now when she heard it, instead of mortification, she felt grief, as if she'd lost them for real. In many ways, she had.
“Love you too,” she said in a thin voice. She cleared her throat and fought back the burning tears threatening to pierce through her tough outer shell. “And I'll see you soon. Bye.” She hung up before they could keep her on the line any longer. Slumped on the edge of her bed, she dropped the phone on the floor and stared out the open window.
To her surprise, though she felt so miserable she could burst, no tears came. Instead, she was left to her misery with no source of release except to think it out.
It was a long night.
*
Around half ten, she sat in bed unable to go to sleep so instead of wasting any more time trying, she pulled out Lora's diary. She wanted to sit down and read it properly.
She'd been holding it off for a long time but after her first attack she felt she could handle simply reading a diary. There couldn't have been anything in there that was worse than what she'd already read.
I found out today what Fraya had been itching to hurt me with.
She'd been savouring it for just the right moment.
Nik and I have been together for a long time, and I started to think that maybe she'd learnt to accept it. She'd even gone out of her way to try to be civil with me. I'd been suspicious at first, and then I'd given her the benefit of the doubt. How stupid have I been? I should have trusted my instincts long ago.
I don't know how she found out but she knows I'm pregnant. So for her it was the perfect time to announce to me that she had slept with Nik.
“What?!” Jaz blurted out loud. She clamped her hands over her mouth, waiting for Edda to come bursting in. After a minute of waiting, she unclamped her mouth and continued reading.
I don't know what to think of that. I asked him today and he gave me that same unreadable look that makes me want to smack it off his face sometimes.
“Ha, you me both,” Jaz muttered.
But he then opened up and finally admitted he had slept with her. “It was years ago. Not long after she'd lost her mate,” he told me. Then he got into the story about how that had happened.
Thor was killed by a man called Joan from a Northern Pack, who'd trespassed through Deer Creek. Things got out of hand when they tried to come to an agreement and a fight broke out. It turned pretty nasty but eventually they managed to fight the Northern Pack off. Thor was one of the sacrifices. Ironically, the Pack Leader of their tribe, wrote a letter of apology as he hadn't been there and said it would never happen again, etc etc. And so a truce was settled. Thor basically died for nothing.
Nik told me all this to prolong the inevitable. I nearly blew a fuse in my brain waiting for him to just tell me why on God's green earth, even if there had only been him and Fraya left alive, would he even think of sleeping with her, let alone then?! 'Then'- being about six or seven years ago. A few weeks after Thor died.
He said, “She was grieving and in a terrible mess. She wanted me, and rather than turn her down and make her feel worse, I gave in to her. It happened once and we never did it again. I love only you.”
Jaz scoffed. “So you were just doing Fraya a favour? Peh! Moron.”
She tried not to let herself feel how much those last words bothered her. Why should it anyway? He'd loved Lora so much and she'd loved him. So what?
She was also deeply saddened by what Lora must have gone through. It was as if she could feel her sister's pain and jealously. And even though it was in her own personal diary, Lora still didn't have the ability to be even remotely nasty about Fraya, or Nik. She had been very -almost too- forgiving and sweet, and Jaz wished she was even half the woman Lora had been.
*
The next day...
Monday June 6th, 7:03 a.m.
Day of Fraya's meeting with the Council
Jaz was surprised to find the next morning how much stronger she felt. She had not only recovered -no pains, aches, or stiffness- she felt solid, like she'd done a killer workout. Well she had, but a workout that didn't involve breaking and realigning bones.
Jaz walked into the kitchen, her stomach growling loudly at the smell of eggs, toast and steak.
“G'morning!” Edda called cheerily.
“Morning.”
Edda turned to observe Jaz. Jaz looked well. Her face was bright, in fact, glowing. Her skin was hydrated; the shadows on her face had disappeared making her eyes appear bright and youthful again. She'd even made more of an effort to look nice; donning a pair of light denim jeggings and a cream lace top that clung attractively to her slender frame. She'd put up her hair -which she rarely did- into a messy bun, with two decorative clips; loose strands dangled down in front of her ears, framing her oval face.