And our suitemate turned out to be the half-naked chick from Jase’s room—Steph. Any other time I would’ve laughed at the irony. That the MIA suitemate was her of all people. I almost did laugh, but I stopped it before it could bubble up, because I knew if I started laughing, I’d never stop.
Beautiful Steph, with her raven-colored hair pulled in a high ponytail and wearing sleep shorts that were shorter than the chicks at Hooters wore, had tried to talk to me once I was in the too-bright lobby, sitting on one of the uncomfortable chairs with its hard cushions. She’d given up when all I could do was stare at her blankly.
Debbie was dead.
A shudder rocked through me, followed by a series of less powerful shivers.
The lobby was full of people huddled in corners, some whispering and others crying. People were hugging one another. Others looked shell-shocked by the knowledge that a few floors above us, someone was dead.
Steph returned to my side with a blanket and draped it over my shoulders. I murmured a barely audible “Thank you.” She nodded as she sat beside me. Another girl, someone I knew I recognized but couldn’t place, approached us.
“Not now,” Steph snapped, causing me to jump.
The girl stopped, her bare toes curling on the lobby floor. “But—”
“But I don’t care,” she interrupted. “Leave her alone.”
I blinked dumbly as the girl wheeled around and disappeared back into a huddle. A few minutes later a guy started toward us, and Steph sent him off, too. She was like a watchdog.
Red and blue lights from outside the dorm cast strange flashes across the lobby, and I squeezed my eyes shut.
Debbie had hung herself.
I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I couldn’t even begin to understand why she had done it. Last night she had made such a big decision and this morning she’d been okay as she talked about going to her parents and now . . .
She was dead.
The campus police finally came down to talk to me; one of the younger officers crouched down and in low, even tones, asked me to recount how I came to find her. When they asked if Debbie had been acting strange in the last couple of days, I sucked in a shuddering breath.
“No. But she broke up with her boyfriend,” I said, my voice hoarse and flat. “She was in a good mood when I last talked to her. I thought she’d left to tell her folks about the breakup.”
The police exchanged looks, like the fact that Deb had broken up with her boyfriend explained everything, but it didn’t. If anything, it made this whole situation even more confusing. Why would she do it when she said she had so much to look forward to?
Once I was done talking to the campus police, the county and state officials showed up, asking the same questions.
“She’s already answered those questions,” Steph spat when a deputy asked what I was doing before I returned to the apartment.
The deputy nodded. “I understand, but—”
“But don’t you think she’s, like, I don’t know, a bit traumatized by everything right now? That you could give her some breathing room? Maybe a few minutes to deal with everything?”
The deputy’s eyes widened a bit, but before he could respond, Steph stood suddenly and stepped around the deputy. “Thank God, you’re here. It took you long enough.”
I didn’t get a chance to look up to see who she was talking to. The deputy sidestepped as a tall shadow fell over me, and the next second, arms went around my shoulders. I inhaled deeply, recognizing the faint trace of cologne that belonged to him—to Jase. Shuddering, I turned into his embrace, burying my face against his chest.
“I was back at the farm when you called,” he said to Steph. She called him? What the what? “I came as fast as I could.” His hand slid up my back, tangling in my hair. “Oh, baby, I am so sorry.”
I couldn’t speak as I burrowed closer and gripped his sides until I was bunching up the same sweater he’d worn on our date earlier. I wasn’t close enough. I was so cold that I wanted to get inside him.
“I wish I’d come inside with you. Damnit, I wish you didn’t have to see that.” He dropped his head to mine as he tightened his hold, keeping the blanket from slipping away. “I’m so sorry, baby.”
The deputy must’ve given up, because he wasn’t asking questions I didn’t want to think about anymore. God, I didn’t want to think at all.
“Thank you,” I heard Jase say, and then there were the soft footsteps of Steph walking away from us.
I wanted to tell Jase how she’d stayed by my side, but my lips were pressed together too tightly. He held me, whispering words in my ear that didn’t make much sense to me, but somehow had this calming effect.
A sudden hush descended on the lobby, and Jase’s body tensed against mine. Suddenly, someone cried out and some residents’ sobbing grew louder. A sickening feeling pooled in my stomach and I started to pull free, to look because I had to look.
“No.” His hand clamped down on the back of my head, holding me in place. “You do not need to look right now, baby. I’m not going to let you see this.”