“Fuck,” he ground out. “I always want you. I’ve wanted you for years. I want you in every position known to man.” Pausing, he dropped his forehead against mine. “But our first time isn’t going to be after something like that, when you just want to forget what you saw and what you’re feeling.”
Heart pounding, I stared up into his eyes. “Our first time?” I repeated dumbly, as if it just occurred to me that we hadn’t done the deed yet.
“I want you to only be thinking about me. I want you to be focused on me because you want to be and not because you are trying to escape something,” he said, and slowly loosened his grip. “I don’t want what will happen between us to ever be overshadowed by something else.”
I was aching in so many ways, but his words slowly filtered through the haze. He watched me as it all clicked together. What was I thinking? My face started to crumble. “I’m—”
“Don’t apologize, baby.” He dropped a sweet, quick kiss on my forehead and then eased on his side. “Not allowing this is the fucking hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
I willed myself to pull it together, but my eyes stung and then filled with tears. When they spilled over, it didn’t have anything to do with Jase putting the brakes on my little sexual escapades. I was feeling what I needed to feel right then and there—sorrow, pain, confusion, and hurt. It all whirled together, forming a maelstrom of violent emotion.
Jase swept his arms around me, pulling me to his chest, his hand cradling the back of my head. He seemed to know why the tears came, and he held me to him until I tired myself out and slipped into the sweet oblivion that was nothingness.
We had to have slept for hours, maybe even sleeping half of the day away, because when I opened my eyes, faint sunlight streamed in from the window behind the bed.
And we weren’t alone.
What the . . . ?
The cobwebs of sleep cluttered my head as the rest of the room came into view. My brother stood at the foot of the bed, his mouth hanging open. The top of Avery’s red head appeared, and her wide brown eyes peeked over his shoulder. I blinked slowly. What were they doing here? Was I dreaming? Or having a nightmare?
A muscle popped in Cam’s jaw as his gaze moved down the bed. I looked down and my eyes widened. The comforter had been tangled around our legs in the middle of the night. My left leg was outside the blanket and was snuggly fit between Jase’s thighs. While I knew he had his boxers on, it didn’t look that way. Hell, we looked naked. My borrowed shirt had slipped completely off my shoulder and with the way I’d hogged all the blankets, it didn’t look like I was wearing anything and Jase’s chest was exposed.
Worse yet, I was half on top of Jase.
Holy shit.
I stiffened, my gaze meeting Cam’s. His blue eyes were on fire as he snapped his mouth shut. Avery popped out from behind my brother, looking like she was fighting a grin as she clamped her hands under her chin.
Jase’s arm flexed around my waist, tugging me closer. He turned his head, nuzzling my neck. He yawned, a deep rousing sound that echoed through the room. “What’s wrong, baby?”
I was speechless.
Every line in my brother’s body tensed in a way that spelled big, mothertrucker kind of trouble. “Baby?”
Jase stilled, but he didn’t remove his arm as he pulled his face out of my neck. He looked toward the foot of the bed and exhaled slowly.
There was a beat of silence and then Cam said, “What the fuck?”
Twenty-one
Things could not possibly get any more awkward.
“What in the fuck are you doing in bed with my sister?” Cam demanded.
Jase reached down casually and flipped the blanket so my legs were covered. “Well, we were sleeping.”
Cam’s jaw worked. “Naked?”
Whelp, this just got more awkward. Face burning, I started to sit up, but Jase’s arm was like a band of steel. “We’re not naked.”
“That’s good to know.”
Avery looked away, pressing her lips together.
“And we weren’t doing anything,” I said, and it sounded lame even to my own ears.
Jase glanced at me. “Now, that is a lie.” My heart stopped in disbelief as he sat up, making sure I still stayed covered, which was a good thing. I was pretty sure my shirt was twisted up around my breasts. “We weren’t doing anything right this moment and maybe not exactly last night, but we have done things. Things I’m sure you don’t want to hear about.”
Oh. My. God.
“Actually, I do want to hear exactly what things my best friend has been doing to my sister when I busted my ass to get back here after hearing what happened to Debbie.”
Avery placed her hand on Cam’s arm. “I don’t think this with Jase is any of our business.”
“No,” Jase said. “It is your business and we were going to tell you, but it didn’t happen.”
“Tell me what exactly?” Cam demanded, his hands opening and closing at his sides.