Her limbs shook as if she was lying naked in the snow, in the midst of a violent snowstorm, deep in the arctic Alaskan desert. But she was far from freezing. Her body dripped with sweat, causing her to slip around on the wooden floor as her limbs jerked and shivered. Her skin was on fire and bright red as the blood rushed to it.
Lying in bed, she touched her raw throat; her fragile body wrapped in layers of blankets. She now felt severely cold; her body heat spent. Her throat burned. It was so sore from all her wailing and howls. She'd never heard herself make such sounds. They'd barely sounded human.
She thought she'd really Changed into a horrible Beast. Like the flashing image in the public toilets. She shivered. Not from the cold, or her attack, but from terror and repugnance. “What's... happening... to me...” she sobbed quietly. It wasn't a question, just a release. Like exhaling.
She'd been warned. Driver had tried to tell her. She'd been too much of a coward to ask about it. To get his or Maria's advice. She'd shunned any that was given to her. She'd made anyone stop if they spoke about it, changing the subject or bluntly telling them to move on. Now she regretted it wholeheartedly.
Through her snivelling, she asked herself, “Why didn't I just suck it up and listen?” She knew why. Because I'm a coward. Because I wanted to believe it wasn't real. But I always knew. I can feel it.
She was referring to the Beast inside of her. The animal side that had fully awakened, fighting for control the moment she had come here. The animal that -even before coming to Deer Creek- she'd felt from time to time when something or someone angered her or made her feel threatened. And she'd never felt more threatened than when she'd been trapped inside that 'cell'.
That was when she first felt the power of it.
She didn't want to eat raw, bloody meat, it did.
She didn't want to jump Driver's bones, it did.
She didn't attack Alf, it did.
She wanted to stay away from Fraya whilst it wanted to rip her throat out.
Now it was getting its own back and taking over her body. That's what she could feel. And like the ripping sensation inside her, and the power of it as it tried to take over, it all freakishly reminded her of a parasite writhing under her skin. Her whole body felt like it was going to split apart to make way for the monster brewing inside of her.
She knew how offensive that would sound to anyone in the community if she ever tried to confide in someone about it, so she kept it locked away inside.
As she shivered under the blankets, the sound of a quiet knocking on the front door made her hold her breath to listen.
She was getting used to hearing things that she couldn't hear before, so rather than freak out over how clearly she heard Edda walk towards it, and Nik's low, manly voice, she slid out of bed awkwardly, wrapping the covers around her like a human sausage roll and tiptoed to her bedroom door. It was only slightly ajar, allowing a tiny slit of light from the hallway lamp. She opened it a little, tempted to peer out but held herself back. He'd see her and she didn't want to be seen right now.
“Nik. You want to come in?” Edda whispered.
“I don't think that would be a good idea. I just wanted to give you this.” There was a pause as the sound of an object met palm.
“Thank you,” Edda said.
Another pause.
“How is she doing?”
“She's well enough to probably resent me if I told you all her pains and symptoms. She'd probably get so embarrassed and I'd never hear the end of it.”
There was a light, shushed chuckle which was new to Jaz. She didn't recall ever hearing him laugh before.
“I'm sure you wouldn't. Tell her that you'll need that back after she's finished with it, you know the drill.”
“Okay.”
“I'll call you tomorrow morning.”
The door shut and Jaz stepped out her room and into the hallway.
Edda turned and saw her lingering there. “What are you doing out of bed?You need to rest.”
Edda was hiding her hand behind her back and Jaz eyed it curiously as she hobbled into the living room, trying her hardest to conceal how much pain and effort it took. “What did he give you?”
Edda stared at her for a moment and then sighed. She held up the object in her hand.
Jaz's eyes widened with surprise and then joy.
A mobile phone.
She inhaled, about to explode with the joy she felt just before Edda cut in, “It's only for tonight.”
Jaz bobbed her head happily. “That's okay.”
“You will have to give it back to me.”
“Okay.”
“And you cannot mention anything about us or this place. Just that it's a health centre and spa and you're having a good time and that you're okay.”
“Alright,” she accepted with a grin.
“Including your parents,” Edda added in a low voice.
“We are talking about my parents who raised me, right?” Jaz asked, a mischievous smirk spreading across her face.
Edda raised a brow and gave Jaz a look. Then her expression softened, a fleeting smile played on her plump lips. “You cannot mention anything about this place because we don't know who might be listening.”
Jaz nodded again, in understanding.
“Nik has entrusted you with this, even though he knows the dangers of it. Don't let him down.”
Jaz gave her a look that showed how grateful she was of him and of her for doing this.